Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

An operation was briefly discussed when I met with the NHS physio, but it was more of an instant dismissal than a consideration. I actually agree with him as well, as I've read about back operations online, and it seems a bit of a lottery as to whether it improves things or makes things 10 times worse.

I've also been to loads of chiropractors over the years. Some people may have had good experiences with them, but my advice is STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THEM. There is little to no evidence of their efficacy, and I hold the belief that they have made things worse. Your back isn't supposed to be cracked like that, imo. It may bring some temporary relief but it causes greater problems further down the road.

Dymak have you tried swimming. It has an excellent evidence base for helping people with back issues. If you haven't, give it a go as I suspect it may be therapeutic for you.
 
Dymak have you tried swimming. It has an excellent evidence base for helping people with back issues. If you haven't, give it a go as I suspect it may be therapeutic for you.

I do it on holiday but not in the UK. That is one of the things that people often mention that I haven’t actually tried. I will give it a go, but who knows when we will next the opportunity for that type of thing with Covid etc?

Thanks for your help!
 
I do it on holiday but not in the UK. That is one of the things that people often mention that I haven’t actually tried. I will give it a go, but who knows when we will next the opportunity for that type of thing with Covid etc?

Thanks for your help!

Try indoor climbing too mate. Very good for your back. It strengthens and stretches every single muscle in the back. If you look at experienced climbers their backs are ripped.

And, sorry to bang on about those books, but they address that exact link between physical and mental health that Spotty mentioned above. This link is especially strong when it comes to back problems. I have a very mild L4/L5 protrusion and a mild L5/S1 bulge and was in all sorts of pain also in the upper back which theoretically shouldn't be possible if the anatomical disorder is in the lower back. I read one of those books over a weekend and my pain reduced hugely, like by 80-90%. Now it feels a bit stiff sometimes by it has no impact on my life any more.
 
Found a lump in the nethers a couple weeks ago. Saw a Dr today and he think it's most likely a cyst but sending me for ultrasound within 2 weeks to make sure its not worse. Can't help the anxiety building.
The crazy thing is my mum is going for a scan on a lump soon too. Hopefully we'll both be fine.

Remember Mr Testicles' purpose lads, and check yourselves.
Just had the scan, the insides are normal and its just a cyst. Really relieved. Apparently 6/10-men have cysts around those parts and its absolutely no cause for concern. Its been dominating my head for the past few days so the cost of having cold jelly smeared all over me sack was negligible.
Always get checked out.
 

Just had the scan, the insides are normal and its just a cyst. Really relieved. Apparently 6/10-men have cysts around those parts and its absolutely no cause for concern. Its been dominating my head for the past few days so the cost of having cold jelly smeared all over me sack was negligible.
Always get checked out.
Well done you ,it is always hard to have something checked out when it is around there but you did and well done ,my man of the day .
 
Well done you ,it is always hard to have something checked out when it is around there but you did and well done ,my man of the day .
The actual examination and ultrasound wasn't that bad, they were all really professional of course so not even that embarrassing either.
 
Just had the scan, the insides are normal and its just a cyst. Really relieved. Apparently 6/10-men have cysts around those parts and its absolutely no cause for concern. Its been dominating my head for the past few days so the cost of having cold jelly smeared all over me sack was negligible.
Always get checked out.
True words, cancers are manageable if caught early, any lump needs checking asap.
 

Separated and ultimately divorced my wife 2 years ago. It was her decision to end the marriage. I have two children but my eldest daughter barely speaks to me or my family. Had counselling last year, but despite acting on their advice, I’m no further on with a reconciliation. It’s obvious I’ve been blamed for the break up, but nothing could be further from the truth. I had to move out of the family home, we had built up over 20 years and although my new house isn’t too shabby, it’s nothing compared what I was used to. Financially I can’t compete with my ex, she has a new fella, take the children on holidays, something I can’t afford to do anymore. It really is getting me down. I am a brilliant dad, in my exes words, and it is tearing me apart that one of my kids I idolise, no longer has any interest in me. I wondering if anyone else has been through similar in a separation and would welcome any advice.
 
Separated and ultimately divorced my wife 2 years ago. It was her decision to end the marriage. I have two children but my eldest daughter barely speaks to me or my family. Had counselling last year, but despite acting on their advice, I’m no further on with a reconciliation. It’s obvious I’ve been blamed for the break up, but nothing could be further from the truth. I had to move out of the family home, we had built up over 20 years and although my new house isn’t too shabby, it’s nothing compared what I was used to. Financially I can’t compete with my ex, she has a new fella, take the children on holidays, something I can’t afford to do anymore. It really is getting me down. I am a brilliant dad, in my exes words, and it is tearing me apart that one of my kids I idolise, no longer has any interest in me. I wondering if anyone else has been through similar in a separation and would welcome any advice.

