PLEASE ISIS, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE.
Not Safe For Work! Spurty's Newsround
- Thread starter SpurtingLesbian
- Start date
- Status
summerisle
The rain, it raineth every day
Jedward are standing up to terrorism with a tour of European airports: "Everything will be okay"
They're not playing, just calming fans' fears.
21 HOURS AGO
Jedward are on a mission to calm terrorism fears with a tour of airports.
The Irish twins will embark on a series of gigs across Europe to reassure their fans that "everything will be okay".
However, those wanting a performance from the duo will be left disappointed, as the two will just be meeting fans.
"We're not performing but instead we plan on defying the current fears about terrorism by reassuring our fans that everything will be okay," John told the Irish Sun.
They also revealed that they will not be earning any money from the tour, with Edward saying: "It's not about money. It's about making a connection with cool people.
"People can take selfies with us. Whatever they want to do."
The Jedward World Peace Tour will stop at 19 cities across 12 countries in January, including London's Stansted Airport and Glasgow's T2.
So rest easy folks, the world is now a safer place.
Swerving Cairo I see.
Donald Twain
Vide cor meum
Jedward are standing up to terrorism with a tour of European airports: "Everything will be okay"
They're not playing, just calming fans' fears.
21 HOURS AGO
Jedward are on a mission to calm terrorism fears with a tour of airports.
The Irish twins will embark on a series of gigs across Europe to reassure their fans that "everything will be okay".
However, those wanting a performance from the duo will be left disappointed, as the two will just be meeting fans.
"We're not performing but instead we plan on defying the current fears about terrorism by reassuring our fans that everything will be okay," John told the Irish Sun.
They also revealed that they will not be earning any money from the tour, with Edward saying: "It's not about money. It's about making a connection with cool people.
"People can take selfies with us. Whatever they want to do."
The Jedward World Peace Tour will stop at 19 cities across 12 countries in January, including London's Stansted Airport and Glasgow's T2.
So rest easy folks, the world is now a safer place.
I'm going!
SpurtingLesbian
Ken Dodd Nagasaki
Dithering Dougie
Banned
Sounds like a very low budget remake of Cool Hand Luke.
SpurtingLesbian
Ken Dodd Nagasaki
Driver 'convinced he could time travel' smashes car into three offices
A man who was allegedly convinced he could TIME TRAVEL has smashed his car into office buildings - leaving them looking "like a bomb went off".
No one was hurt in the traffic accident, which has reportedly left three businesses having to move to new offices because of the damage.
The unnamed driver of a Dodge Challenger reportedly drove into the Advanced Tax Services offices in Pensacola, Florida, on Monday.
General manager Emanuel Mores told ABC3 Wear : "It looked like a bomb went off.
"I was mad, then eventually I was happy no one was hurt. You know that was my biggest concern cause, you know, if anyone was hurt, anybody could have died or whatever."
Accident aftermath: General manager Emanuel Mores said "It looked like a bomb went off"
According to police, the driver told them he was trying to 'travel through time'.
Damage caused: The driver plowed into businesses while trying to 'time travel', police say
He was taken to the hospital for evaluation and was issued a citation for reckless driving.
- 12:41, 1 JAN 2016
- UPDATED 12:57, 1 JAN 2016
A man who was allegedly convinced he could TIME TRAVEL has smashed his car into office buildings - leaving them looking "like a bomb went off".
No one was hurt in the traffic accident, which has reportedly left three businesses having to move to new offices because of the damage.
The unnamed driver of a Dodge Challenger reportedly drove into the Advanced Tax Services offices in Pensacola, Florida, on Monday.
General manager Emanuel Mores told ABC3 Wear : "It looked like a bomb went off.
"I was mad, then eventually I was happy no one was hurt. You know that was my biggest concern cause, you know, if anyone was hurt, anybody could have died or whatever."
Accident aftermath: General manager Emanuel Mores said "It looked like a bomb went off"
According to police, the driver told them he was trying to 'travel through time'.
Damage caused: The driver plowed into businesses while trying to 'time travel', police say
He was taken to the hospital for evaluation and was issued a citation for reckless driving.
Donald Twain
Vide cor meum
Best place for em!
