Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[YoboCopter]

There's been quite a few suicides in my area lately so think we all need to remember we can always do more to check up on people we know might struggle but more importartly to check in on those you think wouldn't struggle.

Yep and only gunna get worse isnt it with the impending job loss’s etc

 

[Earwigjoe]

Thanks for checking in mate! I'm hanging in there. Woke up feeling pretty down today but just trying to put things in perspective and realize the things I am lucky to have right now (a job and my family and them being relatively healthy atm). Yes the suns are playing very well at the moment. I got to see them in person like 10 years ago vs the 76ers. Haven't been out to Arizona. It was a 76ers game and they were not good at the time so tickets were easy haha Boston has such a large fanbase and is successful so I'm not surprised by you ticket troubles. I hope you're doing well

Well USA you gotta be smiling today another win for the sun's. You got me following them now 76ers tomorrow Philly teams not so good. I seen Steelers beat Eagles 21-16 and Pirates beat Phillies a couple of times. Haha What about the Union are they any good? You're right mate we gotta put life into perspective more often and be grateful for what we have and who we have in our lives, especially family they can do our heads in at times but they're our everything if we're lucky enough to have good ones - I think that's the biggest thing I've learnt through this pandemic. Keep safe, keep smiling and Go Sun's.

 

[USABlue]

Well USA you gotta be smiling today another win for the sun's. You got me following them now 76ers tomorrow Philly teams not so good. I seen Steelers beat Eagles 21-16 and Pirates beat Phillies a couple of times. Haha What about the Union are they any good? You're right mate we gotta put life into perspective more often and be grateful for what we have and who we have in our lives, especially family they can do our heads in at times but they're our everything if we're lucky enough to have good ones - I think that's the biggest thing I've learnt through this pandemic. Keep safe, keep smiling and Go Sun's.

I've seen the Union play twice and I think they won both. I saw them beat NYC FC once which was pretty cool because David Villa was playing for NY and got to see him score a pen. Traditionally I don't think they won much though. The Suns are on a roll lately, most fun I've had watching basketball in 10 years. I appreciate the support mate and hope all is well on your end as well!

 

[Hogwild]

I don’t know why I am posting this but I guess I need to get it out somewhere...

Lost my Dad last night. Though in truth I think I lost him 10 years ago when I lost my Mom.

He has struggled mightily with alcoholism in the intervening years and it wreaked havoc on his life.

Im struggling with how I feel now. Am over 40 but still not ready to have no parent And have no siblings to share with, though I am lucky to be blessed with a wife and two sons.

I guess I just feel hollow, and regret. I am fortunate in that I know my dad loved me and I know that he knew I loved him, but our relationship, though we talked most every day so I could be sure he was getting on okay, wasn’t perfect. I know I could have done better.

I’ve been lying awake the last 4 hours and finally thought maybe writing something would help.

Thanks for listening.

 

[COYBL25]

I don’t know why I am posting this but I guess I need to get it out somewhere...

Lost my Dad last night. Though in truth I think I lost him 10 years ago when I lost my Mom.

He has struggled mightily with alcoholism in the intervening years and it wreaked havoc on his life.

Im struggling with how I feel now. Am over 40 but still not ready to have no parent And have no siblings to share with, though I am lucky to be blessed with a wife and two sons.

I guess I just feel hollow, and regret. I am fortunate in that I know my dad loved me and I know that he knew I loved him, but our relationship, though we talked most every day so I could be sure he was getting on okay, wasn’t perfect. I know I could have done better.

I’ve been lying awake the last 4 hours and finally thought maybe writing something would help.

Thanks for listening.

I`m really sorry for your loss mate.

I`m sure you`re missus will want to support you in anyway she can, have you spoken to her yet ?

I know it`s easy for me to say, but try not to beat yourself up too much and try to look on the positives of your relationship with your Dad, rather than the negatives.

No one will judge you on here mate, so keep posting, even if it`s just to get stuff off your chest.

There`ll be many who`ve been in your shoes and someone who will always get back to you x

 

[Bluetintedspecs]

I don’t know why I am posting this but I guess I need to get it out somewhere...

Lost my Dad last night. Though in truth I think I lost him 10 years ago when I lost my Mom.

He has struggled mightily with alcoholism in the intervening years and it wreaked havoc on his life.

