Tell me a story...
- Thread starter neonleon
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D
Deleted member 28206
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I once had the chance for a threesome.
I got stage fright, and just watched.
True story.
I got stage fright, and just watched.
True story.
Seamus Colemole
Previously deathbyropeandglass
You watched two men have sex?
D
Deleted member 28206
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RFUS
Anustart
Yeah but Chico is very feminine, to be fair.
neonleon
Player Valuation: £35m
That's a start. But it's more of a synopsis. Give us all the details.
Once upon a time there Bryan and two girls were drinking Cinzano in Sefton Park and one of the girls said: Let's do it.
Come on Bryan spin the yarn.
D
Deleted member 28206
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okay, one summers weekend, following the ingestion of various substances, both legal and illegal i found myself in the company of two young women, both lean and mean, and up for a cuddle, i found myself in the middle of this, but due to my chemical imbalance found myself unable to partake in the fun.
so, we all ended up playing scrabble.
I was waiting patiently to cross a busy road in town, casually scratching myself, as I noticed a woman approaching to my left. Business type, late 40s, quite hot. I certainly would have anyway, but that's probably not saying much.
Anyway, as she was chattering away on her iPhone it became apparent that she was oblivious to the traffic on the road a few feet in front of her. She stepped out right in front of me and, more importantly, in front of a large Eddie Stobart / Tesco truck. Instinctively I just grabbed her shoulders and yanked her back as the van whooshed past us, horns blaring away.
She looked at me flustered and confused, even apologetic before eventually thanking me, but I - I'm not sure why I did this - I just took out my phone and held the screen up to my mouth and - sounding as official as possible - whispered "Mission accomplished. Target 17 is safe."
She looked up at me wide eyed, "What....What do you mean?"
"Do you have a grandson?" I asked her.
"Umm... no. No I don't" she stuttered,
"You will do" I answered, turning to leave "And he's going to be very important."
I walked quickly away grinning to myself, I could hear her behind me asking me what I meant, but I just kept on walking.
Anyway, as she was chattering away on her iPhone it became apparent that she was oblivious to the traffic on the road a few feet in front of her. She stepped out right in front of me and, more importantly, in front of a large Eddie Stobart / Tesco truck. Instinctively I just grabbed her shoulders and yanked her back as the van whooshed past us, horns blaring away.
She looked at me flustered and confused, even apologetic before eventually thanking me, but I - I'm not sure why I did this - I just took out my phone and held the screen up to my mouth and - sounding as official as possible - whispered "Mission accomplished. Target 17 is safe."
She looked up at me wide eyed, "What....What do you mean?"
"Do you have a grandson?" I asked her.
"Umm... no. No I don't" she stuttered,
"You will do" I answered, turning to leave "And he's going to be very important."
I walked quickly away grinning to myself, I could hear her behind me asking me what I meant, but I just kept on walking.
Mate heartbreaking, You're the Ronnie Rosenthal of the sex world
neonleon
Player Valuation: £35m
Best post ever. Loving it.
neonleon
Player Valuation: £35m
Still you managed to get an eight letter word on a triple word score when you added o t e n t onto imp.
little curly alan ball
Player Valuation: £70m
Went to Fulham , couple of Years ago . On Train on way home this 6ft plus Model , comes and sits at me table - LOADS of Room , btw ...
Anyway , we gets talkin' , she says shes been on a Shoot . Pulls out a Mag from Bag , there is the same Chick' - Kinda FINE , in a Spread , Pics taken by , Bryan - Robin Hood Song - Adams ...
We had a LAUGH !!!
We swapped numbers .
I lost hers .
True story ...
Muggins
Player Valuation: £60m
Muggins ere was driving home one evening, the rain hammering down and the road not that well lit.
Then 3-2-1 SMASH!!!!*
Some suicidal lid had had a barney with his missus and jump out into the road, obliterating my windscreen and roof. The bad tit went over the top of my car, and as I looked into rear view mirror i saw him land in a lump.
I was confused and couldn't stop saying WTF!!!
There was no way he was running across the road and I knocked him down, he ran at me thru some bushes and jumped head on.
Some how he only had a cut leg, and was promptly nicked by the busy's for vandalism to my car.
Had to claim on my insurance and stump up the £250 excess.
Couldn't be arsed taking him to court for the £250 back, so took it on the chin as a close call, and went the match the next day.
Then 3-2-1 SMASH!!!!*
Some suicidal lid had had a barney with his missus and jump out into the road, obliterating my windscreen and roof. The bad tit went over the top of my car, and as I looked into rear view mirror i saw him land in a lump.
I was confused and couldn't stop saying WTF!!!
There was no way he was running across the road and I knocked him down, he ran at me thru some bushes and jumped head on.
Some how he only had a cut leg, and was promptly nicked by the busy's for vandalism to my car.
Had to claim on my insurance and stump up the £250 excess.
Couldn't be arsed taking him to court for the £250 back, so took it on the chin as a close call, and went the match the next day.
D
Deleted member 28206
Guest
Jamo Martinez
Player Valuation: £70m
He walked into the dimly lit room. The lady probably thought it was seductive having the lights so low, but when he cracked his shin on the coffee table all thoughts of fun and filth were off. He yelped with pain and staggered to the couch while simultaneously sending the forum's swear filter into overdrive. ''you got scotch, lady?'' asked Harry, wincing and rubbing his sore shin. ''sure'', she replied ''do you want ice with it?''
''Sounds good'' said Harry. She handed him tumbler of Johnny Walker on the rocks and let her finger linger on his a moment longer than normal. She was wearing a pink Lacoste sleeveless dress that showed off her shape nicely. The long smooth legs seemed to go on forever. But they didnt really. It was however, hard to tell where they ended, and where that marvelous bum started. He'd find out later, he figured. She started turning on all those moves that seem to come so natural to that kind of woman. Yes, you know the kind. The kind that makes a man feel like a boy and a boy feel like he's been run over by a freight train. She smiled provocatively again, and ran a painted finger nail over the stubble along her jaw line, her gleaming white teeth.....
Harry shook himself and tried to contain his racing pulse. He couldn't go on like this. Lately, every red blooded hetrosexual fantasy he'd tried to indulge in, had been invaded by images of Johnnydawg68. He needed help. That was obvious. But where to turn. It was then that he remembered the card in his pocket. The stocky lad with the enigmatic grin and a half eaten pastie in the other hand had given it to him as he was coming out of the Everton shop. He read the blue printed words and had the sudden feeling that he was not alone. The card read simply Need help - Call The Clique
''Sounds good'' said Harry. She handed him tumbler of Johnny Walker on the rocks and let her finger linger on his a moment longer than normal. She was wearing a pink Lacoste sleeveless dress that showed off her shape nicely. The long smooth legs seemed to go on forever. But they didnt really. It was however, hard to tell where they ended, and where that marvelous bum started. He'd find out later, he figured. She started turning on all those moves that seem to come so natural to that kind of woman. Yes, you know the kind. The kind that makes a man feel like a boy and a boy feel like he's been run over by a freight train. She smiled provocatively again, and ran a painted finger nail over the stubble along her jaw line, her gleaming white teeth.....
Harry shook himself and tried to contain his racing pulse. He couldn't go on like this. Lately, every red blooded hetrosexual fantasy he'd tried to indulge in, had been invaded by images of Johnnydawg68. He needed help. That was obvious. But where to turn. It was then that he remembered the card in his pocket. The stocky lad with the enigmatic grin and a half eaten pastie in the other hand had given it to him as he was coming out of the Everton shop. He read the blue printed words and had the sudden feeling that he was not alone. The card read simply Need help - Call The Clique
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