Mugabe set to make Everton bid – World Exclusive (Bolton Wanderers website)

[Dutch Toffee]

Posted via Mobile Device

Had to laugh reading this. Not because it's so funny (although it's a decent effort), but more because of a Bolton supporter writing it. I guess you have to look at alternative ways to kill your spare time, if you supporting that pile of [Poor language removed] that is Bolton Wanderers Football Club. Can't wait till the day that they finally get relegated from the Premiership, as the PL will be a better place without a nothing club like them.

 

[Whitebootman]

My dictator of choice to take over would be old Muammar Abu Minar al-Qaddafi. The guy is loaded but more important he's a dictator known for his impeccable fashion sense. Much more style than Mugabe who is well known to be the proud owner of a Matalan Gold Card, giving him first refusal and a 10% discount on goods that Matalan can't shift even in their store in Slough.

 

[ricardobee]

My source tells me that genghis khan is leading a consortium with lex Luther and dr octopus who are interested in taking us over.

 

[ToffeeDan]

And in his first move as Everton Chairman Robert Mugabe sacks David Moyes and installs Rafael Benitez as manager thereby murdering our chances of success for the next 3 years.

Everton players have been on starvation rations - forced to scavenge around the perimeter of Finch Farm for water and food. Leon Osman and a barely fit James Vaughan manage to escape from the compound and quickly go to the nearest (near) empty Tesco's Express to bring back much needed rations.

The Everton Pound is now totally worthless. Press Officer Ross has been printing several billion Everton Pound which are, this morning, being exchanged for Sterling at a rate of £1 for E£1,200 in Halewood. Players are forced to sign English £5 notes in order to survive.

 

[Mutzo Nutzo]

At least there will be no issue with expanding GP if Mugabe takes over, as he'll just initiate a land grab...white farmers on County road beware

 

[BlackToffee]

Am I the only one who found that quite amusing?

Probably. Mugabe and Everton and bolton in the same sentence? Now that's funny in a very silly kind of way.

...And no, I've not read the article, not going to bother.

 

[GrandOldTeam]

I don't understand the context.

Why is that on a Bolton website?

I'm clearly missing a trick here. I suppose I should get to work on writing an exhaustive article/'joke' on Norwich City.

 

[Neiler]

I forgot Bolton were minted!

 

[Matt Damon]

I forgot Bolton were minted!

Thats what got me when they described us as "penniless".

How many times has the Reebok sold out in the last 5 years?

And when did they ever sign a 15 million 21 year old BEAST with curley hair?

EXACTLY!

Jealousy.

 

[Neiler]

Lets be honest if we put a bit for a Bolton player both the player and the club would cream themselves.

Didnt we have the chance to sign prob their best player for 5 mill in the summer and we didnt fancy him.

 

[Mutzo Nutzo]

And their fans only respond to chants on cue with awful canned music at set intervals during a game...its like being at a monster truck rally FFS!

 

[Matt Damon]

And their fans only respond to chants on cue with awful canned music at set intervals during a game...its like being at a monster truck rally FFS!

Any club playing music when the home team score should have an automatic 9 point deduction at the start of the season as far as I'm concerned.

 

[Ct jr.]

I
I'm clearly missing a trick here. I suppose I should get to work on writing an exhaustive article/'joke' on Norwich City.

Norwich to be taken over by a reclusive clan of moon men, relocation to follow shortly after?