Im struggling with how I feel now. Am over 40 but still not ready to have no parent And have no siblings to share with, though I am lucky to be blessed with a wife and two sons.

I guess I just feel hollow, and regret. I am fortunate in that I know my dad loved me and I know that he knew I loved him, but our relationship, though we talked most every day so I could be sure he was getting on okay, wasn’t perfect. I know I could have done better.

I’ve been lying awake the last 4 hours and finally thought maybe writing something would help.

Thanks for listening.

Sorry to hear that, mate. My condolences.

Try not to be too hard on yourself. We'd all have done things differently with the benefit of hindsight, so give yourself a break. No point brooding about what you could or should have done because you can't change the past. Sometimes people with serious addictions can't be helped no matter how much their loved ones try.

Focus on what you can influence, such as being the best dad you can be for your sons. Also, when you talk about your dad, mention all the the good memories you have of him, rather than focusing on the darker stuff.

 

[Earwigjoe]

I don’t know why I am posting this but I guess I need to get it out somewhere...

Lost my Dad last night. Though in truth I think I lost him 10 years ago when I lost my Mom.

He has struggled mightily with alcoholism in the intervening years and it wreaked havoc on his life.

Im struggling with how I feel now. Am over 40 but still not ready to have no parent And have no siblings to share with, though I am lucky to be blessed with a wife and two sons.

I guess I just feel hollow, and regret. I am fortunate in that I know my dad loved me and I know that he knew I loved him, but our relationship, though we talked most every day so I could be sure he was getting on okay, wasn’t perfect. I know I could have done better.

I’ve been lying awake the last 4 hours and finally thought maybe writing something would help.

Thanks for listening.

I'm heartbroken for you mate, fairplay to you for letting it out. I'm glad you got to speak to him everyday and he knew you loved him and vice versa. No regrets. Father son relationship is special . He seems like a good father too to raise a son so considerate and loving. You get his and your mums picture on the wall and tell his 2 grandsons how wonderful their Granny and Granda are. Ps you're going to be OK your 2 sons will be there for you like you were there for him it's in your genes. I'm praying for yous. God bless.

 

[Woolly Blue]

I know I could have done better.

Maybe you could, but, hand on heart, i think looking back on most things in life, most of us could say we could have done better. Having "what if" thoughts is part of what makes us human. I'm always a bit wary of people who say they have no regrets, it suggests a lack of understanding.

He wasn't perfect, and neither are you, but you loved him and he loved you, and, end of the day, that's pretty much what counts in life.

 

[witchdoc187]

I don’t know why I am posting this but I guess I need to get it out somewhere...

Lost my Dad last night. Though in truth I think I lost him 10 years ago when I lost my Mom.

He has struggled mightily with alcoholism in the intervening years and it wreaked havoc on his life.

Im struggling with how I feel now. Am over 40 but still not ready to have no parent And have no siblings to share with, though I am lucky to be blessed with a wife and two sons.

I guess I just feel hollow, and regret. I am fortunate in that I know my dad loved me and I know that he knew I loved him, but our relationship, though we talked most every day so I could be sure he was getting on okay, wasn’t perfect. I know I could have done better.

I’ve been lying awake the last 4 hours and finally thought maybe writing something would help.

Thanks for listening.

Really good that you shared that mate because putting it into writing will help ease the pain. Whenever we lose someone we always think of what we could have done better. That's just natural. I'm sorry for your loss mate.

 

[witchdoc187]

I've been struggling recently with alcohol again. Going through a stressful time needed to numb the stress. Doesn't help the next day and makes everything worse. Anyway, I'm getting there 10 days since I last drank. The reason I'm posting is because I've just done my first hypnosis session yesterday and it was really really helpful. Anyone any experience on this? Can share how you got on?

 

[Hogwild]

Thank you so much for all of the kind thoughts, it helps having places like this forum, and this thread in particular, to allow for expression. I know bottling things in is bad, did that with my Mom 10 years ago, but also don’t want to burden or worry my missus and boys.

I appreciate you all.

 

[COYBL25]

Thank you so much for all of the kind thoughts, it helps having places like this forum, and this thread in particular, to allow for expression. I know bottling things in is bad, did that with my Mom 10 years ago, but also don’t want to burden or worry my missus and boys.

