Current Affairs Coronavirus Thread - Serious stuff !!!

[carlos21]

You have my vote mate.

Alright then mate all mods gone off.

 

[LinekersLegs]

 

[LinekersLegs]

 

[Spadge Vernacular]

Men

 

[Bruce Wayne]

Coronavirus: What I learnt in Oxford’s vaccine trial

The Covid-19 vaccine developed by Oxford University has shown tantalising results so far. Richard Fisher describes what it’s like to be one of the volunteers in the clinical trials.

www.bbc.com

 

[YoboCopter]

Dr explaining the pandemic to a coma patient who just woke up…
Dr: “They shut down the world because of a worldwide pandemic.”
Patient: “OMG! How many people are infected?”
Dr : “About 11 Million.”
Patient: “OMG! 11 million people died?”
Dr: “No, only 500 thousand… Kind of.”
Patient: “What do you mean ‘kind of’?”
Dr: “Well… they keep halving the number of deaths due to double counting, inaccurate tests and mislabeled death certificates. Also, most of the people that die are elderly and dying of other things. There are also people who died because of incorrect ventilator use and other treatments because no-one really understands the virus.”
Patient: “I don’t get it. So how many died from ONLY the virus… like literally dropped dead in the street?”
Dr: “No-one. Only in hospitals and nursing homes”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I, it’s a very confusing time.”
Patient: “So they cured the other 11 million people then?”
Dr: “No, most didn’t have any symptoms and in fact they didn’t even know they had it.”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I.”
Patient: “It doesn’t sound very deadly. If the other 11 million people didn’t have symptoms then how do they even know they had the virus?”
Dr: “They were tested.”
Patient: “But you just said that the tests are inaccurate.”
Dr: “They are. No-one has isolated the virus so the tests don’t really test for that.”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I.”
Patient: “Ok. So when will this pandemic be over?”
Dr: “When they develop a vaccine to stop the virus.”
Patient: “The virus that nobody gets or dies from.”
Dr: “Exactly.”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I.”

 

[Moomin]

Dr explaining the pandemic to a coma patient who just woke up…
Dr: “They shut down the world because of a worldwide pandemic.”
Patient: “OMG! How many people are infected?”
Dr : “About 11 Million.”
Patient: “OMG! 11 million people died?”
Dr: “No, only 500 thousand… Kind of.”
Patient: “What do you mean ‘kind of’?”
Dr: “Well… they keep halving the number of deaths due to double counting, inaccurate tests and mislabeled death certificates. Also, most of the people that die are elderly and dying of other things. There are also people who died because of incorrect ventilator use and other treatments because no-one really understands the virus.”
Patient: “I don’t get it. So how many died from ONLY the virus… like literally dropped dead in the street?”
Dr: “No-one. Only in hospitals and nursing homes”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I, it’s a very confusing time.”
Patient: “So they cured the other 11 million people then?”
Dr: “No, most didn’t have any symptoms and in fact they didn’t even know they had it.”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I.”
Patient: “It doesn’t sound very deadly. If the other 11 million people didn’t have symptoms then how do they even know they had the virus?”
Dr: “They were tested.”
Patient: “But you just said that the tests are inaccurate.”
Dr: “They are. No-one has isolated the virus so the tests don’t really test for that.”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I.”
Patient: “Ok. So when will this pandemic be over?”
Dr: “When they develop a vaccine to stop the virus.”
Patient: “The virus that nobody gets or dies from.”
Dr: “Exactly.”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I.”

What a load of tosh.

 

[Prevenger17]

Dr explaining the pandemic to a coma patient who just woke up…
Dr: “They shut down the world because of a worldwide pandemic.”
Patient: “OMG! How many people are infected?”
Dr : “About 11 Million.”
Patient: “OMG! 11 million people died?”
Dr: “No, only 500 thousand… Kind of.”
Patient: “What do you mean ‘kind of’?”
Dr: “Well… they keep halving the number of deaths due to double counting, inaccurate tests and mislabeled death certificates. Also, most of the people that die are elderly and dying of other things. There are also people who died because of incorrect ventilator use and other treatments because no-one really understands the virus.”
Patient: “I don’t get it. So how many died from ONLY the virus… like literally dropped dead in the street?”
Dr: “No-one. Only in hospitals and nursing homes”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I, it’s a very confusing time.”
Patient: “So they cured the other 11 million people then?”
Dr: “No, most didn’t have any symptoms and in fact they didn’t even know they had it.”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I.”
Patient: “It doesn’t sound very deadly. If the other 11 million people didn’t have symptoms then how do they even know they had the virus?”
Dr: “They were tested.”
Patient: “But you just said that the tests are inaccurate.”
Dr: “They are. No-one has isolated the virus so the tests don’t really test for that.”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I.”
Patient: “Ok. So when will this pandemic be over?”
Dr: “When they develop a vaccine to stop the virus.”
Patient: “The virus that nobody gets or dies from.”
Dr: “Exactly.”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I.”