SpurtingLesbian
Ken Dodd Nagasaki
http://www.westernmorningnews.co.uk...ell-superfan/story-28465949-detail/story.html
'My life is ruined' says Daniel O'Donnell superfan after finding star will miss Plymouth show
By WMNJBayley | Posted: January 05, 2016
David Marks, 18, has been a loyal fan of the Irish singer since the age of 14, when he discovered the star in his dad's record collection.
David was eagerly awaiting the announcement of O'Donnell's 2016 tour dates, and declared that it would "ruin his life" if he couldn't see the folk music sensation this year.
But David, from Plymouth, was shocked when he discovered that the folk music sensation would not be performing in Plymouth, and fears he won't be able to make it to any of the other shows.
David, a full time student, has already seen Daniel O'Donnell perform in Plymouth twice, the first time at the Plymouth Pavilions in 2012 with his dad, Ray.
After the show David waited in line for hours to have his photo taken with his hero, and he was hoping to recreate the magical moment this year.
But David has been left distraught after discovering that O'Donnell would not be returning to Plymouth on his 2016 tour.
The nearest show to David is in Bristol, and he believes it would be near impossible for him to make the 120 mile journey.
David is now considering setting up an online campaign or petition to tempt the star to perform in Devon.
David said: "It would be very hard for me to get up to Bristol, as I'm a full time student and travel wouldn't work out to get there and back.
"Daniel is a great singer; I'm gutted he isn't coming to Plymouth.
"There are many fans in Plymouth that support Daniel, so I'm upset on their behalf too.
"Bristol is not far from here, I can't understand why after all of these years he has decided not to come here anymore."
O'Donnell has regularly performed in Plymouth, at the Plymouth Pavilions, since 1991, and at his first show tickets sold out before the building officially opened.
Bryony Carter, from Plymouth Pavilions, said: "It is always a pleasure to host Daniel at the Pavilions, and should a date for a new show be arranged it will be announced in due course."
'My life is ruined' says Daniel O'Donnell superfan after finding star will miss Plymouth show
By WMNJBayley | Posted: January 05, 2016
- Daniel O'Donnell fan David Marks
David Marks, 18, has been a loyal fan of the Irish singer since the age of 14, when he discovered the star in his dad's record collection.
David was eagerly awaiting the announcement of O'Donnell's 2016 tour dates, and declared that it would "ruin his life" if he couldn't see the folk music sensation this year.
But David, from Plymouth, was shocked when he discovered that the folk music sensation would not be performing in Plymouth, and fears he won't be able to make it to any of the other shows.
David, a full time student, has already seen Daniel O'Donnell perform in Plymouth twice, the first time at the Plymouth Pavilions in 2012 with his dad, Ray.
After the show David waited in line for hours to have his photo taken with his hero, and he was hoping to recreate the magical moment this year.
But David has been left distraught after discovering that O'Donnell would not be returning to Plymouth on his 2016 tour.
The nearest show to David is in Bristol, and he believes it would be near impossible for him to make the 120 mile journey.
David is now considering setting up an online campaign or petition to tempt the star to perform in Devon.
David said: "It would be very hard for me to get up to Bristol, as I'm a full time student and travel wouldn't work out to get there and back.
"Daniel is a great singer; I'm gutted he isn't coming to Plymouth.
"There are many fans in Plymouth that support Daniel, so I'm upset on their behalf too.
"Bristol is not far from here, I can't understand why after all of these years he has decided not to come here anymore."
O'Donnell has regularly performed in Plymouth, at the Plymouth Pavilions, since 1991, and at his first show tickets sold out before the building officially opened.
Bryony Carter, from Plymouth Pavilions, said: "It is always a pleasure to host Daniel at the Pavilions, and should a date for a new show be arranged it will be announced in due course."
Donald Twain
Vide cor meum
Folk music sensation ! 
Yorkie
Player Valuation: £35m
Less calories than eating them conventionally!
Hellerad
j'accuse!
I thought 23 Quality Street was an address at first. Was trying to make out brick and mortar in the X-Ray.
Sort of a let down, really.
