Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
"In many ways, he lived as he died. Up a ladder in a mankini with a tramp mask on. He joins a select band with Dr Fun and Badgeman in the big stand in the sky his life's work continued by Fanta Scruff, Fountain Scruff, Traffic Light Scruff..."The funeral though.
"He was a good man. His family loved him, as did everyone who knew him.
... Yes, he died falling off a lampost in a mankini wearing a Jurgen Klopp mask while pissed, but let's remember the good times about ladder non- I mean, John."