Not Safe For Work! Spurty's Newsround

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Plymouth mum with hairy Lidl turnip is living in fear of spiders

By Plymouth Herald | Posted: January 09, 2016
By CHIARA GIORDANO Herald Reporter @cfgiordano

Lisa Andrews, pictured, is living in fear of spiders after finding a mysterious hole in her turnip purchased at a Lidl supermarket, in Plymouth.



A PLYMOUTH mother is living in fear of a spider after finding a mysterious hole in her turnip.
Lisa Anderson, aged 37, says she was left "in a state of shock" after her partner cut into the vegetable and found what she believed was a spider's web and eggs.
The mother-of-five, from Honicknowle, purchased the turnip at Lidl, in Transit Way, earlier today along with other vegetables, including a bag of potatoes and carrots.
She says it was the first time she had shopped at the supermarket and that she is now scared there are venomous spiders in her home.
Speaking to The Herald, she said: "I'm not sure if it's come over from another country or if it was grown in the UK so we're scared in case it's venomous.
"I don't want a venomous spider running around.
"We're all scared of spiders and my son just went mental."
Ms Andrews admitted that her family did not actually see a spider – but said that she believed there were spider webs and eggs "like something from a film".
She said: "We didn't want to disturb it or anything and I told my partner to just put it back together and in a carrier bag.
"I couldn't open the bag of potatoes or carrots that we bought because I was just afraid that there were going to be spiders.
"It put us off our meal."
She added: "I just want people to be made aware."
A spokesman for Lidl said that the company is investigating the "isolated incident".
He said: "We have thorough procedures in place to ensure that the products available in our stores are of the highest possible quality for our customers.
"We require our suppliers to adhere to the specifications we outline in our contracts and to meet the exacting high standards we set.
"We can reassure our customers that this is an isolated incident and that we are currently investigating the matter with the supplier as a matter of urgency.
"We will directly communicate with the customer and sincerely apologise to them for any distress or upset caused."





I think I would be put off by her hairy Lidl turnip as well.

With a scowl like that, it's no wonder her hairy Lidl turnip has cobwebs.

 

[SpurtingLesbian]

 

[SpurtingLesbian]

http://metro.co.uk/2016/01/11/bizar...ace-after-noise-like-thunder-overhead-5616111

Bizarre metal balls fall from space after ‘noise like thunder’ overhead

The balls (Picture UFO Sightings Daily)​

Two ‘bizarre objects’ fell from the sky over Thailand – giant metal orbs which UFO fans think could be alien drones.
One fell on remote land in Tuyen Quang Province, and a smaller orb fell on a garden in Yen Bai Province.
One local witness told Thanh Nien ,’The sky was clear, suddenly we heard a thunder-like noise.’
Scott Waring of UFO Sightings Daily said, ‘These unknown objects could be fuel tanks for rockets or satellites, but honestly, they don’t stay in the hands of the public long enough to do any tests to confirm it.
‘They could be alien drones, or parts of damaged alien structures in space. There are a lot of possibilities.
Similar metal orbs have fallen over Australia and Europe in recent years – with a crop of mysterious metal balls found in Spain last year.
The objects weigh about 100lb each – and defence officials say that they are compressed-air tanks from an aircraft or rocket and were probably manufactured in Russia.
Aerospace expert Prof Nguyen Khoa Son says that the objects may come from a satellite – either from a failed launch, or from an old satellite which failed to burn up in Earth’s atmosphere.

 

[silent bob]

Er...what???

 

[SpurtingLesbian]

Crime-Fighting Robots Now Patrolling The Streets Of California​

BY KAVITA IYER ON JANUARY 9, 2016TECHNOLOGY


Silicon Valley Deploys Crime-Fighting Robots To Patrol The Streets Day and Night

In the latest development from Silicon Valley, a Palo Alto startup called Knightscope has developed a fleet of crime-fighting machinery for a safer tomorrow.

The Knightscope K5 Security Robot has begun patrolling the streets to fight crime, and these robots have the capability to see, hear, feel and smell. These robots are cute and inviting to the public. “We’ve had people go up and hug it, and embrace it for whatever reason,” said Stacy Stephens, co-founder of the borderline cartoonishly named Knightscope.

“The first thing that’s going to happen is the burglar is going to spot the robot. And unfortunately, criminals are inherently lazy. They’re not looking for something that’s going to be confrontational, they’re looking for something that’s going to be an easy target,” Stacy Stephens told CBS San Francisco.

“They see the robot and maybe they move down to the next place down the street,” she added.

These five-foot-tall, 300-pound security bots’ control and movements are based on the same technology that power the new Google Self-Driving cars. The K5 collects important real-time and on-site data through its numerous sensors, which is then processed through a predictive analytics engine. The data is then combined with existing business, government, and crowdsourced social data sets to determine if there is a concern or threat in the area. If so, an report is created with an appropriate alert level and a notification is sent to the community and authorities through the Knightscope Security Operations Center (KSOC), a browser based user interface.