SpurtingLesbian
Ken Dodd Nagasaki
Heavily-Armed Man Claiming To Be Jesus Arrested After Plotting To Kidnap Obama’s Dog
AUTHOR: JOHN PRAGER JANUARY 8, 2016 2:08 PM
A North Dakota man was arrested Wednesday after having driven to Washington, DC with one goal in mind — getting himself a new dog. But the crazed ammosexual didn’t want just any dog — he wanted Bo, the First Dog of the United States. Responding to a tip from the Secret Service, police tracked the would-be dog-napper down at a Hampton Inn near the Washington Convention Center.
Scott D. Stockert, 49, of Dickinson, N.D., told police that he was armed, directing them to his pickup truck where he kept a 12-gauge pump shotgun and a bolt-action .22-caliber rifle. In addition, police found a billy club, a machete with a 12-inch blade, and 350 rounds of ammunition. He was arrested and charged with carrying a rifle or shotgun outside his home or business, which is illegal in the District of Columbia.
After his arrest, Stockert told police that he was Jesus Christ, that he was the son of John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe, and expressed displeasure with the Affordable Care Act. Stockert — or Jesus, depending on whether or not you believe him — says that he was in town to a.) kidnap Bo and b.) to announce his planned run for President and a $99 per month insurance plan.
“You picked the wrong person to mess with,” he told agents as he was arrested. “I will [Poor language removed] your world up.”
On Friday at Jesus’ preliminary hearing, a judge ordered him released into a high-intensity supervision program pending a court date to be set later. Stockert is not permitted to possess any weapons — real or imitation — or to go near the White House or Capitol.
Court documents don’t specify why he wanted to kidnap the dog, but one thing is for certain — Bo is safe for another day. As for Stockert’s presidential campaign… Well, he’s already had more ideas than the entire Republican field combined. Maybe he can be the man to oust Trump as the frontrunner. After all, has The Donald tried to kidnap Obama’s dog? Think about it, Trump fans.
AUTHOR: JOHN PRAGER JANUARY 8, 2016 2:08 PM
A North Dakota man was arrested Wednesday after having driven to Washington, DC with one goal in mind — getting himself a new dog. But the crazed ammosexual didn’t want just any dog — he wanted Bo, the First Dog of the United States. Responding to a tip from the Secret Service, police tracked the would-be dog-napper down at a Hampton Inn near the Washington Convention Center.
Scott D. Stockert, 49, of Dickinson, N.D., told police that he was armed, directing them to his pickup truck where he kept a 12-gauge pump shotgun and a bolt-action .22-caliber rifle. In addition, police found a billy club, a machete with a 12-inch blade, and 350 rounds of ammunition. He was arrested and charged with carrying a rifle or shotgun outside his home or business, which is illegal in the District of Columbia.
After his arrest, Stockert told police that he was Jesus Christ, that he was the son of John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe, and expressed displeasure with the Affordable Care Act. Stockert — or Jesus, depending on whether or not you believe him — says that he was in town to a.) kidnap Bo and b.) to announce his planned run for President and a $99 per month insurance plan.
“You picked the wrong person to mess with,” he told agents as he was arrested. “I will [Poor language removed] your world up.”
On Friday at Jesus’ preliminary hearing, a judge ordered him released into a high-intensity supervision program pending a court date to be set later. Stockert is not permitted to possess any weapons — real or imitation — or to go near the White House or Capitol.
Court documents don’t specify why he wanted to kidnap the dog, but one thing is for certain — Bo is safe for another day. As for Stockert’s presidential campaign… Well, he’s already had more ideas than the entire Republican field combined. Maybe he can be the man to oust Trump as the frontrunner. After all, has The Donald tried to kidnap Obama’s dog? Think about it, Trump fans.
SpurtingLesbian
Ken Dodd Nagasaki
A VW Beetle Spotted in the Insect Collection at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History
by Christopher Jobson on January 8, 2016
While walking through the Cleveland Museum of Natural History earlier this week, Redditor muppaphone spotted a toy VW Bug hidden amongst a collection of taxidermied beetles. Most likely the joke of a good-humored curator, commenters suggest museums frequently hide objects like this for observant patrons to discover.
by Christopher Jobson on January 8, 2016
While walking through the Cleveland Museum of Natural History earlier this week, Redditor muppaphone spotted a toy VW Bug hidden amongst a collection of taxidermied beetles. Most likely the joke of a good-humored curator, commenters suggest museums frequently hide objects like this for observant patrons to discover.
