Clarky cat
Player Valuation: £35m
Get yourself one of Gwyneth Paltrow‘s minge candles. Light it, put a tea towel over your head and gently, but safely, hover over it while stripped to the waist. A clunge bong is far better for your lungs and anecdotal repertoire, your hands are also free to engage in multiple favourite hobbies.
	
		
			
		
		
	
				
			
			
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