 

[Amw79]

Dr explaining the pandemic to a coma patient who just woke up…
Dr: “They shut down the world because of a worldwide pandemic.”
Patient: “OMG! How many people are infected?”
Dr : “About 11 Million.”
Patient: “OMG! 11 million people died?”
Dr: “No, only 500 thousand… Kind of.”
Patient: “What do you mean ‘kind of’?”
Dr: “Well… they keep halving the number of deaths due to double counting, inaccurate tests and mislabeled death certificates. Also, most of the people that die are elderly and dying of other things. There are also people who died because of incorrect ventilator use and other treatments because no-one really understands the virus.”
Patient: “I don’t get it. So how many died from ONLY the virus… like literally dropped dead in the street?”
Dr: “No-one. Only in hospitals and nursing homes”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I, it’s a very confusing time.”
Patient: “So they cured the other 11 million people then?”
Dr: “No, most didn’t have any symptoms and in fact they didn’t even know they had it.”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I.”
Patient: “It doesn’t sound very deadly. If the other 11 million people didn’t have symptoms then how do they even know they had the virus?”
Dr: “They were tested.”
Patient: “But you just said that the tests are inaccurate.”
Dr: “They are. No-one has isolated the virus so the tests don’t really test for that.”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I.”
Patient: “Ok. So when will this pandemic be over?”
Dr: “When they develop a vaccine to stop the virus.”
Patient: “The virus that nobody gets or dies from.”
Dr: “Exactly.”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I.”

Good to see that your rambling, imaginary conversation between the voices in your head eventually got both voices to the conclusion that everyone else had already made about you.

 

[AUXLEN]

Brit tourist tests positive for coronavirus in Lanzarote with husband 'unwell'

The woman is now in quarantine after becoming the first UK holidaymaker in Spain to test positive since the country opened its borders to tourists again on June 21

www.mirror.co.uk

 

[YoboCopter]

Good to see that your rambling, imaginary conversation between the voices in your head eventually got both voices to the conclusion that everyone else had already made about you.

Its a constant battle mate
Good v evil

show me abit of respect

 

[Amw79]

Its a constant battle mate
Good v evil

show me abit of respect

If only this were true, you’d at least have a chance.

It seems to be a battle between wrong v more wrong.

 

[YoboCopter]

If only this were true, you’d at least have a chance.

It seems to be a battle between wrong v more wrong.

Haha thats true

Dont even provoke much response anymore because most people got me on ignore

 

[Walken]

Dr explaining the pandemic to a coma patient who just woke up…
Dr: “They shut down the world because of a worldwide pandemic.”
Patient: “OMG! How many people are infected?”
Dr : “About 11 Million.”
Patient: “OMG! 11 million people died?”
Dr: “No, only 500 thousand… Kind of.”
Patient: “What do you mean ‘kind of’?”
Dr: “Well… they keep halving the number of deaths due to double counting, inaccurate tests and mislabeled death certificates. Also, most of the people that die are elderly and dying of other things. There are also people who died because of incorrect ventilator use and other treatments because no-one really understands the virus.”
Patient: “I don’t get it. So how many died from ONLY the virus… like literally dropped dead in the street?”
Dr: “No-one. Only in hospitals and nursing homes”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I, it’s a very confusing time.”
Patient: “So they cured the other 11 million people then?”
Dr: “No, most didn’t have any symptoms and in fact they didn’t even know they had it.”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I.”
Patient: “It doesn’t sound very deadly. If the other 11 million people didn’t have symptoms then how do they even know they had the virus?”
Dr: “They were tested.”
Patient: “But you just said that the tests are inaccurate.”
Dr: “They are. No-one has isolated the virus so the tests don’t really test for that.”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I.”
Patient: “Ok. So when will this pandemic be over?”
Dr: “When they develop a vaccine to stop the virus.”
Patient: “The virus that nobody gets or dies from.”
Dr: “Exactly.”
Patient: “I don’t get it.”
Dr: “Neither do I.”

Gave up a quarter of the way into this garbage, can only assume this is some sort of weak attempt at levity

 

[Harryflashman]

Gave up a quarter of the way into this garbage, can only assume this is some sort of weak attempt at levity

you let yourself down by not sticking with it for the twist . It turns out that the Doctor is actually keyser Söze and was just getting all the answers from crazy right wing conspiracy theory blogs he could see as he glanced around . As he walks away he puts a mask on .