Murder Death Kill

Goat · January 10, 2009

Ok, the kopite over the road is really winding me up, he has commited various crimes which i have let slide, due mainly to me wanting an easy life and also due to my kind nature, but now hes crossed the line.

Ive just been out to get something out my boot and hes parked his car about 2 inches away from mine. 2 Inches!!???? He doesnt even live on my side of the road and there is a space outside his house.

So im left with a number of choices, i can just walk up to him and end him, i could ask him what his [Poor language removed] problem is and does he want to eat soup from a straw? Im open to suggestions here mates, i really am.

As the tone of my post suggests, i am fuming.

All help in this matter is welcome.

harry · January 10, 2009

smash his car up and when he comes out knock [Poor language removed] out of him with a claw hammer (y)

steevie · January 10, 2009

Kopites only understand one language mate, ask those that went to Heysel!

Brownie · January 10, 2009

Get one of those shopping divider uppers from Tesco and put it on his bonnet.

Goat · January 10, 2009

Lets just hope im not still fuming tomorrow.........

TsarDiniyar · January 10, 2009

simple, get a chainsaw and cut his boot off, if he asks you what your playing at, tell him the truth, you couldnt get into your boot and needed to create space to do so.

steevie · January 10, 2009

Did this happen after the RS could only draw at Stoke? It would not suprise me if this was to be the case!

Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian · January 10, 2009

take your spare wheel and stuff out of your boot but let it rest on his car, it'll be covered in [Poor language removed] so he'll see all the imprints, or better still drop a bottle jack in the middle of his bonnet and say it must have slipped when you was loading it in the middle of the night, you wouldve asked him to move it but it was the middle of the night.
or take the valves out of all his tyres, it will be stuck there longer then though.

Jamo Martinez · January 10, 2009

Stuff some rags in his exhaust. If you've got space to get at it

Cahill's Metatarsal · January 11, 2009

You could always ask him to move his car, just an idea

Dom1878 · January 11, 2009

Key the car. I hate when that happens...so im sure he will.

TX Bill · January 11, 2009

Everton car sticker on the passenger side bumper.

He might ride around for a few days with it on before he notices.

neonleon · January 11, 2009

take him to the pub, have a few drinks with him.

talk about each others lives, your aspirations, the things you love, what really frightens you and how the world could be a better place.

then discuss a 12 inch parking buffer zone round each others vehicles.

Goat · January 11, 2009

leonbil said:
take him to the pub, have a few drinks with him.

talk about each others lives, your aspirations, the things you love, what really frightens you and how the world could be a better place.

then discuss a 12 inch parking buffer zone round each others vehicles.

Sounds nice, apart from the fact i despise him.

McBain · January 11, 2009

leonbil said:
take him to the pub, have a few drinks with him.

talk about each others lives, your aspirations, the things you love, what really frightens you and how the world could be a better place.

then discuss a 12 inch parking buffer zone round each others vehicles.

excellent post.