I appreciate you all.

The charity - Mind may be able to help you too mate.

They have a thread on there relating to bereavement and everything that surrounds bereavement.

Keep posting mate, you aren’t alone on here.

 

[Spotty]

I don’t know why I am posting this but I guess I need to get it out somewhere...

Lost my Dad last night. Though in truth I think I lost him 10 years ago when I lost my Mom.

He has struggled mightily with alcoholism in the intervening years and it wreaked havoc on his life.

Im struggling with how I feel now. Am over 40 but still not ready to have no parent And have no siblings to share with, though I am lucky to be blessed with a wife and two sons.

I guess I just feel hollow, and regret. I am fortunate in that I know my dad loved me and I know that he knew I loved him, but our relationship, though we talked most every day so I could be sure he was getting on okay, wasn’t perfect. I know I could have done better.

I’ve been lying awake the last 4 hours and finally thought maybe writing something would help.

Thanks for listening.

Sorry for your loss. There was much what you said resonated with me. I lost Dad through alcoholism - self harm for him really - a number of years ago. Think of him often and I'm filled with anger sometimes. Had my two boys as toddlers and they missed out on him as a grandad. When you lose someone there isn't a template for " dealing with it ". There are stages to the grieving process. If just tells you what you " should / could " be feeling. For me grieving is a horse's for courses process. Example my mum had a stroke , brought 5 of us up on her own, and frankly she didn't " deserve " losing her sight, being in a wheelchair and she was suffering so I wanted her to go. As a Catholic I had many a conversation or " frank discussion " with God - about fairness and all that. So mum and dad's death were so different. My humble opinion is this. Time can be a good healer and although a cliché, is so apt. I liken grieving to getting a sharp prod in your heart daily, but the sharpness gets blunter. You can feel it but over time, the pain gets blunter. Seek help if you feel it is having an adverse affect on your life, becoming all encompassing. If you feel that as time goes by, the pain lessens, then all well and good. You'll probably get to a stage when there will be a day or two when you don't think about him. It's normal. As I say I wish there was a " reference book " for helping grieving people but there isn't. I just hope for you the pain gets a little less for you over time. ( Try to avoid listening to Mike and the Mechanics, as one of their tracks is very poignant for all of us who have lost a dad ). Good luck buddy.

 

[witchdoc187]

Thank you so much for all of the kind thoughts, it helps having places like this forum, and this thread in particular, to allow for expression. I know bottling things in is bad, did that with my Mom 10 years ago, but also don’t want to burden or worry my missus and boys.

I appreciate you all.

Thing is mate, in my opinion, is better to let these things out. Nothing wrong with crying in front of your family, let's the young ones know it's ok to cry. Plus shows your're human mate. Take care

 

[Earwigjoe]

Sorry for your loss. There was much what you said resonated with me. I lost Dad through alcoholism - self harm for him really - a number of years ago. Think of him often and I'm filled with anger sometimes. Had my two boys as toddlers and they missed out on him as a grandad. When you lose someone there isn't a template for " dealing with it ". There are stages to the grieving process. If just tells you what you " should / could " be feeling. For me grieving is a horse's for courses process. Example my mum had a stroke , brought 5 of us up on her own, and frankly she didn't " deserve " losing her sight, being in a wheelchair and she was suffering so I wanted her to go. As a Catholic I had many a conversation or " frank discussion " with God - about fairness and all that. So mum and dad's death were so different. My humble opinion is this. Time can be a good healer and although a cliché, is so apt. I liken grieving to getting a sharp prod in your heart daily, but the sharpness gets blunter. You can feel it but over time, the pain gets blunter. Seek help if you feel it is having an adverse affect on your life, becoming all encompassing. If you feel that as time goes by, the pain lessens, then all well and good. You'll probably get to a stage when there will be a day or two when you don't think about him. It's normal. As I say I wish there was a " reference book " for helping grieving people but there isn't. I just hope for you the pain gets a little less for you over time. ( Try to avoid listening to Mike and the Mechanics, as one of their tracks is very poignant for all of us who have lost a dad ). Good luck buddy.

Good luck to you too Spotty that was really sad but also beautiful. Your mum sounded amazing. Goodnight and God bless fellow blues and always remember to tell those you love that you love them.