He must be 80
Former Everton Centre Forward Duncan Ferguson steps into management.....
- Thread starter The Penalty Box Dancer
- Start date
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
Haha 71 I think.
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
Aldershot vs AFC Fylde
26th April 2031
Two games to go and three points off the play-off places. Fylde have not won a game since 1st February against Port Vale and have been in a devastating free fall ever since. They were on joint points with Oldham back in February and are now 13 points adrift of them. Fylde now have an outside chance of a play-off place but would need to win their two remaining games for results to go their way. Jordan Wilson, Brett McGavin and Josh Ferguson were still injured so it was Daniel playing as the sole central midfielder. Euan Henderson was back in the team for Fylde. Jones took the free-kick for Fylde on 30 minutes, Henderson headed the ball towards goal and Feeney knocked it in but he was offside and the goal was ruled out. Ten minutes were left and Embid took control of the ball just inside the Aldershot half, played it wide to Jones who knocked it down the line for Henderson, he played it back to Embid and he passed forward to Marshall, Marshall turned and playd it quickly into the box for Bytheway who controlled it well and crossed at the byline for Tyrone O'Neill to head at close range! 1-0! If Fylde can run the last ten minutes down they can pick up a much needed win, Bytheway took the ball from the cleared Aldershot corner and ran forward down the left, he played it low into the box for Tyrone O'Neill to bury past the keeper! But the flag went up and O'Neill strided slightly offside when the ball came in. Seconds remained and Aldershot had one last chance, Robinson threw it to Spronson on the edge of the Fylde box, Robinson tried the cross but it was closed down well by Henderson and the whistle is blown! Fylde are victorious!
DF: I don't think we can do it now, we are too far behind and we cost ourselves the opportunity over the last two months. Luton are fighting for survival to stop a consecutive relegation and will not be a walkover next weekend. We have to aim to do our job and hope we have a bit of luck in the other games.
PLAYER RATINGS
26th April 2031
=
Two games to go and three points off the play-off places. Fylde have not won a game since 1st February against Port Vale and have been in a devastating free fall ever since. They were on joint points with Oldham back in February and are now 13 points adrift of them. Fylde now have an outside chance of a play-off place but would need to win their two remaining games for results to go their way. Jordan Wilson, Brett McGavin and Josh Ferguson were still injured so it was Daniel playing as the sole central midfielder. Euan Henderson was back in the team for Fylde. Jones took the free-kick for Fylde on 30 minutes, Henderson headed the ball towards goal and Feeney knocked it in but he was offside and the goal was ruled out. Ten minutes were left and Embid took control of the ball just inside the Aldershot half, played it wide to Jones who knocked it down the line for Henderson, he played it back to Embid and he passed forward to Marshall, Marshall turned and playd it quickly into the box for Bytheway who controlled it well and crossed at the byline for Tyrone O'Neill to head at close range! 1-0! If Fylde can run the last ten minutes down they can pick up a much needed win, Bytheway took the ball from the cleared Aldershot corner and ran forward down the left, he played it low into the box for Tyrone O'Neill to bury past the keeper! But the flag went up and O'Neill strided slightly offside when the ball came in. Seconds remained and Aldershot had one last chance, Robinson threw it to Spronson on the edge of the Fylde box, Robinson tried the cross but it was closed down well by Henderson and the whistle is blown! Fylde are victorious!
DF: I don't think we can do it now, we are too far behind and we cost ourselves the opportunity over the last two months. Luton are fighting for survival to stop a consecutive relegation and will not be a walkover next weekend. We have to aim to do our job and hope we have a bit of luck in the other games.
PLAYER RATINGS
LEAGUE TABLE
Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
Oh a victory. Nice of the lads to show up for a change. WARD OUT!
Taking down the giants that are Aldershot.
It’s on people.
UTFC
#wardout
It’s on people.
