Been feeling very empty and down as of late. Have always been an introverted person, but neither shy nor lonely but I'm feeling that living alone in my mid 40s is becoming more and more difficult. I work long hours in a demanding job, and that is both a blessing and a curse.
After I've been to the gym and work, and done household work, it's not unusual for me to be in bed by 9pm each night, and I do that at weekends as well. Even though Everton's struggles felt stressful and exhausting, they were a distraction in their own way. I feel now that there is nothing intrinsic to look forward to, and every day is the same.
It's actually my social skills that are lacking I think. I know people will say take a night class, take up a new hobby, volunteer etc but I just have no motivation to do any of those things. I have been on meds for anxiety/depression but not taking any currently, and have had CBT and counselling. I talk to my GP regularly and he is empathetic but outside of more therapy, I get the impression that even he is at a loss to suggest anything.
I think its a form of functional depression that I have. I meet all my obligations, and coping well at work, and I take regular and intensive exercise. I'm physically well and eat well. It's just this creeping emptiness. I'm almost dare to say it, looking forward to the start of the season again just as it will provide something for my mind to focus on.
