Paper Round: Kuyt hammer blow

[Matt Damon]

Transfers - Paper Round: Kuyt hammer blow - Yahoo! Eurosport

Hot on the heels of Robin van Persie's horse placenta comes arguably the weirdest medical treatment of the season, courtesy of Dirk Kuyt.

The Liverpool forward told the Daily Mail he employs somebody to come over from Holland twice a year and hit him with a mallet.
Kuyt calls him an orthomanual therapist - we call him a man with a big wooden hammer.
The therapist, who goes by the preposterous name of 'Jan-Jan the hammer man', whacks Kuyt with the mallet "to find out which bones and joints are out of place because of all the kicks I get during the season."
Incredibly, this alternative medicine mumbo-jumbo seems to work. Kuyt was ever-present in the Premier League last season and once played 179 consecutive games for his previous club Feyenoord.
Kuyt's fellow Dutchman Van Persie travelled to Serbia earlier this season where a doctor rubbed horse placenta on an injured ankle in a bid to speed the healing process. However, he has not played since early November.

It works?

HAS NO ONE LOOKED AT HIS FACE RECENTLY?:blink:

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

Me thinks he's been hitting him on the nose with it a bit too often, jan jan the hammer man, didn't he have hit in the 80's ?
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQDU-2qMre0[/media]

haha, I bet Micky Quinn was modelling himself on Castillo all along, and ended up looking like Bob Carolgees.

 

[bluebloodinmyveins]

I'll hit him or any other red shi*e player with a mallet for free. In fact I'll pay them.

 

[spikeman]

Transfers - Paper Round: Kuyt hammer blow - Yahoo! Eurosport

Hot on the heels of Robin van Persie's horse placenta comes arguably the weirdest medical treatment of the season, courtesy of Dirk Kuyt.

The Liverpool forward told the Daily Mail he employs somebody to come over from Holland twice a year and hit him with a mallet.
Kuyt calls him an orthomanual therapist - we call him a man with a big wooden hammer.
The therapist, who goes by the preposterous name of 'Jan-Jan the hammer man', whacks Kuyt with the mallet "to find out which bones and joints are out of place because of all the kicks I get during the season."
Incredibly, this alternative medicine mumbo-jumbo seems to work. Kuyt was ever-present in the Premier League last season and once played 179 consecutive games for his previous club Feyenoord.
Kuyt's fellow Dutchman Van Persie travelled to Serbia earlier this season where a doctor rubbed horse placenta on an injured ankle in a bid to speed the healing process. However, he has not played since early November.

It works?

HAS NO ONE LOOKED AT HIS FACE RECENTLY?:blink:

I laughed so hard when I read this.

 

[Dutch Toffee]

Posted via Mobile Device

Strange folk those Dutch.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

I reckon he was just using his mallet to take a bit off his shoes.


we did used to have a similar guy over here, maybe he could be the new r/s physio.

 

[chicoazul]

Posted via Mobile Device

Strange folk those Dutch.

Nearly as weird as the Belgians mate.

 

[heatmeiser]

I touched Timmy Mallet once.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

I touched Timmy Mallet once.

you shouldve touched him a lot feckin' harder, he's 1 irritating [Poor language removed] he is, perfect for the r/s.

 

[Dutch Toffee]

Nearly as weird as the Belgians mate.

Posted via Mobile Device
That's a comforting thought, thanks Goat.

 

[best little spaniard]

Nearly as weird as the Belgians mate.

Posted via Mobile Device
That's a comforting thought, thanks Goat.

I KNEW THERE WAS A CONSPIRACY!!

 

[chicoazul]

Posted via Mobile Device
That's a comforting thought, thanks Goat.

Are you calling me fat mate?

You horror.

 

[Dutch Toffee]

Are you calling me fat mate?

You horror.

that would be an understatement.





Posted via Mobile Device

 

[Matt Damon]

Had the following rep posted to me for posting this in the ALE HOUSE forum.

"Stop spamming with pointless articles mate. Bbastardo."

I didn't realise the thought police were in town. It seems no one's allowed to share a joke these days.

 

[Matt Damon]

I laughed so hard when I read this.

I laughed too.