the eccentric(knob'ed) at work

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

we've all worked with one, an absolute belter, complete and utter tit, usually you encounter their strange behaviour at brewtime in the canteen or sometimes you're just unfortunate enough to work alongside them. you know the one, he/she just drove you almost to insanity with their "quirky idiosyncracies".

i myself have worked with some completely "off the wall" characters in fact off the planet in some cases.

there's the totally dedicated type that drives you round the bend, i worked in engineering for 20 years and you get the types that have a lathe at home and that, for me it was just a job, but they live and breathe tolerances and interference fits, suppose they are made up cos they are getting paid for doing their hobby. one guy made a robot and went on robot wars, it got smashed to smithereens in about 5 secs flat.

they are not the types i mean though, i mean full blown losing the plot people. there was a guy in N.Z. who only worked the night shift, he would do 4p.m./6a.m. 6 nights a week, he was about 55, lived with his elderly mum, no kids or wife, tons of cash but never spent any cos he was always at work. this guy should have been taken away in a straight jacket cos he was a loony, but stick him in front of any machine and he could do it all on auto pilot.
he only complimented another guy though, a makem, came from roker st. and lived about 3 doors from roker park, the guy was just one of those people that everything he did wound someone up. he'd rip a 1/2 chicken to shreds during "smoko" but would snap bones and suck out marrow, slurping and slobering, while your trying to eat theres not many things worse tbh a samoan guy sat down 1 night and he pulled out a "1/2 chuck", the samoan guy lost it and laid down the law, "one fackin noise from them bones and i'll be fackin cranchin yours eh" he was one dirty get. so as my contribution to work knob'ed i give you

"the messy dirty [Poor language removed] eater that puts you off your scran"

there were quite a few contractors in holland that lost the plot but thats for another post.

 

[Goat]

My ex boss was ex-army, complete and utter cnut.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

bosses always are, i am and i work for myself in charge of me. lazy [Poor language removed] my boss.

 

[McBain]

I worked at Woolies in the middle of the City (Sydney) around 10 years ago and there were some characters there.

There was a mental guy who used to work in Dairy and he used to go round saying "Im gunna shoot you with an elephant gun". Nicky T was his name and pre semptember 11 you could go around saying that kind of stuff.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

I worked at Woolies in the middle of the City (Sydney) around 10 years ago and there were some characters there.

There was a mental guy who used to work in Dairy and he used to go round saying "Im gunna shoot you with an elephant gun". Nicky T was his name and pre semptember 11 you could go around saying that kind of stuff.

loads of the backpackers used to work there too. i never but i did removals in the city on saturdays, met some characters doing that but doing the fencing we worked at an old paint factory right on the paramatta river, they were cleaning all of the land as they used to make red-lead paint there. there were just a few maintenance guys left and charge-hands etc a little italian guy said to me which part of scotland did i come from, so i said between l'pool and manchester, why which part of greece was he from athens or the north he said i'm italian, and this big aussie bloke who he'd worked with for 40 odd years said "it's all the fackin same, yer ... ....". i was instantly awarded cult status and given free reign in canteen and friday afternoon bbq.

by that i mean everything for free. arrive 7 am full(and i mean full) brecky at 8, 12.00 2 courses (always delicious), thirsty ? free drinks m/c's all around the place. the bbq, everything basically and piss too. great place.

 

[Slight_Return]

The education of the workplace. stunning.

I worked in a restaurant once upon a time, and there was a part time head chef that was one of the biggest fucktars ever to soil the earth, anyway, he would regularly talk about how many women he had supposedly bummed - and the story would always end the same "the room stunk of [Poor language removed]!"

What an absolute cock piece he was, I only hope he has snorted a line of strichnine now, for the good of humanity. All other employees at that business were sound by comparisson (not that that is any accolaid) except for the owner, but that guy was on another plane altogether.

As much of a [Poor language removed] work is, it is occasionally ok because of the people there and some of the enlightenments shared.

 

[Slight_Return]

The education of the workplace. stunning.

I worked in a restaurant once upon a time, and there was a part time head chef that was one of the biggest fucktars ever to soil the earth, anyway, he would regularly talk about how many women he had supposedly bummed - and the story would always end the same "the room stunk of [Poor language removed]!"

What an absolute cock piece he was, I only hope he has snorted a line of strichnine now, for the good of humanity. All other employees at that business were sound by comparisson (not that that is any accolaid) except for the owner, but that guy was on another plane altogether.

