Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[efcforever]

Hi guys

Having some big problems with my little sister at the moment. She is 30 years old and has suffered with depression for a couple of years and has become dependent on alcohol.

There is no obvious explanation for her depression and she now becomes anxious when confronted with very simple day-to-day scenarios. She has tried counselling sessions and AA meetings and there has been periods of short term improvement but she keeps relapsing.

Her health has been effected. She has pain in her live and has numbness in her arms. She has 2 kids so is terrified of seeking medical help because of concern about losing the kids. We are trying to weigh up whether to intervene at this stage as she has had suicidal thoughts. Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated.

My dad suffered with alcohol addiction for many years. He's now been sober for almost 8 years. It was so difficult to deal with. Trouble was he refused to admit he had a problem. It took several days of binge drinking followed by a hospital admission to finally get him to face up to it.

In the end we had to take it in turns to watch him and control his alcohol in take. We were told it wouldn't be safe for him to just go cold turkey. He kicked it in the end but the key was he accepted he had a problem.

 

[fnarrr]

Hi. I'm an addict.

I thought I would share my experience in case it helps anyone else out there.

I see my addiction as a bubble. It's a place I go to escape my problems. It's a nice, comfortable place to be and while I am there I can happily ignore stress and negative emotions. And I am very grateful to my bubble. Without it, I would not have been able to face the sense of isolation and abandonment I experienced as a teenager and young adult. I simply wouldn't be alive today.

But going to the bubble became compulsive behaviour that I could not stop no matter how hard I tried. Everytime I emerged from my bubble, I found my problems were not only still there, but they had become worse as a direct result of my 'acting out'. The effort required to plan my acting out and the web of lies I had to maintain to enable my secret life exhausted me. My friends and family became my adversaries to my behaviour. I felt enormous guilt about my acting out. The sense of isolation that had driven me into the arms of addiction snowballed. I was trapped in a cycle of addiction. Eventually my life became wholly unmanageable. I was broken and finally I admitted I needed help, because I couldn't escape the bubble by myself.

Whilst my addiction concentrated mostly in one form, it certainly attempted to manifest itself in other ways. The analogy I think of is a balloon. If you squeeze one side, then it expands elsewhere. Drink, drugs, sex, porn, gambling, over-eating, internet and work. Anything that would allow me to escape.

How did I overcome my addiction?

First I go to a Psychotherapist. He is great. He helps me to come to terms with myself. I feel at peace with myself and the events that have shaped my life. However whilst the therapist helps me to understand my addiction, that in itself is not enough to stop me acting out.

Second I attend a 12 step programme. Taking life one day at a time, working a daily routine and having a network of folks who have my same problem, are not judgemental and who understand addiction all helps to keep me 'sober'.

Third I have an understanding, loving family who I speak openly too. My whole family knows about my addiction and I don't keep any secrets from them. They are no longer my adversaries.

And lastly I practice mindfulness. Meditation helps a lot with this. Being aware of your state of mind and having the ability to control it is essential to recovering from addiction.


The result is that I feel connected and I feel lighter because I have nothing to hide. I have broken the cycle of isolation that feeds addiction and I feel confident about making the right choices.



Hope that helps.............

 

[EFCPaul]

Back at work today, not enjoying it one bit and there's a very eery vibe about the place after all that went by. Spent every minute since I got here thinking about home time, it's so grim.

I know staying at home would be worse though. Praying to God I am out of here imminently though.

 

[DixieDigne]

New to this forum.

Very refreshing to see something like this on here. Suffered from anxiety/depression since i was about 16 (25 now). The past few years i made real strides in recovery and keeping my mental health in as much of a stable state as possible. The past few months have been horrendous however! My mrs is currently 6 months pregnant, i work monday-friday 9-5 normal job. I play for a football team on a saturday afternoon so my life is busy and hectic. On top of trying to stay social and do exercise myself i feel as if everything has now suddenly got to much. The dark thoughts that go through my mind i haven't had for atleast 5 years. I actually sat at work this morning and cried. In all honesty i've resisted talking to anyone but my partner about it, she wants me to go see the GP however i think if i have to do that im almost admitting im back to my old ways. I'm trying to suck it up and get on with it all but very hard at the moment.

