Former Everton Centre Forward Duncan Ferguson steps into management.....

[maccavennie]

Macca right under the thumb now.

The only thumb I've been under mate is dirty Denise and that's because she bought some weird new karma sutra book so had me trying out a new manoeuvre simply known as the "fist of fury".

Ended up in hospital anyway with 2 broken thumbs. Luckily me mums being looking after me and I've been getting her to do all my text messages for me.

 

[Jimishorts]

The only thumb I've been under mate is dirty Denise and that's because she bought some weird new karma sutra book so had me trying out a new manoeuvre simply known as the "fist of fury".

Ended up in hospital anyway with 2 broken thumbs. Luckily me mums being looking after me and I've been getting her to do all my text messages for me.

 

[maccavennie]

View attachment 114733View attachment 114735

Looks like they've been taken direct from my phone, thats how accurate that is.

 

[Jimishorts]

Any update on Big Duncs stats @The Penalty Box Dancer ? Something like we had from page 1 of the thread.

 

[Yarrgh]

The only thumb I've been under mate is dirty Denise and that's because she bought some weird new karma sutra book so had me trying out a new manoeuvre simply known as the "fist of fury".

Ended up in hospital anyway with 2 broken thumbs. Luckily me mums being looking after me and I've been getting her to do all my text messages for me.

That explains why all the messages have better spelling and all the heart emojis recently.

 

[maccavennie]

That explains why all the messages have better spelling and all the heart emojis recently.

My mum has me spelling like Judy Dent from Countdown mate. She nearly cost me a date with Gabby goer a couple of days ago. Instead of just texting her "get round here and fix my Harpoon" she done this long message about thr Harvest Moon which is some kind of micro moon seen at a certain time of year.

Gabby doesn't want those type of conversations with me, she'd be expecting me to ask her to marry her next with such chatter. Nope, keep the talk to needing my harpoon sharpening and we all know where we stand

 

[Yarrgh]

My mum has me spelling like Judy Dent from Countdown mate. She nearly cost me a date with Gabby goer a couple of days ago. Instead of just texting her "get round here and fix my Harpoon" she done this long message about thr Harvest Moon which is some kind of micro moon seen at a certain time of year.

Gabby doesn't want those type of conversations with me, she'd be expecting me to ask her to marry her next with such chatter. Nope, keep the talk to needing my harpoon sharpening and we all know where we stand

You got a date with Gabby? Bloody hell, you'll be recovering from more than broken thumbs with her mate. She's bent more harpoons than Moby Dick.

 

[maccavennie]

You got a date with Gabby? Bloody hell, you'll be recovering from more than broken thumbs with her mate. She's bent more harpoons than Moby [Poor language removed].

Every days a fairground ride with Gabby mate!

 

[NeroCeasar]

My mum has me spelling like Judy Dent from Countdown mate. She nearly cost me a date with Gabby goer a couple of days ago. Instead of just texting her "get round here and fix my Harpoon" she done this long message about thr Harvest Moon which is some kind of micro moon seen at a certain time of year.

Gabby doesn't want those type of conversations with me, she'd be expecting me to ask her to marry her next with such chatter. Nope, keep the talk to needing my harpoon sharpening and we all know where we stand

How is your mother mate? Tell her I was asking for her

 

[The Penalty Box Dancer]

Any update on Big Duncs stats @The Penalty Box Dancer ? Something like we had from page 1 of the thread.

View attachment 114737

Will post that today

 

[maccavennie]

How is your mother mate? Tell her I was asking for her

She's doing great mate. Just getting her to run me a bath and do me a roast dinner for lunch and get me clothes ready for between lunch and tea and get her sort my dvd collection out and then get out and do me shopping then tea time and I've told her I want a curry and then its movie night so she'll have to go to bed then until its time for the dvd to be changed and I'll waker her up.

She's spot on me mum, she just loves doing stuff for me and the two times she accidentally stabbed me were deffo accidents.

 

[NeroCeasar]

She's doing great mate. Just getting her to run me a bath and do me a roast dinner for lunch and get me clothes ready for between lunch and tea and get her sort my dvd collection out and then get out and do me shopping then tea time and I've told her I want a curry and then its movie night so she'll have to go to bed then until its time for the dvd to be changed and I'll waker her up.

She's spot on me mum, she just loves doing stuff for me and the two times she accidentally stabbed me were deffo accidents.

Your refusal to testify against her both times showed just how strong yere bond actually is, if I'm honest I've always admired you for that

 

[maccavennie]

Your refusal to testify against her both times showed just how strong yere bond actually is, if I'm honest I've always admired you for that

Thanks mate, I honestly know how dodgy it sounds when I tell people she attacked me with a machete and caught me accidently 27 times where I needed 85 stitches. But I was dressed as an Amazon rainforest bush and she was trying to get to the kitchen so what would any other mum do but try and chop the bush down to gain access to the kitchen.

The 2nd time was obviously my fault as I ran into the knife whilst I was asleep lying down so no blame can be attached to her on that one either.

People just see things they wanna see mate and think the worst.

 

[cronullasharks]

Thanks mate, I honestly know how dodgy it sounds when I tell people she attacked me with a machete and caught me accidently 27 times where I needed 85 stitches. But I was dressed as an Amazon rainforest bush and she was trying to get to the kitchen so what would any other mum do but try and chop the bush down to gain access to the kitchen.

The 2nd time was obviously my fault as I ran into the knife whilst I was asleep lying down so no blame can be attached to her on that one either.

People just see things they wanna see mate and think the worst.

She still wake you up of a morning by tipping the boiling kettle water over you?

 

[maccavennie]

She still wake you up of a morning by tipping the boiling kettle water over you?

No mate she stopped that but thats only because I'd been turning the water mains off before I went to bed.

As soon as I'm awake for brunch I turn it back. Its a small price to pay I guess but her nerves are terrible and there's only so many dropped cups of hot tea on my Terry Todger that i can take