The units upload what they see to a backend security network using 360-degree high-definition and low-light infrared cameras. The security bots also have a built-in microphone can be used to communicate with passers bys. The units monitor for various “crime triggers” within a predefined parameter including the sounds of breaking glass or shouting etc. Once it is triggered, the bot then captures geo-tags, photos, video, nearby license plates, facial recognition, timestamps etc. which can help in solving a crime that was committed.

Malls and office buildings are also starting to employ the K5 units as security assistants. Last summer, 24 of these security minders have been deployed around Silicon Valley on corporate campuses and in data centers, and in one highly publicized event last May, two K5s patrolled the Stanford Shopping Center. The K5 is looking for mall cops or at least to act as an assistant mall cop.

In order to prevent crime by using robots, CEO Stacey Dean Stephens, a former law enforcement agent, came up with the idea to construct a predictive network. So far, he and his co-founder William Li have raised close to $12 million in funding from Konica Minolta and others to build on this idea.

While Knightscope doesn’t think its robots will replace mall cops or security guards in the near future, the company does see them as assistants to human security teams.

The startup currently rents K5 through Knightscope’s website. The pricing model is also expressed as follows:

“For your reference, we operate on a Machine-as-a-Service (MaaS) business model and our preliminary pricing for a well-equipped machine is $4,500 per month for 24/7 operations equating to approximately $6.25 per hour (!).”

For teenagers and other bullies out there who wish to kick or push these robots need to be cautious, as they may be shocked to find these robots can talk back to them, capture their behaviour on film and notify authorities about their misdeeds.

 

[summerisle]

 

[summerisle]

 

[SpurtingLesbian]

Ahhh Glasgae, How I love thee....

http://www.eveningtimes.co.uk/news/...sgow_with_WINE_replacing_water_at_rest_stops/

Grape Scottish Run: 10k run coming to Glasgow with WINE replacing water at rest stops

IT'S the news all reluctant runners have been waiting for.
Glasgow is to host a new 10k race this Autumn with a novel incentive to help entrants get round the course.
Instead of water at the rest stops, runners, walkers or crawlers will be offered wine.
Organisers of the 'Wineatholon' have pledged to "put the fun back into run" saying their version of energy drinks come in "red white and rose."
Hundreds of people have already entered the race, on September 24, ahead of the route being finalised.
It is described as an "easy trail" and every 2-mile stop will be based around a different wine region of the world. The organisers TeamOA say every bottle of wine will cost a minimum of £7.50 and will be available to buy at the end of the race.
Previous races have been held south of the border in Yorkshire and Huddersfield where 3000 runners enjoyed a tipple. Just don't expect any record-breaking times.
The fastest time for the 2014 Yorkshire event was 1 hour and 8 minutes with some "wineatheletes" enjoying a leisurely 4-hour race.
Due to the availability of alcohol the event is only open to people over the age of 18 and organisers said ID may be requested.
A single sample of wine will be available for each competitor and anyone who tries to steal an extra drink will be sent on their way.
Perhaps not surprisingly race-goers must agree to a lengthy disclaimer before taking part.
Wane Law, Managing Director of TeamOA, said: "We want to put the fun back into running and prove that you don't have to be an elite race snake.
"We've run previous events and the people who are doing the races are not diehard runners, it's people bringing picnic blankets and making a day of it.
"We are capping entries at 600 this year to ensure we can run a safe event and it means people will be desperate to take part next year."
A local charity will be chosen to benefit for the event and runners are being encouraged to raise as much as possible.Prizes will be offered for 1st, 2nd and 3rd place and best fancy dress.
And for runners with a sweet tooth the company also runs a 'chocolat-on'.

 

[SpurtingLesbian]

My Son Doesn’t Want To Cuddle Anymore So I Knit A Cuddly Version Of Him

2 days ago by Club Geluk

My son is reaching puberty. We used to cuddle all the time, but those days are becoming scarce. Now he rather hangs with friends, plays with his phone and listens to his ipod. Exactly according to nature’s plan. I am a good mother, so of course I accept this and I am happy he is a healthy kid.

We laugh a lot about the stretching gap between his needs and mine. Him needing more of his own space and my covert needs to keep on smothering him with maternal love. I am a textiles designer and he often helps me and has great creative ideas. So we started to fantasize how we could visualize this puberty gap. So I suggested to make a cuddly version of him!

We are always making and creating stuff and I love to knit unknittable things. My husband is a designer too, so my son is very familiar with the process. My two sons love the project and helped with the making of the cap and, of course, posing. They always help with the projects I make for my work and private. And we help them back of course with their creative ideas.

My knitted son consists of: a knitted head with cap, hands with nails and watch, knitted trousers, a knitted sweater with an obstinate slogan, knitters sneakers and knitted ipod. We had great fun making it! Actually the knitted son has characteristics of both my sons. The other one had just grown so much during the process that the smaller one was only able to wear it when it was finished. So it more a tribute to puberty and my sons, we do not have real issues with puberty, intimacy or contact. Quite the opposite actually! And during the process I was able to cuddle with him without him even knowing it.


