I've been going to every game, home and away since 1878, even the cancelled games I would sit there alone in the stands, imagining how the game would have panned out, sometimes I imagined on the run as security came after me, sometimes I would just sit and cry at how amazing Everton are.
I went to every training match home and abroad and every friendly we have ever played including the behind closed doors ones, as you can imagine, have been around since 1878, I am approaching my twilight years so possibly won't have many games left, possibly only a decade or two more, but the footballs a bit naff lately so I probably won't go till it gets better.
ffs!!
Man up, stop dribbling into your cornflakes and get to the game yer soft get.
Due to obvious issues regarding memory etc that are down to being well into my second century, not all facts above are 100% accurate.
For example I am a 42 year old wool without a season ticket, but these facts do not detract from the main point, whatever that may be.