As much of a [Poor language removed] work is, it is occasionally ok because of the people there and some of the enlightenments shared.

 

[trebilcock66]

I had a saturday job at the big Makro place in Eccles in the seventies when I was doing my A levels. There was a little scouser named Lenihan who, whatever you were talking about would reply in a loud voice: "Yeah!! and that's [your name] out the window!!" then he'd crack up laughing at his own joke (or what he thought was a joke). What a prize idiot. I was ashamed to be from Liverpool...

Much sadder was many years later when I was contracted at oracle in Reading, a middle-aged, overweight guy I worked with stared dumbly at his computer screen all day. I once asked him at 5.00 on a friday 'Any plans for the evening, Maurice?' His reply was whispered and unsmiling: 'going home to get pissed..'

 

[Sharpys top lip]

The education of the workplace. stunning.

I worked in a restaurant once upon a time, and there was a part time head chef that was one of the biggest fucktars ever to soil the earth, anyway, he would regularly talk about how many women he had supposedly bummed - and the story would always end the same "the room stunk of [Poor language removed]!"

What an absolute cock piece he was, I only hope he has snorted a line of strichnine now, for the good of humanity. All other employees at that business were sound by comparisson (not that that is any accolaid) except for the owner, but that guy was on another plane altogether.

As much of a [Poor language removed] work is, it is occasionally ok because of the people there and some of the enlightenments shared.

Im sorry, but thats just funny!!

 

[Whitebootman]

I worked with a bloke in the post office about 20 years ago. Everyone would be sorting letters, he had to be fastest, always telling everyone how fast he could sort. To wind him up we'd just sort as fast as we could go, silly sod used to take his shirt off to work faster. When he still couldn't keep up he used to head butt the sorting frames to make them stay still. He's probably a manager by now.

 

[coyney]

I had a mate that was normal until the fatal day they put him in charge for a week.everyday we went to the pub at lunch and took it in turns to go back and clock every one on for the afternoon so the rest could have a couple more drinks then sneak back in,now bear in mind we had been doing it for over TWO years any how when the time come to go back to work he said come on lads while I'm in charge I want you all back on time so we laughed thinking he was joking.when we got back the guy who s turn it had been to clock us all on was in the office with the big boss and as we all sneaked in one at a time we where sent to the office when we had all arrived we were told that we were suspended for the week and the guy who had clocked us all in was sacked.any how it appears our own mate had informed management.so that night I'm at home and he comes round to say no hard feelings I was only doing my job,we had been work mates for over 6 years my Mrs stopped my from killing him.when we where back at work and every one blanked him he honestly thought he was poorly treated prick saw him last week crossing the road and still had the urge to speed up.

 

[Vim Fuego]

I hit my former boss,needless to say i was dismissed and charged with assault by the police.

It felt good at the time.

 

[Seamus Colemole]

One guy i work with at the moment shouts out "Sykes" at random regulary throughout the day.

Why i have no idea and i'm too scared to ask.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

I hit my former boss,needless to say i was dismissed and charged with assault by the police.

It felt good at the time.

what being charged felt good, whats the name for that type of kink?

 

[tezzathelezza]

I have worked with a good few belters. Honestly, i could go on about all there antics for ages, but i cannot be arsed devoting any more of my time than is nessecary. But, here is a little snippit about one of my ex bosses.

Many years ago, I use to work as an aircraft electrican. When our jet was late landing, all the other service crew pissed off for some scran, and as i was still slightly hungover, is never went to the canteen. So, anyway., I see out jet comin into land, it makes the inter-section in the middle of the runway and turns off, thus cuttin a good ten mins from arrival time.

So in a blind panic, i grabbed the tractor keys, ran down stairs, hooked up a set of steps and was about to set off down the taxi way when my boss knock on the cab window. "you got a licence for this? hasn't it expired?" i said it had ran out. "ok, dont let anyone catch you tho!". sound, not a problem. i trots off down the taxi way, jumps out, marshells the plane to a stop, put the steps on the aircraft so the passengers can get off, then a tap on my shoulder....... My boss again

"WHAT HAVE I JUST TOLD YOU??" not to get caught. "AND WHAT HAVE I JUST DONE??" erm...caught me?? "CORRECT!!, MY OFFICE 10 MINS!! What an absolute cu*t.

Ended up gettin banned from worldwide breakdowns for 6 months cos of that spineless tosser.

And the top brass wondered why i never wanted to sign his get well card when he was on deaths door after his liver burst or somthin. Followed by "I hope the cu*t dies".

Harsh...But fair