Smother mother


Eating junkfood


Nose picking


Skateboarding


Coming late




Hanging out

 

[SpurtingLesbian]

 

[Donald Twain]

My Son Doesn’t Want To Cuddle Anymore So I Knit A Cuddly Version Of Him

2 days ago by Club Geluk

My son is reaching puberty. We used to cuddle all the time, but those days are becoming scarce. Now he rather hangs with friends, plays with his phone and listens to his ipod. Exactly according to nature’s plan. I am a good mother, so of course I accept this and I am happy he is a healthy kid.

We laugh a lot about the stretching gap between his needs and mine. Him needing more of his own space and my covert needs to keep on smothering him with maternal love. I am a textiles designer and he often helps me and has great creative ideas. So we started to fantasize how we could visualize this puberty gap. So I suggested to make a cuddly version of him!

We are always making and creating stuff and I love to knit unknittable things. My husband is a designer too, so my son is very familiar with the process. My two sons love the project and helped with the making of the cap and, of course, posing. They always help with the projects I make for my work and private. And we help them back of course with their creative ideas.

My knitted son consists of: a knitted head with cap, hands with nails and watch, knitted trousers, a knitted sweater with an obstinate slogan, knitters sneakers and knitted ipod. We had great fun making it! Actually the knitted son has characteristics of both my sons. The other one had just grown so much during the process that the smaller one was only able to wear it when it was finished. So it more a tribute to puberty and my sons, we do not have real issues with puberty, intimacy or contact. Quite the opposite actually! And during the process I was able to cuddle with him without him even knowing it.


Smother mother


Eating junkfood


Nose picking


Skateboarding


Coming late




Hanging out

Who wears a pink watch? No wonder his only chum is a gozzy eyed fat turd!

 

[Prevenger17]

Plymouth mum with hairy Lidl turnip is living in fear of spiders

By Plymouth Herald | Posted: January 09, 2016
By CHIARA GIORDANO Herald Reporter @cfgiordano

Lisa Andrews, pictured, is living in fear of spiders after finding a mysterious hole in her turnip purchased at a Lidl supermarket, in Plymouth.



A PLYMOUTH mother is living in fear of a spider after finding a mysterious hole in her turnip.
Lisa Anderson, aged 37, says she was left "in a state of shock" after her partner cut into the vegetable and found what she believed was a spider's web and eggs.
The mother-of-five, from Honicknowle, purchased the turnip at Lidl, in Transit Way, earlier today along with other vegetables, including a bag of potatoes and carrots.
She says it was the first time she had shopped at the supermarket and that she is now scared there are venomous spiders in her home.
Speaking to The Herald, she said: "I'm not sure if it's come over from another country or if it was grown in the UK so we're scared in case it's venomous.
"I don't want a venomous spider running around.
"We're all scared of spiders and my son just went mental."
Ms Andrews admitted that her family did not actually see a spider – but said that she believed there were spider webs and eggs "like something from a film".
She said: "We didn't want to disturb it or anything and I told my partner to just put it back together and in a carrier bag.
"I couldn't open the bag of potatoes or carrots that we bought because I was just afraid that there were going to be spiders.
"It put us off our meal."
She added: "I just want people to be made aware."
A spokesman for Lidl said that the company is investigating the "isolated incident".
He said: "We have thorough procedures in place to ensure that the products available in our stores are of the highest possible quality for our customers.
"We require our suppliers to adhere to the specifications we outline in our contracts and to meet the exacting high standards we set.
"We can reassure our customers that this is an isolated incident and that we are currently investigating the matter with the supplier as a matter of urgency.
"We will directly communicate with the customer and sincerely apologise to them for any distress or upset caused."





I think I would be put off by her hairy Lidl turnip as well.

They didn't even see any spiders. A more apt title would be Plymouth mum with hairy Lidl turnip is living in fear of mind spiders

 

[Donald Twain]

As GOT continues to eat its own face, people are turning to this thread more and more . Its cunning mixture of current affairs, profound messages and slapstick has won over the naysayers, and gone from strength to strength.

 

[SpurtingLesbian]

As GOT continues to eat its own face, people are turning to this thread more and more . Its cunning mixture of current affairs, profound messages and slapstick has won over the naysayers, and gone from strength to strength.

They are all legit stories reported in the press.

Someone has to tell GOTsters what's REALLY going on it the world. It's too all too easy to get diverted from the TRUTH by all the made up stories about Wars, Economic Collapse, and the Tories stealing whatever they can from the rest of us.

 

[Donald Twain]

They are all legit stories reported in the press.

Someone has to tell GOTsters what's REALLY going on it the world. It's too all too easy to get diverted from the TRUTH by all the made up stories about Wars, Economic Collapse, and the Tories stealing whatever they can from the rest of us.

You're a hero to the masses without a voice mate! My children sing songs about the 'Spurting Lesbian', keep up the good fight for us all.