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to be honest 'm not fussed I'm struggling to use the comp as it is. only found out evertons result today (I thought it was 2 days ago lol) and I don't even know what i'm typimg.:confused:

last few times I came on this thread it was full of optimism and good feeling. I didn't want to post my situation and take away from that. now it's been asked I am lousy, the lowest I have ever been, I just want it over with now but I can't give up it would go against everything I am, catch 22...

everything really, nothing that I can explain satisfactory. I just know. I am going to see my oncologist tomorrow so will discuss with him.:)

to be honest things are deteriorating now and I think it will happen soon. maybe it's a manifestation of that.

thanks for letting me know i'am not alone in this. I also had a spell last week where I had vivid dreams every night, they were so real that I couldn't distinguish them from reality and remembered them for hours after waking. all were related to my situation.

a bit off topic but does anyone know where the server donation link has gone to?

your problem is the most important to you as mine is to me and others to them, the point is sharing our problems and by posting you have shown it works. without going into any details I can empathise what you are going through and if you feel you want to chat pm me anytime. damn we need a hug...

means 1 point more than no points;)

well sat with proper footy is upon us again. one added bonus for me is, if things start going wrong with the mightyish blues is I can up my morphine dosage and maybe things won't seem so bad lol. we havn't had music for a while and reading through all these posts 1 thing that seems to prevail...

can't give a like for that bryan it seems inappropriate, sending you a hug instead. pm me if you want to let it all out privately if not vent on here when you are ready, we are all here for you.

well when I get my new bed I think i'll be doing less travelling lollollollol. just taken some more morphine so feeling ok at the moment:dance:

not been too good lately, the pain has been relentless which has been affecting my sleep and general demeanour. I gave in yesterday and agreed to go back on the morphine so feeling better today albeit a little high lol. we have also decided to have a hospital bed in the house so we will ee how...

like x 100

that is the problem I had. they kept changing the drugs or upping the dosage or adding new ones. I didn't know which wer effective or which side effects were causing problems etc. I don't know what the answer is sorry

I find that despite all the negativity we go through, deep down somewhere is a positive spark called " fighting spirit " you need to delve within yourself to find it. It's not always the answer but it's a start and I recommend you try and find it. Good luck

hope it's not too long but take care :bye:

Going to see my counsilor soon, just feel I need to talk to her. she's not officially a councillor, she is my lung cancer nurse and she has been behind me for over 3 years now and she knows more about me than anyone I know outside family. I just need to let off steam and she is a good listener...

thanks. I have a spray and an ointment which are artificial saliva which relieves the dryness. I have reluctantly started taking painkillers which have eased my discomforts allowing me to sleep better. I still feel tired/weary but more refreshed if that makes any sense lol.

x ray, they found another tumour on the main aorta by the heart which was restricting the blood flow. that's when they diagnosed me terminal. not trying to scare you, mine was cancer related but there are loads of other reasons why veins are blocked.