summerisle
The rain, it raineth every day
I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.
The zoo keeper said it was bread in captivity.
The zoo keeper said it was bread in captivity.
Jokes Thread
- Thread starter toffeemax
- Start date
Gladystweet
Player Valuation: £50m
summerisle
The rain, it raineth every day
Gladystweet
Player Valuation: £50m
THREE EVERTON FANS AND THREE LIVERPOOL FANS ARE TRAVELLING BY TRAIN TO THEIR RESPECTIVE F.A.CUP TIES IN LONDON.
AT THE STATION, THE THREE REDS BUY A TICKET AND WATCH AS THE THREE EVERTONIANS BUY JUST ONE TICKET BETWEEN THEM.
"HOW ARE THE THREE OF YOU GOING TO TRAVEL ON ONLY ONE TICKET?" ASKS ONE OF THE KOPITES.
"WATCH AND LEARN." ANSWERS ONE OF THE BLUE NOSES. THEY ALL BOARD THE TRAIN. THE KOPITES TAKE THEIR RESPECTIVE SEATS BUT ALL THREE EVERTONIANS CRAM INTO A TOILET AND CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND THEM.
SHORTLY AFTER THE CONDUCTOR COMES AROUND COLLECTING TICKETS. HE KNOCKS ON THE TOILET DOOR AND SAYS, "TICKETS PLEASE." THE DOOR OPENS AND A SINGLE ARM EMERGES WITH A TICKET IN HAND. THE CONDUCTOR TAKES IT AND MOVES ON.
THE KOPITES SEE THIS AND AGREE IT WAS QUITE A CLEVER IDEA. SO AFTER THE GAME, THEY DECIDE TO COPY THE EVERTON FANS ON THE RETURN TRIP AND SAVE SOME MONEY (BEING CLEVER WITH MONEY AND ALL THAT)
WHEN THEY GET TO THE STATION, THEY BUY SINGLE TICKET FOR THE RETURN TRIP. TO THEIR ASTONISHMENT, THE EVERTONIANS DON’T BUY A TICKET AT ALL.
"HOW ARE ALL YOU GOING TO TRAVEL WITHOUT ANY TICKET?" SAYS ONE PERPLEXED RED. " WATCH AND LEARN," ANSWERS A BLUENOSE.
WHEN THEY BOARD THE TRAIN THE THREE KOPITES CRAM INTO A TOILET AND SOON AFTER THE THREE EVERTON FANS CRAM INTO ANOTHER NEARBY. THE TRAIN DEPARTS.
SHORTLY AFTERWARDS, ONE OF THE EVERTONIANS LEAVES THE TOILET AND WALKS OVER TO THE TOILET WHERE THE KOPITES ARE HIDING. HE KNOCKS ON THE DOOR AND SAYS, "TICKET PLEASE.”
AT THE STATION, THE THREE REDS BUY A TICKET AND WATCH AS THE THREE EVERTONIANS BUY JUST ONE TICKET BETWEEN THEM.
"HOW ARE THE THREE OF YOU GOING TO TRAVEL ON ONLY ONE TICKET?" ASKS ONE OF THE KOPITES.
"WATCH AND LEARN." ANSWERS ONE OF THE BLUE NOSES. THEY ALL BOARD THE TRAIN. THE KOPITES TAKE THEIR RESPECTIVE SEATS BUT ALL THREE EVERTONIANS CRAM INTO A TOILET AND CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND THEM.
SHORTLY AFTER THE CONDUCTOR COMES AROUND COLLECTING TICKETS. HE KNOCKS ON THE TOILET DOOR AND SAYS, "TICKETS PLEASE." THE DOOR OPENS AND A SINGLE ARM EMERGES WITH A TICKET IN HAND. THE CONDUCTOR TAKES IT AND MOVES ON.
THE KOPITES SEE THIS AND AGREE IT WAS QUITE A CLEVER IDEA. SO AFTER THE GAME, THEY DECIDE TO COPY THE EVERTON FANS ON THE RETURN TRIP AND SAVE SOME MONEY (BEING CLEVER WITH MONEY AND ALL THAT)
WHEN THEY GET TO THE STATION, THEY BUY SINGLE TICKET FOR THE RETURN TRIP. TO THEIR ASTONISHMENT, THE EVERTONIANS DON’T BUY A TICKET AT ALL.
"HOW ARE ALL YOU GOING TO TRAVEL WITHOUT ANY TICKET?" SAYS ONE PERPLEXED RED. " WATCH AND LEARN," ANSWERS A BLUENOSE.
WHEN THEY BOARD THE TRAIN THE THREE KOPITES CRAM INTO A TOILET AND SOON AFTER THE THREE EVERTON FANS CRAM INTO ANOTHER NEARBY. THE TRAIN DEPARTS.
SHORTLY AFTERWARDS, ONE OF THE EVERTONIANS LEAVES THE TOILET AND WALKS OVER TO THE TOILET WHERE THE KOPITES ARE HIDING. HE KNOCKS ON THE DOOR AND SAYS, "TICKET PLEASE.”
Jeez man!!! Quiet down abit!!
deipnosophist
Player Valuation: £80m
It was a copy and paste job mate lol
Fortuna stittard ?
Professor Toffee
On and on, over the hill and the craic is good
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
Ashtonian
Banned on request
Not sure if you are excited or angry telling that joke?
summerisle
The rain, it raineth every day
Why don't ants ever get sick ?
Because they have anty-bodies.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle ?
Attire.
Did you hear about the new courdroy pillows ?
They're making headlines.
Because they have anty-bodies.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle ?
Attire.
Did you hear about the new courdroy pillows ?
They're making headlines.
A pre-travel routine that's worth taking seriously...
Check your tickets!
Passport in order?
Bags packed?
And remember......................!
Trust you appreciate this! lollollollollol
Will give you the benefit of the doubt here and assume the images are funny.
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