2018/19 Dominic Calvert-Lewin

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Big Fat Sam

Player Valuation: £70m
He shouldn't be seen as competition to Kean. We need somebody who actually scores goals to be competition to Kean, which means I desperately hope we bring in another striker and ship out Niasse and Tosun. DCL can be third choice or a good option off the bench against tiring defenders.
 

Milkman

Player Valuation: £15m
Disrespectful to the memories of those lost in the Great War to give him the number 9. Feel sick, I'm shaking with rage. I can honestly say that nothing in the world is, or ever will be, more disgusting than this. Returning my season ticket today.
 
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