You Know You're A Die Hard Evertonian When...

[Phil Neville Superstar]

- You always hope the blue guy/girl wins on Gladiators.
- You won’t drink Carlsberg or red wine.
- You have a constant feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach until the 40-point mark is reached.
- The second game of the season is a “six pointer” after a usually terrible first game.
- You’ve never made it to a european away ground because of the huge bender the day before.
- You buy the new kit EVERY season without fail, although there is usually very little difference.
- You automatically think that Carousel is a s*** piece of work merely because of the song You’ll Never Walk Alone.
- You bathe in turpentine after accidentally brushing a Liverpool jersey in the JJB Sports.
- You buy the DVD the day after you’ve beaten Liverpool.
- Everyone who graduates from the academy and scores a senior goal is “better than/the next Wayne Rooney” (delete as appropriate).
- Even the most fair decision in the other team’s favour results in a shout of “f*** off ref!”
- Nothing that happens in a reserve / ladies / youth game matters, only the first team results count for anything.
- You prepare for a party when a star name is linked to Everton.
- You were always the Blue Power Ranger in school.
- You think that Queen Elizabeth II is an Evertonian because she has “blue blood”.
- You only watch Match of the Day if they win or get a “good draw”.
- Your mood for the week after a match is dictated by the result.
- If bottom, you stand on your head so Everton are top of the table.
- Jimmy Tarbuck is a terrible comedian, but Leonard Rossiter is a genius.
- David Moyes “has to go” after every defeat.
- You fantasise about having a slim Graeme Sharp in his prime and a resurrected zombie-robot version of Dixie Dean upfront.

How many of these are true for you?

 

[chicoazul]

Five lad.

 

[Sharpys top lip]

- You always hope the blue guy/girl wins on Gladiators.
- You won’t drink Carlsberg or red wine.
- You have a constant feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach until the 40-point mark is reached.
- The second game of the season is a “six pointer” after a usually terrible first game.
- You’ve never made it to a european away ground because of the huge bender the day before.
- You buy the new kit EVERY season without fail, although there is usually very little difference.
- You automatically think that Carousel is a s*** piece of work merely because of the song You’ll Never Walk Alone.
- You bathe in turpentine after accidentally brushing a Liverpool jersey in the JJB Sports.
- You buy the DVD the day after you’ve beaten Liverpool.
- Everyone who graduates from the academy and scores a senior goal is “better than/the next Wayne Rooney” (delete as appropriate).
- Even the most fair decision in the other team’s favour results in a shout of “f*** off ref!”
- Nothing that happens in a reserve / ladies / youth game matters, only the first team results count for anything.
- You prepare for a party when a star name is linked to Everton.
- You were always the Blue Power Ranger in school.
- You think that Queen Elizabeth II is an Evertonian because she has “blue blood”.
- You only watch Match of the Day if they win or get a “good draw”.
- Your mood for the week after a match is dictated by the result.
- If bottom, you stand on your head so Everton are top of the table.
- Jimmy Tarbuck is a terrible comedian, but Leonard Rossiter is a genius.
- David Moyes “has to go” after every defeat.
- You fantasise about having a slim Graeme Sharp in his prime and a resurrected zombie-robot version of Dixie Dean upfront.

How many of these are true for you?

At that point, i got my nob out.....

 

[GhostOfDixie]

i got 2.

 

[RFUS]

- You always hope the blue guy/girl wins on Gladiators. Definitely. Unless they say they're doing it for their fiancee or something. That cheese don't fly.
- You won’t drink Carlsberg or red wine. They're both a bit rank anyway
- You have a constant feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach until the 40-point mark is reached. Not that pessimistic
- The second game of the season is a “six pointer” after a usually terrible first game. I am that quick to jump to pessimism though, haha
- You’ve never made it to a european away ground because of the huge bender the day before. Yeah, but not the kind of bender you're talking about
- You buy the new kit EVERY season without fail, although there is usually very little difference.They're never tight enough for my liking, although the new vanilla one is to die for. Check out sharpy modelling it in that other thread.
- You automatically think that Carousel is a s*** piece of work merely because of the song You’ll Never Walk Alone. Never heard of them, actually
- You bathe in turpentine after accidentally brushing a Liverpool jersey in the JJB Sports.I've not been in JJB sports for about 10 years
- You buy the DVD the day after you’ve beaten Liverpool. That's a bit sad tbh. I'd watch it on youtube about 35 times though...
- Everyone who graduates from the academy and scores a senior goal is “better than/the next Wayne Rooney” (delete as appropriate). That would be a bit harsh
- Even the most fair decision in the other team’s favour results in a shout of “f*** off ref!” So True :')
- Nothing that happens in a reserve / ladies / youth game matters, only the first team results count for anything. BULL! The Ladies made me realise that womens' football is the most important. Because in that we're ace.
- You prepare for a party when a star name is linked to Everton. I just roll my eyes tbh
- You were always the Blue Power Ranger in school. I was the white one actually -- he was dead special. Or the green one... he might have been even better
- You think that Queen Elizabeth II is an Evertonian because she has “blue blood”. Do we have German fans?
- You only watch Match of the Day if they win or get a “good draw”. I watch it, just skip Everton. In other words I close my eyes for the 12 seconds coverage we get.
- Your mood for the week after a match is dictated by the result. Bingo. It's a [Poor language removed] of a rollercoaster, eh?
- If bottom, you stand on your head so Everton are top of the table. GENIUS
- Jimmy Tarbuck is a terrible comedian, but Leonard Rossiter is a genius. Jimmy who?
- David Moyes “has to go” after every defeat. GET JOL IN
- You fantasise about having a slim Graeme Sharp in his prime and a resurrected zombie-robot version of Dixie Dean upfront. Why would you need to enhance Dean with robot bits? You don't change perfection.

