New Everton Manager

Next ex-Everton manager

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Player Valuation: £1m
Conte is obviously the outstanding available manager, but he's not coming near us. So no point talking about it.

Nuno is probably the sensible choice. He's got PL experience and would probably get us safely into top half.

More of a risk but probably the manager who has done the best job in Europe and actually won something (outside of Conte) is Galtier at Lille. 54 he's the right age to build something with young players.

Brett Angell Delight

Player Valuation: £50m
Whichever sap we hire to be the new manager, I'm looking forward to wading into him from the first whistle. People give their loyalty to these mercenaries and all they get in return is a slap in the face when somebody we might want to keep gets poached.

Everton, that. We can't keep the people we want to keep, and we can't get rid of the absolute charlatans we want to punt for love nor money.

So, right from the first pre-season friendly, I'm calling for the head of the new mercenary who takes the role. Daveberto Moyesinez out!
So people we might want to keep, on account of their quality are in demand by other clubs, and the ones who are undeniably crap aren’t??

Quite the scoop you’ve unearthed, here, friend.


Player Valuation: £20m
Haven’t been following transfers for a few years - presume this guy is no more reliable than any other supposed ITK?

In order of preference:

1. Moshiri's choice - "I demand you hook it to my veins, now!"
2. Brands's choice - "Ooh, hipstery, a bit of a risk, a touch of glamour, maybe even competence."

3. Kenwright's choice - "Does he come with a free pair of Y-fronts?"


Player Valuation: £8m
In reality, Brands should have the final say or his position is pointless

edit: I retract everything because that lad has clearly just started puberty and wants attention
Brands or Mosh appointments I can deal with, bill can just do one what an idiot


Player Valuation: £15m
New manager: the older and much wiser 'el Gaffer', Roberto Martinez.
Assistant: The ever loyal Leighton Baines
Man to put the cones out: Bring a Blue Home Phil Jagielka

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