The Late Show...With Your Host, Cena

[Groucho]

Ready?

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, 'no, the steaks are too high'

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.
He was pulled in by a strong currant.

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.

A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

 

[chrissyjack]

I went to buy a new watch . The bloke said " Analogue ?" ..I replied, " No. Just a watch "

 

[Deleted member 28206]

*groans

 

[chrissyjack]

My opening joke wasn't too bad.....surely

 

[Groucho]

My opening joke wasn't too bad.....surely

No worries mate, mine were terrible.

 

[chrissyjack]

The old ones are the best. So bad they're good

 

[Cena]

Hazard - Yewtree him

 

[chrissyjack]

Grouch has just messaged me a joke. It's a good job I don't give out neg reps

 

[BlueLlama]

Hazard - Yewtree him

That was child abiuse mate - he is a wrong un and no mistake. He is pure Yewtree.

 

[Cena]

That was child abiuse mate - he is a wrong un and no mistake. He is pure Yewtree.

Hahaha

 

[Degs62]

Morning all, bored here.

 

[icburns]

 

[micknick]

There is not many better things in life than getting your haircut by a fit female barber

How about having sex with her?

 

[micknick]

Just drove past Villa Park- there was a guy tying his season ticket to a pole outside the ground where the directors walk in. I thought bugger it I'll have that so pulled over. You never f**king know when you'll need a piece of string.

 

[Roztitute]

Just drove past Villa Park- there was a guy tying his season ticket to a pole outside the ground where the directors walk in. I thought bugger it I'll have that so pulled over. You never f**king know when you'll need a piece of string.

Ha brillant!