Useless things to say

[Tree13]

When somebody announces they've booked, or have just been on, a holiday - there's always one dullard who asks: "Did you go / are you going anywhere nice?"

As if people periodically think to themselves "That ten days I had in the Seychelles last year was lovely, all that sunbathing and the beautiful beaches - I'd best balance out this year and go to Syria. Don't want to risk enjoying myself again."

 

[Milk]

"Evening Toffees"

"First"

 

[Librarian]

I do

 

[roydo]

"And now over to Garth Crooks for his analysis of the match"

 

[Moggers]

"Before I pull away from this dark lay-by/car park... I was just checking if me lights were working by flashing them numerous times officer..."

 

[Groucho]

Needless to say..... (and then you say what is needless to say even though you just said it is needless to say)

 

[Efcbradley89]

"We need to talk about the birds and the bee's". What? What the hell have they got to do with sex?

 

[Groucho]

"There's no such word as 'can't'"

I beg to differ.

 

[tonyhorne]

No offence, but [something very offensive]......

 

[paultheblue]

When you've lost something and someone asks "do you know where you lost it?"

Or
" Do you remember where you were what you last had it ? "

 

[Professor Toffee]

Somebody should do something

 

[Furey1878]

"Turn" - To any Everton player.

 

[Librarian]

'We're pregnant'

WHAT, no you're not. there's no WE, one of you are having a Baby and the other is an interested but largely useless bystander

 

[roydo]

"Arsen, did you see the incident when Wilshire chopped the legs off the West Ham player?"

 

[Professor Toffee]

There's no I in team. There's no u in team either!