Don't despair ,I built my own house 200sq.m.we both had cars ,we went on holidays ,I sent my kids to private school because I thought it would give them a better chance .
It seems I might have been right as they are doing well but the youngest boy ,who I fussed over more because my ex gave it all to the eldest ,has not spoken to me in 20 years .It breaks my heart although I have given up hope realistically .
I took my ex.to court to sell the house and although she lived there alone the judge said "she has no money to give you and I am not making her sell " so I had nothing .
I met a woman and moved to Finland ,when I was on route I realised I had little in the bank and worst of all I had no keys .
My car was on the boat to Finland but other than that I had no keys -that was a terrible feeling at 50 years of age to have basically nothing .I had worked mostly seven day weeks to pay for everything and I had nothing .
But I had won the lottery without knowing ,I had met the most wonderful person and one who has been my best ever friend ,who lives to make my life better .
As I said my youngest "hates me " as he drives around in his Porsche -I could tell him about his mother but what would that do ?
My eldest son and his family come over to see me and my daughter has visited too.
Oh I moved into a 50sq.m. apartment when I arrived but I didn't miss the big house .
Don't despair as I said because there is a big shining light at the end of the tunnel ,I know as that is where I ended up.
I still have no money to talk about ,I live on less than the state pension but I have a great life and you can too.
 
Don't despair ,I built my own house 200sq.m.we both had cars ,we went on holidays ,I sent my kids to private school because I thought it would give them a better chance .
It seems I might have been right as they are doing well but the youngest boy ,who I fussed over more because my ex gave it all to the eldest ,has not spoken to me in 20 years .It breaks my heart although I have given up hope realistically .
I took my ex.to court to sell the house and although she lived there alone the judge said "she has no money to give you and I am not making her sell " so I had nothing .
I met a woman and moved to Finland ,when I was on route I realised I had little in the bank and worst of all I had no keys .
My car was on the boat to Finland but other than that I had no keys -that was a terrible feeling at 50 years of age to have basically nothing .I had worked mostly seven day weeks to pay for everything and I had nothing .
But I had won the lottery without knowing ,I had met the most wonderful person and one who has been my best ever friend ,who lives to make my life better .
As I said my youngest "hates me " as he drives around in his Porsche -I could tell him about his mother but what would that do ?
My eldest son and his family come over to see me and my daughter has visited too.
Oh I moved into a 50sq.m. apartment when I arrived but I didn't miss the big house .
Don't despair as I said because there is a big shining light at the end of the tunnel ,I know as that is where I ended up.
I still have no money to talk about ,I live on less than the state pension but I have a great life and you can too.
Cheers for the advice mate. I too have met a wonderful girl. Her support has been fantastic, But nevertheless it still hurts so much. She is at a loss just like me, why my daughter is so cold to me, when all I’ve done is to be the best dad to her I possibly can.
 
Separated and ultimately divorced my wife 2 years ago. It was her decision to end the marriage. I have two children but my eldest daughter barely speaks to me or my family. Had counselling last year, but despite acting on their advice, I’m no further on with a reconciliation. It’s obvious I’ve been blamed for the break up, but nothing could be further from the truth. I had to move out of the family home, we had built up over 20 years and although my new house isn’t too shabby, it’s nothing compared what I was used to. Financially I can’t compete with my ex, she has a new fella, take the children on holidays, something I can’t afford to do anymore. It really is getting me down. I am a brilliant dad, in my exes words, and it is tearing me apart that one of my kids I idolise, no longer has any interest in me. I wondering if anyone else has been through similar in a separation and would welcome any advice.
I'm going through exactly the same mate. I'm now in a shabby flat and I'm considering moving into a bedsit to cut costs again.
I Was a good dad. The exact words from my ex 3 months a go were " your a [Poor language removed] dad and you always were ". Heart breaking.
I again can't compete with my ex and her interfering parents who just throw money at my daughter and now that's all she talks about. " Dad you don't pay or by me anything"
I can't advise you mate because I'm at breaking point. I'm no where near divorce yet either
 
I'm going through exactly the same mate. I'm now in a shabby flat and I'm considering moving into a bedsit to cut costs again.
I Was a good dad. The exact words from my ex 3 months a go were " your a [Poor language removed] dad and you always were ". Heart breaking.
I again can't compete with my ex and her interfering parents who just throw money at my daughter and now that's all she talks about. " Dad you don't pay or by me anything"
I can't advise you mate because I'm at breaking point. I'm no where near divorce yet either
Really sorry to hear that mate. Maybe try counselling via your doctor. I was able to open up about the frustration I’ve felt. It was good to get it off my chest and although my relationship with my daughter hasn’t improved, it was nice to hear some meaningful advice. Just message me if you want any further info.
 

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