 

[hallamblue]

New to this forum.

Very refreshing to see something like this on here. Suffered from anxiety/depression since i was about 16 (25 now). The past few years i made real strides in recovery and keeping my mental health in as much of a stable state as possible. The past few months have been horrendous however! My mrs is currently 6 months pregnant, i work monday-friday 9-5 normal job. I play for a football team on a saturday afternoon so my life is busy and hectic. On top of trying to stay social and do exercise myself i feel as if everything has now suddenly got to much. The dark thoughts that go through my mind i haven't had for atleast 5 years. I actually sat at work this morning and cried. In all honesty i've resisted talking to anyone but my partner about it, she wants me to go see the GP however i think if i have to do that im almost admitting im back to my old ways. I'm trying to suck it up and get on with it all but very hard at the moment.

There's no shame in admitting you're struggling mate. Go and see your GP, it will be a big weight off you. I got to a pretty low ebb, and my wife pretty much said she was leaving me unless I went to the doctor. I cried in front of the GP, which really surprised me. Nobody at work had a clue, and they still don't. Having a baby, or expecting one, can put a lot of pressure on you, but you need to be kind to yourself. You've been doing really well, and now you've hit a bit of a bump in the road and you need some help, there's no shame in that. Go and see your GP and explain things, and then see what happens from there. Best of luck, and keep posting in here, there are some good people on this site.

 

[Tipp blue]

New to this forum.

Very refreshing to see something like this on here. Suffered from anxiety/depression since i was about 16 (25 now). The past few years i made real strides in recovery and keeping my mental health in as much of a stable state as possible. The past few months have been horrendous however! My mrs is currently 6 months pregnant, i work monday-friday 9-5 normal job. I play for a football team on a saturday afternoon so my life is busy and hectic. On top of trying to stay social and do exercise myself i feel as if everything has now suddenly got to much. The dark thoughts that go through my mind i haven't had for atleast 5 years. I actually sat at work this morning and cried. In all honesty i've resisted talking to anyone but my partner about it, she wants me to go see the GP however i think if i have to do that im almost admitting im back to my old ways. I'm trying to suck it up and get on with it all but very hard at the moment.

If how you are feeling is how you used to feel years ago then you are "back to your old ways" and admitting this and getting to your gp is the start of getting over it again, and the sooner you get help the quicker you'll sort it out. is this your first child?

 

[DixieDigne]

If how you are feeling is how you used to feel years ago then you are "back to your old ways" and admitting this and getting to your gp is the start of getting over it again, and the sooner you get help the quicker you'll sort it out. is this your first child?

I know there's an issue again however it's stubborness on my part in actually admitting to myself it's true. I will go see the GP I now know it's best. It is my first child yeah

 

[COYBL25]

I know there's an issue again however it's stubborness on my part in actually admitting to myself it's true. I will go see the GP I now know it's best. It is my first child yeah

Don`t beat yourself up mate, as the good thing is that you`ve recognised that you`re slipping again and it`s only natural to go into denial.

There`s nothing to be ashamed of, as your ill, same as any other illness.

Think of the massive positive - if you go and see your GP now and get help, you`ll be should be back to normal when the baby comes and you`ll be ready for everything that comes with a new born

 

[DixieDigne]

Don`t beat yourself up mate, as the good thing is that you`ve recognised that you`re slipping again and it`s only natural to go into denial.

There`s nothing to be ashamed of, as your ill, same as any other illness.

