Toast
Player Valuation: £80m
Good watch that.
Good watch that.
brieverton
Player Valuation: £40m
So getting a degree changes your life. For the better or for worse? I got my degree in the summer, first class n all - yay me. Was going to go straight into a research masters but wasn’t fully sold on the idea I’d chosen so was advised to have a year out to make an informed decision. So I get a part time postie job which turned out to be a bit shambolic with uncertainty over hours and bullying throughout the tiers of management etc. I ended up leaving and heading back to Sainsburys where I used to work years ago as I know the manager so it was a good way to just switch jobs for the time being. The downfall of this is that it is 4am starts four times a week (4-8) plus one afternoon shift in the middle. I used to do it and struggled with the sleep etc. But my god it’s terrible now. Within a few days I could feel my mood had changed and the lack of sleep etc just takes it’s toll (I can never sleep properly before the shift!!). So I am feeling pretty miserable about it all and have been trying for a couple of months now to find an alternative (either part time or full time to tide me over whilst I make up my mind re my studies). Nowhere will touch you with a bargepole if you have a degree it seems! I’d prefer part time work really so I could stick with it if and when I go back to uni. Certainly no companies with part time positions seem to even entertain the idea of employing me.
So the point of this is that I just feel so miserable. The lack of sleep is just killing my mood and I feel so helpless as I am trying hard to find alternatives and seem like I am stuck. It’s hard not to feel pretty negative about all of this as I have always worked hard, always had a job, even alongside my studies (I went back as a mature student and sacrificed the full time income etc!)... and I worked hard to get the degree I did, and then I feel like you come out in a worse position than before you had the degree!
I’m not sure if any of this makes sense but I’m just struggling to feel any positivity right now regarding my position. I feel like I’m in limbo and I can’t do anything about it. I want to work, I want to earn money, I want to feel like I am worth something, but I want to sleep adequately also!! And often advice is that there are people worse off than me and I have so much going for me etc. I appreciate that, I really do, but you know when you’re just so dissatisfied with where you think you should be because of how hard you’ve worked etc? Maybe I’m being too negative. I know a lot of people have it worse or just get on with it. I just need to get this all out and hope someone can advise me or tell me about some kind of job that I can jump at!! If there are any fellow 3am risers then please, let’s chat 
So the point of this is that I just feel so miserable. The lack of sleep is just killing my mood and I feel so helpless as I am trying hard to find alternatives and seem like I am stuck. It’s hard not to feel pretty negative about all of this as I have always worked hard, always had a job, even alongside my studies (I went back as a mature student and sacrificed the full time income etc!)... and I worked hard to get the degree I did, and then I feel like you come out in a worse position than before you had the degree!
I’m not sure if any of this makes sense but I’m just struggling to feel any positivity right now regarding my position. I feel like I’m in limbo and I can’t do anything about it. I want to work, I want to earn money, I want to feel like I am worth something, but I want to sleep adequately also!! And often advice is that there are people worse off than me and I have so much going for me etc. I appreciate that, I really do, but you know when you’re just so dissatisfied with where you think you should be because of how hard you’ve worked etc? Maybe I’m being too negative. I know a lot of people have it worse or just get on with it. I just need to get this all out and hope someone can advise me or tell me about some kind of job that I can jump at!! If there are any fellow 3am risers then please, let’s chat
Have you got a driving licence mate ?
There’s loads and loads of part time driving jobs out there. Many in which you can work your own hours - Yodel etc.
efcforever
Player Valuation: £10m
Have you tried going to the doctor's for something to help you sleep? My wife worked nights a few years back and the only way she could sleep before a shift was to take nytol.
As for the job applications, have you tried simply neglecting to mention that you have a degree?
First of all, so sorry about your Nan. I see loads of this in my job - not particularly family members but Care workers robbing the old folk they are supposed to look after. Have the bank admitted any kind of liability. They should have identified irregularities in the frequency and amounts of money being withdrawn. It's certainly worth a letter of complaint. Did your Nan own her own house. You might want to make sure she still does - if your aunt had power of attorney she could have changed the ownership - although Land Registry ( my old employer) are very good at spotting potential fraud. It's easy to do, you can go on line and check. Will cost you £3
I do yeah and have done delivery driving for Sainsburys before so quite like it, I just always look at the reviews for those things and they’re never very good. Do you know what it’s meant to be like?!