How many of these are true for you?

A few, I guess then. Mainly not though.

 

[Lynne x]

most of them, plus

I wont wear red clothes
I wont get in a red car xx

 

[bluebloodinmyveins]

most of them, plus

I wont wear red clothes
I wont get in a red car xx

THIS.

I am addicted to trainers as most of you know. BUT i wont buy them if there is red in them.
Only red thing i own is a St Louis Cardinal hat that was bought to me by a friend who died.

 

[Phil Neville Superstar]

I didn't make these up by the way, copied and pasted it from a website.

I got 8.

 

[SLAVEN BILIC]

dont wear red, won't go in me arl fellas front room (filled with red shitty stuff), wouldn't shag a girl who supported liverpool regardless of how fit she was (true story, anything can happen in the kraxyhouse)

 

[Phil Neville Superstar]

dont wear red, won't go in me arl fellas front room (filled with red shitty stuff), wouldn't shag a girl who supported liverpool regardless of how fit she was (true story, anything can happen in the kraxyhouse)

Ridiculous that. Most women don't evens support them, just favour them over Everton because of their family.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

MY mate (who's a manc) blagged a bird round here, and while he was at it he kept spitting on her arse, she said "keep spitting on my arse I like it". his reply was that he was gobbin' on her liverbird tattoo as it was the only way he could stop it from puttin' him off. She grabbed her crutches and left.

 

[coyney]

- You always hope the blue guy/girl wins on Gladiators.
- You won’t drink Carlsberg or red wine.
- You have a constant feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach until the 40-point mark is reached.
- The second game of the season is a “six pointer” after a usually terrible first game.
- You’ve never made it to a european away ground because of the huge bender the day before.
- You buy the new kit EVERY season without fail, although there is usually very little difference.
- You automatically think that Carousel is a s*** piece of work merely because of the song You’ll Never Walk Alone.
- You bathe in turpentine after accidentally brushing a Liverpool jersey in the JJB Sports.
- You buy the DVD the day after you’ve beaten Liverpool.
- Everyone who graduates from the academy and scores a senior goal is “better than/the next Wayne Rooney” (delete as appropriate).
- Even the most fair decision in the other team’s favour results in a shout of “f*** off ref!”
- Nothing that happens in a reserve / ladies / youth game matters, only the first team results count for anything.
- You prepare for a party when a star name is linked to Everton.
- You were always the Blue Power Ranger in school.
- You think that Queen Elizabeth II is an Evertonian because she has “blue blood”.
- You only watch Match of the Day if they win or get a “good draw”.
- Your mood for the week after a match is dictated by the result.
- If bottom, you stand on your head so Everton are top of the table.
- Jimmy Tarbuck is a terrible comedian, but Leonard Rossiter is a genius.
- David Moyes “has to go” after every defeat.
- You fantasise about having a slim Graeme Sharp in his prime and a resurrected zombie-robot version of Dixie Dean upfront.

How many of these are true for you?

To close to it ,just add sky+ plus every game but never watch it if we get beat.and the wife says for god sake your a pensioner my reply wtf has that gotv to do with it.

 

[coyney]

MY mate (who's a manc) blagged a bird round here, and while he was at it he kept spitting on her arse, she said "keep spitting on my arse I like it". his reply was that he was gobbin' on her liverbird tattoo as it was the only way he could stop it from puttin' him off. She grabbed her crutches and left.

Did she take his white stick aswell

 

[spikeman]

I don't get the "I won't wear red" tbh. I don't mind wearing red cause other sports teams I support have red or a shade of red as their main color.

 

[TX Bill]

I try not to wear red.

On the other hand, I'm always wearing something with "Everton" on it.