Everton 2011/12: If Everton was a school...

[FTY]

Royston Drenthe: Was the one that got A* every other exam, but got Fs the rest of the time before being permanently suspended.
Tony Hibbert: Was the one that failed at everything, but tried hard and sat by the teacher.
Denis Straculursi: Was the exchange student that did okay but ultimately didnt understand the country.

You boys do some...

 

[Summerskin]

Ross Barkley: The lad that always gets a stiffy in class (gave away a peno once) and gets told to drop a level (reserves) by the teacher (Moyes).

 

[BlueWeasel]

Jelavic was the one that joined late but immediately was the most popular with the girls and the 'cock' of the year.

 

[Summerskin]

Jelavic: The hot new lad that comes in and smashes your bird in front of you whilst staring you in the eyes the entire time, even when he comes.

 

[toffeejack]

hibbert got D's IMO. cahill was the one who use to get A's and yet last season got C's and D's. Baines was the goody too shoes with straight A* and felli with a load of A* and a couple of A's (because the teachers didnt like his flailing elbows and tall stature), with a full set of A* expected next season

 

[FTY]

Jelavic was the one that joined late but immediately was the most popular with the girls and the 'cock' of the year.

Jelavic: The hot new lad that comes in and smashes your bird in front of you whilst staring you in the eyes the entire time, even when he comes.

Awkward...

 

[toffeejack]

Jelavic: The hot new lad that comes in and smashes your bird in front of you whilst staring you in the eyes the entire time, even when he comes.

he deserves my bird she'll be missed

 

[Deloodid]

Vellios was the lad in school who always pulled the birds

 

[Toffeeman1878]

Heitinga: Suddenly became popular halfway through the season and is now banging all the cheerleaders at the same time

 

[FTY]

Steven Pienaar: The one who left halfway through last year to go to a posh school cuz he thought he was better than this school, before coming back this term after realising he not too good for this school after-all

 

[Dom1878]

Vellios was the lad in school who always pulled the birds

And the teacher was jealous of him and disliked him throughout the entire school year

 

[Julio Ananas]

he deserves my bird she'll be missed

ANICHEBE AND NEVILLE LICKING WINDOWS AT SCHOOL

 

[FTY]

ANICHEBE AND NEVILLE LICKING WINDOWS AT SCHOOL

Hahaha, what did you type in, kids licking?

 

[paulbefc]

Neville's that proper enthusiastic beaut that's really hardworking but is completely average and doesn't go out and get smashed on cider in the park and talk to the girls because he's home doing his homework. Distin is the biggest and hardest and regularly bullies Phil for the entertainment of the class.

 

[The Size Of A Cow]

Osman - a flair for the arty subjects (skilful), but struggles with the core stuff (shooting)

Neville - shite at PE but very good at helping the teacher set the cones out.