BigBlueConk
Player Valuation: £70m
This team is made to smash any other team.
Let me explain why these players have made the starting eleven.
1. IJJY is the Goalkeeper. Why? Because he is a goalkeeper and every time I post this on sensible match day threads, we never lose. This is FACT.
Also, IJJY has beautiful cats. They train him.
IJJY just edged out non-league Anybody, who according to some match day posters, Anybody is better than Tim Howard.
2. BBC is right back. Why? I have not scored a league goal for 27 years and its my team. The Tony Hibbert of the team you might say.
3. Chicoazul
3. Moutsgoat
These two are in to help unbalance the side. Mentally, as much positionally. They like tight marking. Very tight. They must raid up and down the flank, but always be within touching distance of each other.
Both left back, usually in a locked changing room. Glory holes are available for hire.
If European fair-weight rules ever kick in, we might have to drop MG or play with 8 men.
4. Bryan is the midfield enforcer. Bryan does not do any running. He just stands with a notepad and notes the names and numbers of any opponent who dare to run past him. These players might make it to the end of the match, they will never make it to starting the next one. Don't mess with Bryan.
5. Bruce Wayne is perhaps an odd choice for centre back. The man is all skin and bone and needs a sandwich. However, he is the DEFENDER of the faith, the righteous, of Everton. This man can get on his bike when required. A great asset.
6. Groucho is another great DEFENDER of the GOT principles and a grand master of the school of science. However, far more importantly the man is a chick magnet and all teams need a chick magnet. Played Groucho.
8. GrandOldTeam is in almost by default. Being the boss helps. He has a great technical knowledge of the game and is theoretically sound. However, his legs have gone since getting the new server. The Gareth Barry of the team perhaps. Will always be there to provide an alibi for Bryan.
7. EFCNIK has to be right wing. No other place for him. He also has the unusual role of secret snide. His job on the right wing is to moan about all his team mates, the opposition, the ref, the entire coaching staff, the fans. He must not stop moaning for the entire match. Similar to Graeme Sharp, but much posher. Actually, only in the side as he posted pictures of cats.
10. ReidysBottleofGrecian. Every team needs a player with a ridiculously long name to increase sales on shirt name printing. However, Reidy is also possibly the missing link. Though giving the impression that he is linking play with the front man, he is actually busy talking to his team mates about the great side of the 80's.
9. DaveK is perhaps the shock choice to lead the line. This man has the drive and desire to drag this team back to the top, despite 25 years of adversity. A realist, and always the first to acknowledge when the team wins games by accident. Also, not scared to take on the board and discuss missed opportunities. Only as good as his last game.
A subs bench full of Chico alias's.
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