I have to ask here, what in the name of holy hell is going on with those photos of Salad after his signing, sat in the middle of the pitch on a red velvet and gold chair on a sodding red carpet? And then used by the BBC and Sky as if it's the most natural thing in the world.
Good God. Remember when Trevor Francis signed for Forest for a million quid? He got a pen in his hand with the manager standing behind him. Could you imagine Cloughie's reaction if he'd chirped up 'Hey boss, I've got a good idea. Why don't I go and sit in a big throne on the pitch with nobody else around - you know, like I own the place - and you can stay here with the rest of the drones?' I think I have an idea what would have happened. It would have taken a proctologist quite a while to remove that wickedly curved chair leg.
When we signed Mike Newell, there was a photo of him eating a Toffee Crisp. That was it. All right, so he was an absolutely appalling footballer - but the point stands...
The world has gone mad, and we're just standing around and watching it unfold on the Red Broadcasting Empire. I despair.