You Know You're A Die Hard Evertonian When...

[Dutch Toffee]

when you're 99 years old and you get hit by a car on your walk to Goodison Park, thus getting swung 10 feet up in the air and landing on your head. Getting up, dust of your clothes and continue your journey, while whistling to the tune of Z-cars.

 

[gkpaul]

You have Z cars played at your wedding! She still doesn't know yet!

Everytime I go into a sports shop and see any type of Liverpool shirt I always put something else in front of it as I "tidy up the shop!"

 

[ijjysmith]

I'll add one:

- you've told your girlfriend you wont marry her unless she gets you tickets for the Stoke game for your birthday.

 

[Blue 1]

- You always hope the blue guy/girl wins on Gladiators.
- You won’t drink Carlsberg or red wine. But mainly 'cos they're gash. Although I will drink Spesh. Usually after an Everton defeat. Nothing else quite hits the spot sometimes.
- You have a constant feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach until the 40-point mark is reached.
- The second game of the season is a “six pointer” after a usually terrible first game.
- You’ve never made it to a european away ground because of the huge bender the day before.
- You buy the new kit EVERY season without fail, although there is usually very little difference.
- You automatically think that Carousel is a s*** piece of work merely because of the song You’ll Never Walk Alone.
- You bathe in turpentine after accidentally brushing a Liverpool jersey in the JJB Sports.
- You buy the DVD the day after you’ve beaten Liverpool.
- Everyone who graduates from the academy and scores a senior goal is “better than/the next Wayne Rooney” (delete as appropriate).
- Even the most fair decision in the other team’s favour results in a shout of “f*** off ref!”
- Nothing that happens in a reserve / ladies / youth game matters, only the first team results count for anything.
- You prepare for a party when a star name is linked to Everton.
- You were always the Blue Power Ranger in school.
- You think that Queen Elizabeth II is an Evertonian because she has “blue blood”.
- You only watch Match of the Day if they win or get a “good draw”.
- Your mood for the week after a match is dictated by the result.
- If bottom, you stand on your head so Everton are top of the table.
- Jimmy Tarbuck is a terrible comedian, but Leonard Rossiter is a genius.
- David Moyes “has to go” after every defeat.
- You fantasise about having a slim Graeme Sharp in his prime and a resurrected zombie-robot version of Dixie Dean upfront.

How many of these are true for you?

These.

 

[Elong]

You have Z cars played at your wedding! She still doesn't know yet!QUOTE]

Hahaha, defo this one!

 

[Ireallyhatether.s]

You have Z cars played at your wedding! She still doesn't know yet!

Everytime I go into a sports shop and see any type of Liverpool shirt I always put something else in front of it as I "tidy up the shop!"

always do this!

 

[everton4ever]

all of them except for getting rid of moysey went round hmv once to remove all of the rs own gbhs dvds

 

[little curly alan ball]

- You always hope the blue guy/girl wins on Gladiators.
- You won’t drink Carlsberg or red wine.
- You have a constant feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach until the 40-point mark is reached.
- The second game of the season is a “six pointer” after a usually terrible first game.
- You’ve never made it to a european away ground because of the huge bender the day before.
- You buy the new kit EVERY season without fail, although there is usually very little difference.
- You automatically think that Carousel is a s*** piece of work merely because of the song You’ll Never Walk Alone.
- You bathe in turpentine after accidentally brushing a Liverpool jersey in the JJB Sports.
- You buy the DVD the day after you’ve beaten Liverpool.
- Everyone who graduates from the academy and scores a senior goal is “better than/the next Wayne Rooney” (delete as appropriate).
- Even the most fair decision in the other team’s favour results in a shout of “f*** off ref!”
- Nothing that happens in a reserve / ladies / youth game matters, only the first team results count for anything.
- You prepare for a party when a star name is linked to Everton.
- You were always the Blue Power Ranger in school.
- You think that Queen Elizabeth II is an Evertonian because she has “blue blood”.
- You only watch Match of the Day if they win or get a “good draw”.
- Your mood for the week after a match is dictated by the result.
- If bottom, you stand on your head so Everton are top of the table.
- Jimmy Tarbuck is a terrible comedian, but Leonard Rossiter is a genius.
- David Moyes “has to go” after every defeat.
- You fantasise about having a slim Graeme Sharp in his prime and a resurrected zombie-robot version of Dixie Dean upfront.

How many of these are true for you?

- .... ( When You ,..) Live in Our House .

 

[RFUS]

I'll add one:

- you've told your girlfriend you wont marry her unless she gets you tickets for the Stoke game for your birthday.

Hahaha.

We have a winner. Assuming she does, anyway

 

[teppic]

i got 2.

Me too

 

[Summerskin]

You thought the title of this thread was the fifth installment in the Die Hard franchise.

ROFL.