I have been taking Nytol that you can get over the counter. It seems to work but leaves me dazed the next day! Might be something I have to deal with
I have considered that recently yes!! I worked alongside the degree so at least an employment gap won’t show up if I take it off. Feels a bit dishonest but not sure I have much choice!!
Cookmysock
Player Valuation: £1.5m
first off sorry for your loss. and dont apologise for posting. I've just read your post to my missus and her advice is to do what you think your nan would do in this situation.
Kenshin
Player Valuation: £40m
Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply . I have been reading them all and hopefully I can now respond to you.
We haven't but then we don't want to raise the issue beforehand in case it led to issues ahead of the funeral . That and covering tracks if that is at possible.
We are going tomorrow.
We don't really want to bring it all out in the open ahead of the funeral. As you can probably imagine but we don't want to let it all rest.
It was a nominated person of sorts on the account. So she was going on her behalf to withdraw money. So when there was returns to the bank, bigger withdrawals at events such as holidays etc it's clear to see the pattern.
Luckily so much of my mum's life was traceable from holiday payments to bills. Any accusations thrown her way won't stick.
This will all need to come out eventually to everyone and I have no idea how it will go down on my uncles side of things as they are the old fashioned type of family. Will they turn on is or disown him?
The opposite. She was close to some extent whilst living her own life. Seen her at holidays, had contact and even my uncle I grew up looking up to.
Cheers, horrible that this sort of thing isn't that uncommon in the world.
Cheers. The thing is despite being close, if the tables were turned then I imagine this would be going the same way. They would have been straight down the police station. This is ripping the family apart for sure but even if you cut ties and never spoke to them again, how does that make things better? They get away with it without any come back I guess.
She didn't . It was a sheltered flat of sorts. We need to double check tomorrow if any rent was being paid and how much etc. We plan to pull bills and reciepts she has kept to see to what extent this has been.
To give you an update. We are going the police station tomorrow. The more we talk about it the worse it gets. I mean at some point in time there could have been thousands in that account never mind what was taken since. We need to check the new years eve withdrawal as I'm dreading it's after they knew she was dying that day.
I have to be honest, spending 3 days talking about it made us so sure this was the right thing to do. At the 11th hour it's tearing me apart though. I grew up with them , I looked up to my uncle and modelled myself on him. These people called me son and treated me as one of their own. Yet when all is said and done, the face they see may be my mum's but it's.going to be me holding the knife.
It's the typical head over heart. I know the right thing to do is to go the police and we will do tomorrow . It's not about money, it's about my nan. All the times she had to wait for money, all the times she was left with a tenner in her purse with over a thousand in the bank that had gone in and taken out. But it still tears me apart inside knowing what I'm going to do and how much of a betrayal it will be from a family viewpoint.
My nan wasn't tight. She would give money to anyone who needed it. If I asked for a grand then she would give it to me and forget the debt, not that I ever did. To know she died with essentially not even a penny to her name , I can't let that go.
It just doesn't stop it eating me up inside after tomorrow. To know the next time I see them will be at the funeral knowing what I have done or with them knowing it.
And come Monday it's back to work and I have to pretend that none of this is happening. I have no idea how I will do that but I'm going to have to try.
We haven't but then we don't want to raise the issue beforehand in case it led to issues ahead of the funeral . That and covering tracks if that is at possible.
We are going tomorrow.
We don't really want to bring it all out in the open ahead of the funeral. As you can probably imagine but we don't want to let it all rest.
It was a nominated person of sorts on the account. So she was going on her behalf to withdraw money. So when there was returns to the bank, bigger withdrawals at events such as holidays etc it's clear to see the pattern.
Luckily so much of my mum's life was traceable from holiday payments to bills. Any accusations thrown her way won't stick.
This will all need to come out eventually to everyone and I have no idea how it will go down on my uncles side of things as they are the old fashioned type of family. Will they turn on is or disown him?
The opposite. She was close to some extent whilst living her own life. Seen her at holidays, had contact and even my uncle I grew up looking up to.
Cheers, horrible that this sort of thing isn't that uncommon in the world.
Cheers. The thing is despite being close, if the tables were turned then I imagine this would be going the same way. They would have been straight down the police station. This is ripping the family apart for sure but even if you cut ties and never spoke to them again, how does that make things better? They get away with it without any come back I guess.
She didn't . It was a sheltered flat of sorts. We need to double check tomorrow if any rent was being paid and how much etc. We plan to pull bills and reciepts she has kept to see to what extent this has been.
She wouldn't want to do anything but I imagine it would break her heart.