Think of the massive positive - if you go and see your GP now and get help, you`ll be should be back to normal when the baby comes and you`ll be ready for everything that comes with a new born

Thanks for advice. Much appreciated

 

[COYBL25]

Thanks for advice. Much appreciated

If things are ever getting on top of you mate, there’s always someone on here who’ll help x

 

[Tipp blue]

I know there's an issue again however it's stubborness on my part in actually admitting to myself it's true. I will go see the GP I now know it's best. It is my first child yeah

First child, that's great, I have 2 boys ones 3 years and the other nearly 5 months, your life is about to change for the better, when we were expecting our first I got some advice from an older retired man that I know he told me "to play with the child and spend as much time with them as you possibly can and don't be like me and regret not playing and spending more time with them because you'll never get that time back" advice from him that I've stuck to and it is very difficult when you're tired after a days work but so worth it.

 

[Billy Dean]

Hi guys

Having some big problems with my little sister at the moment. She is 30 years old and has suffered with depression for a couple of years and has become dependent on alcohol.

There is no obvious explanation for her depression and she now becomes anxious when confronted with very simple day-to-day scenarios. She has tried counselling sessions and AA meetings and there has been periods of short term improvement but she keeps relapsing.

Her health has been effected. She has pain in her live and has numbness in her arms. She has 2 kids so is terrified of seeking medical help because of concern about losing the kids. We are trying to weigh up whether to intervene at this stage as she has had suicidal thoughts. Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated.

Is she getting to AA meetings regularly? I know a few people who have been involved with it and have heard lots of people's stories. A lot of people who have been a lot of years sober just started by going to the meetings even though they hadn't stopped drinking. Just getting their butts on a seat there and trying to listen to what people were saying. Eventually after a while they heard something that chimed with them and the penny dropped and they got sober. For some people it took a few weeks, for some a few years, but they kept at it. As said above alcohol is a depressant. Also, I've heard addicts talk about needing to drink/use/gamble or whatever because they felt they couldn't deal with every day life.

Back at work today, not enjoying it one bit and there's a very eery vibe about the place after all that went by. Spent every minute since I got here thinking about home time, it's so grim.

I know staying at home would be worse though. Praying to God I am out of here imminently though.

All the best mate. I've had plenty of unpleasant situations at work myself the last year or so and it's really hard to deal with.

 

[AmericasToffee]

I know there's an issue again however it's stubborness on my part in actually admitting to myself it's true. I will go see the GP I now know it's best. It is my first child yeah

An issue doesn't mean there was weakness on your part. Hope you feel well soon

 

[jonnyboy316]

Is she getting to AA meetings regularly? I know a few people who have been involved with it and have heard lots of people's stories. A lot of people who have been a lot of years sober just started by going to the meetings even though they hadn't stopped drinking. Just getting their butts on a seat there and trying to listen to what people were saying. Eventually after a while they heard something that chimed with them and the penny dropped and they got sober. For some people it took a few weeks, for some a few years, but they kept at it. As said above alcohol is a depressant. Also, I've heard addicts talk about needing to drink/use/gamble or whatever because they felt they couldn't deal with every day life.


All the best mate. I've had plenty of unpleasant situations at work myself the last year or so and it's really hard to deal with.

She has been going for a few months. My Dad drives her and waits in the Car so we know she is attending. She has said the sessions do help but sadly she keeps lapsing. We are trying to get her to call us when she is struggling but what is generally happening is we will get the call for help after she has been drinking. Very frustrating and sad. It feels like we are at a cross roads where we are going to have to take drastic action to save her life even if it means it causes issues with the children

 

[Billy Dean]

She has been going for a few months. My Dad drives her and waits in the Car so we know she is attending. She has said the sessions do help but sadly she keeps lapsing. We are trying to get her to call us when she is struggling but what is generally happening is we will get the call for help after she has been drinking. Very frustrating and sad. It feels like we are at a cross roads where we are going to have to take drastic action to save her life even if it means it causes issues with the children

Has she got a sponsor?