SpurtingLesbian
Ken Dodd Nagasaki
SpurtingLesbian
Ken Dodd Nagasaki
Plymouth mum with hairy Lidl turnip is living in fear of spiders
By Plymouth Herald | Posted: January 09, 2016
By CHIARA GIORDANO Herald Reporter @cfgiordano
Lisa Andrews, pictured, is living in fear of spiders after finding a mysterious hole in her turnip purchased at a Lidl supermarket, in Plymouth.
A PLYMOUTH mother is living in fear of a spider after finding a mysterious hole in her turnip.
Lisa Anderson, aged 37, says she was left "in a state of shock" after her partner cut into the vegetable and found what she believed was a spider's web and eggs.
The mother-of-five, from Honicknowle, purchased the turnip at Lidl, in Transit Way, earlier today along with other vegetables, including a bag of potatoes and carrots.
She says it was the first time she had shopped at the supermarket and that she is now scared there are venomous spiders in her home.
Speaking to The Herald, she said: "I'm not sure if it's come over from another country or if it was grown in the UK so we're scared in case it's venomous.
"I don't want a venomous spider running around.
"We're all scared of spiders and my son just went mental."
Ms Andrews admitted that her family did not actually see a spider – but said that she believed there were spider webs and eggs "like something from a film".
She said: "We didn't want to disturb it or anything and I told my partner to just put it back together and in a carrier bag.
"I couldn't open the bag of potatoes or carrots that we bought because I was just afraid that there were going to be spiders.
"It put us off our meal."
She added: "I just want people to be made aware."
A spokesman for Lidl said that the company is investigating the "isolated incident".
He said: "We have thorough procedures in place to ensure that the products available in our stores are of the highest possible quality for our customers.
"We require our suppliers to adhere to the specifications we outline in our contracts and to meet the exacting high standards we set.
"We can reassure our customers that this is an isolated incident and that we are currently investigating the matter with the supplier as a matter of urgency.
"We will directly communicate with the customer and sincerely apologise to them for any distress or upset caused."
I think I would be put off by her hairy Lidl turnip as well.
By Plymouth Herald | Posted: January 09, 2016
By CHIARA GIORDANO Herald Reporter @cfgiordano
Lisa Andrews, pictured, is living in fear of spiders after finding a mysterious hole in her turnip purchased at a Lidl supermarket, in Plymouth.
A PLYMOUTH mother is living in fear of a spider after finding a mysterious hole in her turnip.
Lisa Anderson, aged 37, says she was left "in a state of shock" after her partner cut into the vegetable and found what she believed was a spider's web and eggs.
The mother-of-five, from Honicknowle, purchased the turnip at Lidl, in Transit Way, earlier today along with other vegetables, including a bag of potatoes and carrots.
She says it was the first time she had shopped at the supermarket and that she is now scared there are venomous spiders in her home.
Speaking to The Herald, she said: "I'm not sure if it's come over from another country or if it was grown in the UK so we're scared in case it's venomous.
"I don't want a venomous spider running around.
"We're all scared of spiders and my son just went mental."
Ms Andrews admitted that her family did not actually see a spider – but said that she believed there were spider webs and eggs "like something from a film".
She said: "We didn't want to disturb it or anything and I told my partner to just put it back together and in a carrier bag.
"I couldn't open the bag of potatoes or carrots that we bought because I was just afraid that there were going to be spiders.
"It put us off our meal."
She added: "I just want people to be made aware."
A spokesman for Lidl said that the company is investigating the "isolated incident".
He said: "We have thorough procedures in place to ensure that the products available in our stores are of the highest possible quality for our customers.
"We require our suppliers to adhere to the specifications we outline in our contracts and to meet the exacting high standards we set.
"We can reassure our customers that this is an isolated incident and that we are currently investigating the matter with the supplier as a matter of urgency.
"We will directly communicate with the customer and sincerely apologise to them for any distress or upset caused."
I think I would be put off by her hairy Lidl turnip as well.
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