To give you an update. We are going the police station tomorrow. The more we talk about it the worse it gets. I mean at some point in time there could have been thousands in that account never mind what was taken since. We need to check the new years eve withdrawal as I'm dreading it's after they knew she was dying that day.
I have to be honest, spending 3 days talking about it made us so sure this was the right thing to do. At the 11th hour it's tearing me apart though. I grew up with them , I looked up to my uncle and modelled myself on him. These people called me son and treated me as one of their own. Yet when all is said and done, the face they see may be my mum's but it's.going to be me holding the knife.
It's the typical head over heart. I know the right thing to do is to go the police and we will do tomorrow . It's not about money, it's about my nan. All the times she had to wait for money, all the times she was left with a tenner in her purse with over a thousand in the bank that had gone in and taken out. But it still tears me apart inside knowing what I'm going to do and how much of a betrayal it will be from a family viewpoint.
My nan wasn't tight. She would give money to anyone who needed it. If I asked for a grand then she would give it to me and forget the debt, not that I ever did. To know she died with essentially not even a penny to her name , I can't let that go.
It just doesn't stop it eating me up inside after tomorrow. To know the next time I see them will be at the funeral knowing what I have done or with them knowing it.
And come Monday it's back to work and I have to pretend that none of this is happening. I have no idea how I will do that but I'm going to have to try.
Disgruntledgoat
Player Valuation: £50m
@Kenshin
Your maturity and attitude to this is a credit to you and your upbringing. You haven't once made it about the money, it's always about depriving your grandmother of what was hers.
Its heartbreaking that you have to do this, but you're doing the right thing by all concerned. Stay strong and I hope it works out the best way possible for all concerned.
Never sure what to say to somebody going to a funeral... "enjoy it" obviously isn't right. But I hope it reminds you of your nan and that you can see how she was loved.
Best wishes.
Your maturity and attitude to this is a credit to you and your upbringing. You haven't once made it about the money, it's always about depriving your grandmother of what was hers.
Its heartbreaking that you have to do this, but you're doing the right thing by all concerned. Stay strong and I hope it works out the best way possible for all concerned.
Never sure what to say to somebody going to a funeral... "enjoy it" obviously isn't right. But I hope it reminds you of your nan and that you can see how she was loved.
Best wishes.
@Kenshin I don't know where you work but is there any capacity for you to get some time off to sort this out? Does your employer have a policy that covers "domestic emergencies" or even bereavement leave. If you have a decent relationship with your boss could you explain what has happened and ask them for a few days off while you deal with this additional awful situation.
i understand all your feelings about your aunt, But look at the emotional harm she has caused to you and your Mum by her actions. I wouldn't feel too sorry for her. It may be very hard to get any sort of resolution from the police. It may come down to one person's word against another. Your aunt may say your Nan told her she could have whatever she wanted from the account which would be difficult to disprove. However I still think you are doing the right thing by contacting them. They will probably speak to the bank as well. I hope the funeral goes well and you have lots of fond memories of your Nan that you can think about and smile at while you are saying your final goodbye to her x
i understand all your feelings about your aunt, But look at the emotional harm she has caused to you and your Mum by her actions. I wouldn't feel too sorry for her. It may be very hard to get any sort of resolution from the police. It may come down to one person's word against another. Your aunt may say your Nan told her she could have whatever she wanted from the account which would be difficult to disprove. However I still think you are doing the right thing by contacting them. They will probably speak to the bank as well. I hope the funeral goes well and you have lots of fond memories of your Nan that you can think about and smile at while you are saying your final goodbye to her x
We had a lecture at work yesterday from one of the world's (apparent) leading sleep experts and it was really quite informative and interesting for people like me that have always had issues regarding sleep and the effects it has on my mind & body.
Hi mate,
For what it’s worth I think you’re doing the right thing.
With regards to the police, I would ask to make an appointment to see a member of the CID, as this is gonna be so complex, time consuming and with a massive paper trail, it needs someone who will be able to spend time on it.
A uniform officer just won’t have the
time and possibly the expertise either to deal with it.
Don’t let them fob you off that it’s “ a civil matter “ as it’s not, it’s theft / fraud, especially all the withdrawals made after your Aunts death - how could she give permission for those withdrawals ???
efcforever
Player Valuation: £10m
I have used nytol myself and yes they do make you feel very groggy the next day. They certainly aren't an ideal solution but I find they can correct your sleep pattern if needed.
