Oh foul and wretched behavior, thou art a stain upon the noble name of Everton! Thy actions, like a tempest in a teapot, cause turmoil and distress to all who bear witness. Thy rowdy behavior, like the roar of a beast, doth shake the foundations of decency and sportsmanship. Thy drunken revels, like a raging fire, spread destruction and chaos, leaving a trail of shame and ignominy in thy wake. Verily, thou art a disgrace to the club and its faithful supporters, and I pray that thou mayest repent and reform thy ways, lest thy misdeeds bring eternal infamy upon thee.