"Scouse Wit" at the match

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Steven Naismith

Player Valuation: £6m
Extremely bored on this very boring thursday night, so, had many funny moments and people shouting outrageously hilarious things at the match so.. whats the funniest thing you've heard at the match?

Mine is when we had Richard Wright in goal, goes to take a goal kick and some fella behind me is giving him absolute hell about how really sh*te he was. Next minute, he bends down to place the ball and after all that abuse the fella had just give him you just heard "nice arse though!" everyone was in stitches including wright him self, he had to replace the ball he couldn't stop laughing!
 

"Go on Denis lad, show em you're worth that whole quid"

When the Straq came on against Norwich, wasn't particularly funny thinking about it but at the time it was hilarious because we were so awful that day and everyone just felt like we had to laugh at something
 
Still loved when an old guy stood up in the Lower Gwladys and shouted, after yet another Drogba dive, "You sir, are a con artist and a cheat!"
Probably doesnt class as Scouse wit because there was neither swearing or 'Ee are' at the start but had me and my mates in bulk!
 

Chelsea last game of the season. Gwladys. Feller at the front kept grabbing his Mrs and shouting at John Terry "John! You can shag her if you want John! Go 'ed John"

Made me chuckle.
 
I remember watching an awful game against Charlton over the christmas period around twelve years or so ago, we played horrible and were losing 3 0 and didn't look like we'd score if we played all day. As the assistant indicated there was going to be 5 minutes of injury time, an Everton fan behind me shouted "for god sakes ref, it's christmas!"
 

A dad and son sits behind me and the dad comes out with obscenities every 20 seconds. The son, who is about 4-7, keeps shouting 'get up ya faggot' which was funny the first time but now it's slightly worrying.
Not sure it's witty, more sh*tey parenting really.
 
Always makes me laugh to hear the stuff that gets picked up by the TV microphones around the ground.

Me favourite was years ago at a derby, was watching on telly. Heard "eeeeew. Dad! craigs just farted".
 

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