UTFC
#wardout
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
AFC Fylde vs Luton Town
3rd May 2031
The last day of the 2030/31 season and what a dramatic end it has turned into. Fylde were comfortably third not so long ago but now require a win to stand any chance of a play-off place. The crowd roared the players out at Mill Farm with their last bit of hope they have left this season. John Jones was getting forward down the left well and will be a huge miss for Fylde when he returns to Leciester City at the end of the season. Fylde were playing good football and Brett McGavin found space for himself on the edge of the box forcing a good save from the keeper. 27 minutes gone and Joe Powell pulled off a piece of magic when he curled his free-kick around the Fylde wall and past Dube to make it 1-0. Fylde went in to half-time with their heads down and the goal seemed to have deflated them. Brett McGavin made way for Josh Maja on 60 minutes. Two minutes later Stockbridge got the ball down the right and crossed into the penalty box for Henderson to nudge it home to level the score! His 19th of the season! Sunderland and Mansfield Town were winning so Fylde would miss out on play-offs as things stand. Declan Marshall played it forward to Maja who dropped deeper, he played it to Tyrone O'Neill, O'Neill sent the ball right for Bytheway to chase and he got there, he crossed into the bx beautifully and Marshall headed against the bar. Daniel Embid tackled brilliantly in the centre of the park and Alan O'Neill took the loose ball and passed it to Marshall, he tried the long ball forward for Henderson but Cooper got there first and played it back to his keeper. The keeper played the ball long and Steven Stockbridge read the game well, he played it long for second half substitute Victor Oto'o to chase, he got on the end of it and slotted past the keeper to make it 2-1! Great turnaround from Fylde! As it stands Luton will be relegated to League Two and will need a win to survive. Fylde defended well in stoppage time and got the ball up the other end of the pitch with seconds remaining. It's a win for Fylde but it's not good news as they miss out on play-offs. They required too much going into the last game of the season and will miss out this season.
DF: We won the game, great turnaround in the second half. Am I gutted? Too right I am, we had the chance to go up this season but it was all our own undoing. I'm sorry to all of the fans, they have been great this season and they are always behind us. This club will continue to be great. They are an established League One team and nobody would never have expected that. We have to come back stronger again and be ready for the new season.
PLAYER RATINGS
3rd May 2031
=
The last day of the 2030/31 season and what a dramatic end it has turned into. Fylde were comfortably third not so long ago but now require a win to stand any chance of a play-off place. The crowd roared the players out at Mill Farm with their last bit of hope they have left this season. John Jones was getting forward down the left well and will be a huge miss for Fylde when he returns to Leciester City at the end of the season. Fylde were playing good football and Brett McGavin found space for himself on the edge of the box forcing a good save from the keeper. 27 minutes gone and Joe Powell pulled off a piece of magic when he curled his free-kick around the Fylde wall and past Dube to make it 1-0. Fylde went in to half-time with their heads down and the goal seemed to have deflated them. Brett McGavin made way for Josh Maja on 60 minutes. Two minutes later Stockbridge got the ball down the right and crossed into the penalty box for Henderson to nudge it home to level the score! His 19th of the season! Sunderland and Mansfield Town were winning so Fylde would miss out on play-offs as things stand. Declan Marshall played it forward to Maja who dropped deeper, he played it to Tyrone O'Neill, O'Neill sent the ball right for Bytheway to chase and he got there, he crossed into the bx beautifully and Marshall headed against the bar. Daniel Embid tackled brilliantly in the centre of the park and Alan O'Neill took the loose ball and passed it to Marshall, he tried the long ball forward for Henderson but Cooper got there first and played it back to his keeper. The keeper played the ball long and Steven Stockbridge read the game well, he played it long for second half substitute Victor Oto'o to chase, he got on the end of it and slotted past the keeper to make it 2-1! Great turnaround from Fylde! As it stands Luton will be relegated to League Two and will need a win to survive. Fylde defended well in stoppage time and got the ball up the other end of the pitch with seconds remaining. It's a win for Fylde but it's not good news as they miss out on play-offs. They required too much going into the last game of the season and will miss out this season.
DF: We won the game, great turnaround in the second half. Am I gutted? Too right I am, we had the chance to go up this season but it was all our own undoing. I'm sorry to all of the fans, they have been great this season and they are always behind us. This club will continue to be great. They are an established League One team and nobody would never have expected that. We have to come back stronger again and be ready for the new season.
PLAYER RATINGS
LEAGUE TABLE
wainy
Player Valuation: £35m
[Poor language removed]
Prepare the kidnapping bus
Ward out is right @Yarrgh
Well another season done and dusted. Thought we were on for promotion then the playoffs now we finish up sitting dejected in 9th, just as dejected as me sitting in the bathroom all night with a bottle of Pinot Grigio listening to Elton John on repeat and lamenting what could have been this year.
Is this it for Fylde? Is this it for the fans? Is this it for the thread?
