I was fine with that bit, it was this excerpt that sent my head flying off:
‘“Yeah of course I keep an eye on the fan forums!” laughed DCL as he adjusted his feather boa, “there was a guy on one of them called Dave K, I think it was. He was clearly the intellectual superior of everyone else on there. Streets ahead. No contest.”’
" My favourite poster on the fan forums, was some old fella called Joseph66 I think ? "
" Proper worshipped me he did, even when my thigh was hanging off, he was still sticking up for me, when everyone else said I was finished "
" Things turned a bit dark with him, when one day he turned up at our gaff, unannounced, on a ride along lawnmower offering to cut the lawns at the back of the mansion if he could have some old photos of me.. I was away with Everton at the time, so there was just Sandra and the baby in ".
" Sandra thanked him for kindly offering his services, but told him that we already had a gardener that everyone used locally and that he was called Jersey Jim, on account of him originally coming from Jersey "
Joseph66 seemed to know Jersey Jim from old and started screaming about something called the Jersey Horticultural Society and how they`d blackballed him in 1958 and got him kicked off the island "
" Sandra had no idea what was going on, as we`d been to Jersey a few times and thought it was a lovely place ".
" Thankfully some even older fella, who it turned out was his older brother, who`d been on a scouting mission at the footy pitches by us, where the U10`s play, was passing on his way home and he jumped out of his van and grabbed up Joseph66 and bundled him into the back of the van "
" We never heard from him again, but I`ve been told by a mate, that he`s now moved onto to worshipping a young lad, who`s come through the youth system and just broken into the first team, after that divvy Moyes sent him on loan to Preston "
