He performs the worst miracles ever!
Moyes outside the pearly gates:
St Peter: “David, we note you did excellent work saving Everton from relegation and building a solid side. Some water to wine moments on the transfer market, indeed!”
Moyes: “Good wan, big man. Good wan!”
St Peter: “We are also pleased you delivered vegetables to old people in your spare time.”
Moyes: “Aye, good that boss!”
St Peter: “However we feel you may need several millennia of punishment for abusing your God-given powers to keep West Ham up. Not only is it a dreadful club with a horrible fan base, but it was owned by swindling, cheating, filthy pornographers....”