We’ve had the taste of the championship promised land. It’s was like getting into the champions league and getting screwed over by some balding, bug eyed, gimp of a retired referee. Did we fly too close to the sun in our early years the heady days of playoff finals and automatic promotion seem like a beautiful distant memory. Will we ever again see those glamour ties of Brentford, Hull and Fleetwood, I doubt it.
So what next for Dunc? What next for Beats (community service in his England tracksuit I’m guessing) but more importantly what next for Ward(spit). That absolute shyster has been asset stripping since the day he rocked up. This years casualties include, Neil Foster, replaced by some bloke who worked out the back of Home Bargains and is partial to the odd spliff. Alan ‘the rock‘ O’Neil absolute beast of a centre back, sold off. He’s the kind of bloke you build title winning teams around and selling off Micky f’kin Wiz, well that was the final straw.
Not sure where we go from here thank god Hendo’s fiesta is on finance for another year otherwise I’m sure one of the ‘big boys’ would be snapping him up. All the time Ward is here we’re only going one way and that’s down the plug hole.
Anyway rant over. Here’s for next season coasters. I’m going back to some Elton John.
*to the tune of tiny dancer
Hold me closer Jimmy Jeffers
Piano intro
Jimmy baby
Fylde ladies
Harpoons in the hand
Wards on board
He’s a fraud
You married a football man
Forest green
You must of seen ‘em
Eating vegan food
And now it’s Fylde
It’s always wild
Jimmy Jeffers in my hand
Fylde freaks
Out in the streets
Handing tickets out from Dunc
Looking back
He just laughed
Shouldn’t have burglarized his gaff
He’s the man
Should have a stand
In the ground that is Mill Farm
We belong
And sing the song
The tunes we know
We like to bum
But now it’s turned so grim
Now that the ward is in
If only he would leave
Now we say f’off wardy
Hold me closer Jimmy Jeffers
Count the skid marks on the chimney
Lay me down on packs of frazzles
I had a swan pasty today
Hold me closer, Jimmy Jeffers
Count the vanarama trophies
Lay me down on Maccas ma
I’ve had a busy day today
Jimmy Baby
Fylde ladies
Harpoons in the hand
Wards on board
He’s a fraud
You married a football man
Forest Green
You must of seen ‘em
Eating vegan food
Now it’s Fylde
We’re just wild
Jimmy Jeffers in my hand
Oh, how it feels so real
Lying here here with Maccas ma
And she just grunts , so quietly
And I say softly, slowly
Hold me closer Jimmy Jeffers
Count the skid marks on the chimney
Lay me down on packs of frazzles
I had a swan pasty today
Hold me closer Jimmy Jeffers
Count the skid marks on the chimney
Lay me down on packs of frazzles
I had a swan pasty today
Hold me closer Jimmy Jeffers
Piano intro
Jimmy baby
Fylde ladies
Harpoons in the hand
Wards on board
He’s a fraud
You married a football man
Forest green
You must of seen ‘em
Eating vegan food
And now it’s Fylde
It’s always wild
Jimmy Jeffers in my hand
Fylde freaks
Out in the streets
Handing tickets out from Dunc
Looking back
He just laughed
Shouldn’t have burglarized his gaff
He’s the man
Should have a stand
In the ground that is Mill Farm
We belong
And sing the song
The tunes we know
We like to bum
But now it’s turned so grim
Now that the ward is in
If only he would leave
Now we say f’off wardy
Hold me closer Jimmy Jeffers
Count the skid marks on the chimney
Lay me down on packs of frazzles
I had a swan pasty today
Hold me closer, Jimmy Jeffers
Count the vanarama trophies
Lay me down on Maccas ma
I’ve had a busy day today
Jimmy Baby
Fylde ladies
Harpoons in the hand
Wards on board
He’s a fraud
You married a football man
Forest Green
You must of seen ‘em
Eating vegan food
Now it’s Fylde
We’re just wild
Jimmy Jeffers in my hand
Oh, how it feels so real
Lying here here with Maccas ma
And she just grunts , so quietly
And I say softly, slowly
Hold me closer Jimmy Jeffers
Count the skid marks on the chimney
Lay me down on packs of frazzles
I had a swan pasty today
Hold me closer Jimmy Jeffers
Count the skid marks on the chimney
Lay me down on packs of frazzles
I had a swan pasty today
wainy
Player Valuation: £35m
Absolute smash hit, this.
mmmmsnouts
Player Valuation: £40m
Have to say my interest in this save is waning with this fraud chairman sandbagging the club. With his record, our man Dunc could surely get a much better job than this now. The thread was all about him, not Fylde.
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