Bedwetters Guide to Being An Evertonian During A Transfer Window

[Carlito]

Battle lines are established. Positivity try hards have drawn fist blood.

How will the Boo Union respond?

 

[msb]

Nice one La. I think you forgot scenario x

If all else fails, moan anyway, because moaning is what we do. Hold on to our glorious past and forget that our greatest era was built on the back of some youngsters, some old and knackered buys and a manager that everyone wanted to sack. Apparently, Everton that.

 

[Lanolin]

The edit is the all important thing there mate. Fine to hold those views at the end of the window if nothing has happened. But Koeman has made clear that these are positions he is wanting to address.

That's a bit like saying those who saw through Martinez and said we were going nowhere from about November 2014 were only actually right once he got sacked though isn't it.

They were right all along of course, but plenty of people said we had to give him time, and put forward countless embarrassing excuses (difficult run of fixtures, focusing on Europe, distracted by cup runs, young team, let down by senior players blah blah blah) before eventually accepting the truth of the matter.

I'm not saying that this window will end up being a disappointment, and I obviously hope it doesn't. At this moment in time though, it has been. And seeing as we've already started playing competitive games, have passed the deadline for players to be available for the next round of a supposedly very important European adventure, and the league campaign starts in 3 days time, that is pretty damn frustrating. If saying so makes me a bedwetter then fine, buy me a new tumble dryer because I'll say it every day until I feel differently.

 

[Baines' left foot]

You're not allowed to call them bed wetters mate as they get upset and complain to the mods.

I suggest we use 'mattress moisturisers' in future until that one becomes too upsetting and we think of another one.

 

[flibbyflob]

While lack of movement is a little worrying it isn't as though the window slams shut this weekend when the league starts. We have done well in the transfer market so far and have time to do more business and bring in the players the bedwetters are moaning about so there is no point worrying about it until we see what squad we have once the window closes. If at that stage we still haven't signed a striker then we can all rightfully say that the club have failed, until then we should trust the powers that be as they have more of an idea of what is going on than any of us do.

 

[orly]

"Bedwetters" zzzzzzzzzz criticising Everton fans who don't stand erect for Moshiri zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Baz and his 'some blues :laughing emoji: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz same superfans who will cry in September zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[Timhowardsswearbox]

Scenario 10

Everton are linked in the press to a "statement" type signing.

Response

Haha. The papers know nothing. As if this guy would ever come to us. If he were genuinely available he would have a queue of clubs loads better than us in for him. I repeat [insert name of journalist] knows nothing about our transfers, file under jarg.

Scenario 11

Everton are linked in the press to bringing Darren Fletcher in as Koeman's number 1 target as midfield maestro.

Response

Oh my God! The club is a joke, how are we ever supposed to push on if we are signing [poor language removed] like this? Sure sign that we have no money to spend if we are in for players like this. [insert name of journalist] has a link to the club as his sister's husband works in Everton Two so he will definitely have been tipped off by the club. Same old Everton.

 

[royalblue66]

That's a bit like saying those who saw through Martinez and said we were going nowhere from about November 2014 were only actually right once he got sacked though isn't it.

They were right all along of course, but plenty of people said we had to give him time, and put forward countless embarrassing excuses (difficult run of fixtures, focusing on Europe, distracted by cup runs, young team, let down by senior players blah blah blah) before eventually accepting the truth of the matter.

I'm not saying that this window will end up being a disappointment, and I obviously hope it doesn't. At this moment in time though, it has been. And seeing as we've already started playing competitive games, have passed the deadline for players to be available for the next round of a supposedly very important European adventure, and the league campaign starts in 3 days time, that is pretty damn frustrating. If saying so makes me a bedwetter then fine, buy me a new tumble dryer because I'll say it every day until I feel differently.

Yes you are defo a bedwetter.

 

[BlueLlama]

What? If it's on the internet, it's true. Probably.

HE WAS RIGHT ABOUT PICKFORD JOINING OMFG ITS OFF!

 

[NZtommy]

Sums up a good percentage of our fan base.

 

[orly]

No wonder it's so easy to get people to listen to jarg podcasts so you can recycle a load of acronyms and be a superbloo

 

[mkrudden]

What about the one where, as soon as a player hits 30, he needs binning and replaced by a 23 year old from Celtic?

CC @Mikey_Fitzgerald

 

[blue76]

Spot on this from the OP.

In tears here at the bedwetters all now trying to justify themselves.

 

[Joey66]

If we struggle what will the non bed wetters say?
not to bothered about pre season form as in the past we do well, and have started badly - its the signing from now till the end of August are the most important on who comes in and who leaves imo!

 

[peteblue]

Something appropriate for you lot.....