Way up north there was this fella... fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Tony Hibbert. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. Mr. Hibbert, he called himself "Hibbertinho". Now, "Hibbertinho" - that's a name no one would self-apply where I come from.
But then there was a lot about Hibbertinho that didn't make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place so darned interestin'. They call Liverpool the "The Pool of Life." I didn't find it to be that, exactly. But I'll allow there are some nice folks there. 'Course I can't say I've seen London, and I ain't never been to France. And I ain't never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says.
But I'll tell you what - after seeing Liverpool, and this here story I'm about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin' every bit as stupefyin' as you'd see in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin' like the good Lord gypped me. Now this here story I'm about to unfold took place back in the early 2000s - just about the time of our conflict with Osama and the Al Quedas.
I only mention it because sometimes there's a man... I won't say a hero, 'cause, what's a hero? But sometimes, there's a man. And I'm talkin' about Hibbertinho here. Sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's Hibbertinho, in Liverpool. And even if he's a lazy man - and the Hibbertinho was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in Merseyside County, which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide.
But sometimes there's a man, sometimes, there's a man. Aw. I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. I've done introduced him enough.