Your the new man...your first five tasks

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Throw the head on big Dunc....the waste of space.
Employ a defensive coach.
Ship out Peanut,Hibbo,Stones,Oviedo,Gibson,Ossie,Besic and that beut Kone.
Sack Kenwrong and burst his ass.
Make me chief scout based in Monte Carlo.
 

1. Make a map with the dressing room on it so I don't lose it
2. Appoint a friendly accountant
3. Siphon 10% of all transfer fees to a BVI account
4. Get GOT closed down to reduce my chances of being caught by @hibbo'sclass
5. Put @Bungle in charge of match day entertainment with a remit of appealing to old pervs.
6. Take maths lessons
You can count mate.
Forget 4, appoint me at 2, and make 3 20% and a 50/50 split with me.

Don't know if I should be flattered or fuming that you think I am not bribe-friendly.
 
1. Secure giant mural depicting self.
2. Outlaw set-pieces, with the exception of perfecting torso-height corners.
3. Practice static off-the-ball motion, so we know where everyone is when we attack.
4. Instill the need to pass 10 times around 18 yard box before looking forward, as a means to waiting for space to appear.
5. Try to get the team playing ideologically rather than directly - this is more entertaining for fans to digest.
 
Tell Lukaku he's going nowhere until he earns the money he's been paid in the last 5 months

Have a good pre-season

Sign a top keeper

Sign a back up to Lukaku

See if James MaCarthy is any good at mowing grass, if so see if the head groundsman has a spot on his team avaliable
We haven't any space on the ground staff .lol
 

1. Login, check access to email, Twitter, and Football Manager Scouting programme.
2. Adjust brightness and contrast setting on monitor
3. Locate kitchen and assess quality of coffee.
4. Find out what time everyone usually knocks off.
5. Email mates to tell them my new work email address.
 
1. Walk into Finch Farm on the first day, gather the squad and tell to forget everything Martinez and his clown coaches ever told them.
2. Buy a new striker
3. Buy a new goalie
4. Buy a new left sided midfielder
5. Get the squad properly fit.

Seriously don't think sorting the defence out is that complicated and glaring an issue that it will require loads of attention, just get them doing the basic defensive drills in training again and that, along with a bit of an uplift in confidence, should see them get back to being solid again before long. Martinez absolutely destroyed the defence with his insistence that it's not important to keep a clean sheet and taking no time in training to focus on it. That will seriously go down in history as one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard a manager come out with, if I ever have kids and I tell them about the Martinez era I'm sure they won't believe me when I explain what he is like, how unbelievable his delusions were.
 
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1- clear out the dross
2 - sign exclusive deal with Salma Hayek to appear naked in match programme
3 - demand a proper memorial/apology for the 39
4 - make a point of asking Rafael what he thought a small club is now.
5- buy ace players and actually coach them
 
1. Log into computer
2. Play this on a loop all day and get nothing done



3. Get the sack
4. Walk out to my car
5. Leave
 

1. kick out oldies (sorry hibbo)
2. buy competent defenders
3. train defence
4. train set pieces
5. dont be gash
 
We need to build a proper team spirit, just look at what leicester achieved by basically doing that, look at how atletico dethroned barca and real. Yes they both have good players as well, but most teams in the top league do these days. as well as that we need to

keep hold of the core players
sign a top keeper, a fairly good experienced centre back, a playmaker and a good backup striker
shift off the deadwood like osman and bring through a fair few of the exciting youngsters we currently have
proper defensive organisation as well as set-piece management (we're fine in an attacking sense from open play imo)
 
Whomever Mr Moshiri decides is to be the next manager of our club, we need to give that man time. He isn't going to turn us into sustained contenders in one season.
Our squad has major issues that need addressing. It may take two or three summers before we are up challenging the top 4.
Patience is required.
 

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