Six things guaranteed this season

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Ricky Van Wolfswinkle mk2 (probably Haller) to score only league goal against us to salvage a draw for Dildo FC.

Miss out on CL by 2 points.
 
Work on BMD clearance is halted by the discovery of a diamond as big as the Ritz.

EFC become the world's richest club.

Messi, Mbappe, CR7, Hazard and Aguero becomes the most expensive bench on history, but none of them can displace the second coming of DCL, golden boot and ballon d'Or winner

Nurse has taken my pills away so I don't know what follows next :(
 
1. We will lose some games.
2. We will draw some games.
3. We will win some games.
4. We will not win the treble.
5. We will concede the first VAR premier league penalty.
6. We will lose at Anfield.
 
...Kean will be our leading goalscorer;
...we’ll win away at a club in the top four;
...we’ll qualify for the EL;
...we’ll win the League Cup;
...Digne will be in the PL team of the year;
...we’ll still be last on MotD.
Most unrealistic one there. He could have double the amount of goals and assists and Robertson would still get the nod over him coz e's the best left back in de werrlllddd
 
1. Our best player before Christmas will miss the rest of the season.
2. We will almost beat the Reds at Goodison, and go down at Anfield
3. There will be a period between Nov & Jan when we will be able to say -- oh if we'd just beaten those 2 crap teams, not lost that stupid penalty, not conceded in the last 5 mins, we'd be up 13 points and actually be in 2nd.
4. Six players guaranteed to still be here - Stek, Niasse, Tosun, Schneiderlin, Besic and MIrallas
5. Chelsea, Arsenal, Man U will all be in transition...will we capitalise?
6. The 3rd kit will look great
 
1. Our best player before Christmas will miss the rest of the season.
2. We will almost beat the Reds at Goodison, and go down at Anfield
3. There will be a period between Nov & Jan when we will be able to say -- oh if we'd just beaten those 2 crap teams, not lost that stupid penalty, not conceded in the last 5 mins, we'd be up 13 points and actually be in 2nd.
4. Six players guaranteed to still be here - Stek, Niasse, Tosun, Schneiderlin, Besic and MIrallas
5. Chelsea, Arsenal, Man U will all be in transition...will we capitalise?
6. The 3rd kit will look great

....and now my optimistic version

1. We will have a player in the team of the season
2. We will beat the reds (once)
3 .We will be in the top 6 for the entire season
4. Brands will do the business on the players
5. We will do much better than last year
6. THe 2nd and 3rd kits will be amazing
 
Work on BMD clearance is halted by the discovery of a diamond as big as the Ritz.

EFC become the world's richest club.

Messi, Mbappe, CR7, Hazard and Aguero becomes the most expensive bench on history, but none of them can displace the second coming of DCL, golden boot and ballon d'Or winner

Nurse has taken my pills away so I don't know what follows next :(
That nurse needs plenty of protection.
 
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