'Breaking News that nobody is interested in' ...

[GlosBlue]

....fella with a big round face and a Dutch accent just knocked and asked if I wanted to buy Niasse.

I don't think he was stollen, but Everton were definitely robbed!

 

[larbert toffee]

I don't think he was stollen, but Everton were definitely robbed!

I don't think he was Stollen either.

 

[GlosBlue]

View attachment 32638

I don't think he was Stollen either.

It was a continuation of the previous jokes but thanks for making sure I was aware of how to spell stolen.

 

[Goat]

Meanwhile, in Russia.

 

[Eggs]

...today is 'Fizz Friday'. Apparently it's the day when most alcohol is sold in UK supermarkets. Fizzy wine sales increase 5 fold with Proseco being the biggest buyer. Proseco, how times change.

 

[Ashtonian]

Just been stopped for shoplifting haha

I hadn't stole anything like and I could read the situation quite well as the old shop assistant made a beeline for the security guard so dragged it out with them.

 

[larbert toffee]

Just been stopped for shoplifting haha

I hadn't stole anything like and I could read the situation quite well as the old shop assistant made a beeline for the security guard so dragged it out with them.

Ash , not only should they make a film of your life they should also sign up Michael Crawford or Jim Carrey to play the lead

 

[COYBL25]

Just been stopped for shoplifting haha

I hadn't stole anything like and I could read the situation quite well as the old shop assistant made a beeline for the security guard so dragged it out with them.

What did they think you'd stolen Ash, it wasnt a bus pass was it, as you have got previous for this type of thing ?

 

[larbert toffee]

What did they think you'd stolen Ash, it wasnt a bus pass was it, as you have got previous for this type of thing ?

He was arrested for affray (Bentos)

 

[kev]

Just been stopped for shoplifting haha

I hadn't stole anything like and I could read the situation quite well as the old shop assistant made a beeline for the security guard so dragged it out with them.

Very good of the shop assistant and the security guard to help you drag it out.
Must have been heavy whatever you robbed. What was it ?

 

[larbert toffee]

Very good of the shop assistant and the security guard to help you drag it out.
Must have been heavy whatever you robbed. What was it ?

A sackful of tinned pies, a tin opener, plasters,bandages and a sewing kit.

 

[COYBL25]

Just been stopped for shoplifting haha

I hadn't stole anything like and I could read the situation quite well as the old shop assistant made a beeline for the security guard so dragged it out with them.

You mention the " old " shop assistant too Ash. So you're deliberately targeting vulnerable members of society whilst on your one man crime wave. Shame on you.

 

[Ashtonian]

What did they think you'd stolen Ash, it wasnt a bus pass was it, as you have got previous for this type of thing ?

You mention the " old " shop assistant too Ash. So you're deliberately targeting vulnerable members of society whilst on your one man crime wave. Shame on you.

The short of it was bought reeces pieces for the other half, scanned through as 10p instead of a quid, asked til girl if I could go and get more at that price, compared stock to the one I had, left and all woman saw was me putting it in the bag haha

 

[COYBL25]

The short of it was bought reeces pieces for the other half, scanned through as 10p instead of a quid, asked til girl if I could go and get more at that price, compared stock to the one I had, left and all woman saw was me putting it in the bag haha

What are " Reece's Pieces ", where you in Ann Summers ?

 

[kev]

The short of it was bought reeces pieces for the other half, scanned through as 10p instead of a quid, asked til girl if I could go and get more at that price, compared stock to the one I had, left and all woman saw was me putting it in the bag haha

Nice one. Just stick to that story mate. They can't prove nuthin'