Sammy Lee - The Solution

[Boss_Blue]

Brian The Turncoat Kidd has been at City for ages and you don't see them worrying about it as they're playing barca and winning trophies

Probably because they're playing Barca and winning trophies.

 

[Boss_Blue]

"Called it! I said it was Nazi's!!"
"...." *sigh*
I'll be shocked if anyone gets this reference

The abridged for the above is better than the original.

"Get that bitch a cannon.

Bitches love cannons."

Edit: show me your shocked face Mikey x

 

[orly]

Only way he should ever be hired is if the circus is in town and we need to shoot someone out a canon at anfields new stand

Plus he is best mates and a drinking buddy of piss stained aldo isn't he?

Not sure I'm prepared to offer Aldo up as a solution thread

 

[The Rhino]

The solution is Koeman been backed by the board to bring in his own players.

In the meantime I would like to see us go 2 up top with Deulofeu partnering Rom. Bolasie could be utilised as a wing back in a 3-5-2 with Baines not good enough imo. Could go forward with Barry dropping into a defensive position to cover when out of position.

 

[Mikey_Fitzgerald]

show me your shocked face Mikey x

 

[degsy]

Hallo Friends

As you will no doubt be aware, Everton recently have been a bit poo.


1-1 Swansea City

Chelsea 0-5 loss

2-0 win West Ham United

Burnley 2-1 loss

Manchester City 1-1

1-1Crystal Palace

Bournemouth 1-0

0-2 Norwich City

Not many goals, quite a few conceded, a solitary win vs West Ham mixed in with the dross.

Some of our most knowledgeable posters have wrestled with solutions to offer beleaguered boss Ronny Koeman, he of the Jaguar posing and Lukaku touting persuasion.

We've clearly got attacking issues in the squad, and today @davek has hit upon what could possibly be the brilliant answer;



https://www.grandoldteam.com/forum/...s-everton-manager.89131/page-754#post-5039645 for evidence of this epiphany.

Would Sammy be the solution?

Let's get the negatives out of the way

He used to play for the Horrors
He identifies as a goblin
He has teeth sharpened on the bones of emaciated rodents (which he has likely caught himself)


The positives though

Koeman's reign could barely be going any worse, and he's hardly going to decrease the quality of Bolasie's crossing

He can help out at that upcoming 'sleep rough in the Park End' event

Southampton actually scored some quite bigly amounts of goals while he was there

Anyone who looks like a child (like Del or Tom Davies) will instantly feel keen to run about a bit, preferably away from Sammy.

If Edwin Koeman is a 'yes' man, the dressing room at the moment must be 'yes', 'yes but ok', 'yes', 'but ok', 'yes', so Lee, S. will at least squawk like a parakeet in a hot bath

Time to roll the dice?

If he helps Koeman get the message over, why would you shoot the messenger (well apart from him being Sammy Lee/rs obvs.)

In this case it's the Song , not the singer...just shut your eyes and listen - forget he's a footballing Susan Boyle

 

[Mikey_Fitzgerald]

The abridged for the above is better than the original.

"Get that bitch a cannon.

Bitches love cannons."

"I need to talk to you about some important guests coming today."

"Are they hookers?"

"No"

"And like that, you've lost me"

 

[bluestevon]

Not sure I'm prepared to offer Aldo up as a solution thread

Have to stick that one in the alehouse, as it's where he spends 75% of his time, the rest lying piss-stained in the gutter

 

[Boss_Blue]

"I need to talk to you about some important guests coming today."

"Are they hookers?"

"No"

"And like that, you've lost me"

"Honestly, if you're gonna have a di_ck fighting competition with a woman, you must have started off with the world's cruelest handicap... Which I'm sure benefits the nine-year-old boy you have chained up in your private Vatican jet.

Which was paid for how?

Oh right!

'Generous donations from your followers to spread the word of God...' All over his back!"

 

[Boss_Blue]

"You know it. Reminds me of when I'd keep your bed warm during the blitz."

"Those were better days. I was younger, beautiful..."

"Oh shut up you old hag, I'd still wreck you like Diana!"

"Hahahahaha! Oh, you know exactly what to say to moisten me up."

Best.

Thing.

Ever.

 

[Mikey_Fitzgerald]

"Honestly, if you're gonna have a di_ck fighting competition with a woman, you must have started off with the world's cruelest handicap... Which I'm sure benefits the nine-year-old boy you have chained up in your private Vatican jet.

Which was paid for how?

Oh right!

'Generous donations from your followers to spread the word of God...' All over his back!"

"I'm sure you're chomping at the bit to find out vhat ve have in store for you, nein?"

"Nazi army."

"...Wow, just, kill all the fun"

 

[Mikey_Fitzgerald]

We've gone drastically off topic here

On the other hand though

Helsing Abridged > Sammy Lee, so I'm considering it a positive lol

Anyway, I'm getting out now before I get infracted

 

[tommye]

I'd just like to add I've known Sammy since I was a kid. I will show him this thread, little fat bellend n all, when I next see him.
He'll be so happy we care enough to give him his own thread

 

[Khalekan]

I'd just like to add I've known Sammy since I was a kid. I will show him this thread, little fat bellend n all, when I next see him.
He'll be so happy we care enough to give him his own thread

lol

 

[Kiwi]

"I'm sure you're chomping at the bit to find out vhat ve have in store for you, nein?"

"Nazi army."

"...Wow, just, kill all the fun"

"Oh fck thats an anti tank rifle. OH FCK THATS AN ANTI TANK RIFLE"
*cuts to Alucard watching adventure time