Best Man

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I did it about 10 years ago for my mate. Never been so nervous in my entire life. I wrote about 50 speeches and tried to be clever and witty. Felt like everybodys eyes where on me in the church, kept checking for the ring in my pocket every 30seconds. As soon as i stepped foot in the recieption place i hit the bar. I knocked back about 8 bottles of bud in about 30minutes.

Read my speech and got a few laughs, so that helped me relax or maybe it was the bud, but once the speech was out the way, my work was done and i could smashed beyond belief. Was a great day looking back. But was shitting bricks for about a 3months before it.
 

Ive done it , cocka . Its not what it says in the brochure . You'll be as stressed as the ( blushing ) Bride ,mate .
Rules ;
1. Make the Bride look good . Even if the story is about him , make her look good .
2. Never , ever , decide to tell , " THAT " story . Its a mistake , and " the beer talking " . Forget it .
3. Mothers of Brides never , ever , ever forget . Plus , there'll be Christenings , Communions etc . You WILL meet her again .
4. Be self-depreciating . ( It may help with the Bridesmaids . )
( Hey , just cause your mates having the worst day of his life , dont mean everyone's got to suffer , does it ??? )
5. If you bomb . Deflect !!! Pick a , " Patsy " , in the audience whom , in the event of armegeddon , you can , " pick-on " .

Hope it goes well for you mate .
P.S. Not losing the ring is always a good way to start the procedings . Just a thought .
 
MikelsGoat said:
I did it about 10 years ago for my mate. Never been so nervous in my entire life. I wrote about 50 speeches and tried to be clever and witty. Felt like everybodys eyes where on me in the church, kept checking for the ring in my pocket every 30seconds. As soon as i stepped foot in the recieption place i hit the bar. I knocked back about 8 bottles of bud in about 30minutes.

Read my speech and got a few laughs, so that helped me relax or maybe it was the bud, but once the speech was out the way, my work was done and i could smashed beyond belief. Was a great day looking back. But was shitting bricks for about a 3months before it.
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Thanks.

steevie said:
You dont have to be a best man at a wedding to look like a tit chico mate. :lol:
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True.

heatmeiser said:
Just get plastered, make a **** of yourself and ruin the day for all involved.

Standard.
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Ta.

little curly alan ball said:
Ive done it , cocka . Its not what it says in the brochure . You'll be as stressed as the ( blushing ) Bride ,mate .
Rules ;
1. Make the Bride look good . Even if the story is about him , make her look good .
2. Never , ever , decide to tell , " THAT " story . Its a mistake , and " the beer talking " . Forget it .
3. Mothers of Brides never , ever , ever forget . Plus , there'll be Christenings , Communions etc . You WILL meet her again .
4. Be self-depreciating . ( It may help with the Bridesmaids . )
( Hey , just cause your mates having the worst day of his life , dont mean everyone's got to suffer , does it ??? )
5. If you bomb . Deflect !!! Pick a , " Patsy " , in the audience whom , in the event of armegeddon , you can , " pick-on " .

Hope it goes well for you mate .
P.S. Not losing the ring is always a good way to start the procedings . Just a thought .
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Nice stuff there mate. Ive done loads of that public speaking stuff so it doesnt really phase me much but I just want to get it right as I know his family dead well, and well, he's a mate.
 
He picked you?

You?

Let me get this straight. Someone has picked you to be their best man?

Clearly he has been railroaded into this wedding and is counting on you to get him out of it.
 

chicoazul said:
He picked me because Im dead brilliant.

He's from Southdene too.

The wedding is in Florida.
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He's a good man then.

Florida ay?

The mrs made a joke the other day of checking the beaches out for a future potential wedding venue around your parts :unsure::lol:

When are you going to pop the question to your other half? Remember I txt you saying congratulations on getting engaged? B*****d Mick :@
 
My mate is getting married in April in some castle in Scotland. Then the next week he is doing a local receiption in the Village in Brom. Then he is going on honeymoon to Mauratis(SP??!?!?!) I asked him the other day how much its all going to cost, about 25k he says. That right there is why i aint getting married.
 
GrandOldTeam said:
He's a good man then.

Florida ay?

The mrs made a joke the other day of checking the beaches out for a future potential wedding venue around your parts :unsure::lol:

When are you going to pop the question to your other half? Remember I txt you saying congratulations on getting engaged? B*****d Mick :@
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I'd be shitting myself. Have words mate.

Pretend its not legally binding or something.


I'm probably not going to get married mate. This one's got more money and assets than me and clearly more sense.
 
MikelsGoat said:
My mate is getting married in April in some castle in Scotland. Then the next week he is doing a local receiption in the Village in Brom. Then he is going on honeymoon to Mauratis(SP??!?!?!) I asked him the other day how much its all going to cost, about 25k he says. That right there is why i aint getting married.
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Is he a Premiership footballer?

F-uck that right off.

Tell him to swerve to Gretna on his way up there and pocket the rest.
 

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