He'll be a glory hunting day tripper from the leafy Merseyside suburb of Devon, he'll be an avid collector of badges and he'll wear all 3000 of them at any one time, he'll also be ginger with freckles, vastly overweight with a subtle whiff of stale urine mixed with body odour.He'll still wear his XXXL 'Crown Paints' sponsored away shirt on a daily basis whilst begging his alcoholic and toothless father if he'll take him to see 'his' team one day especially if he promises to save up his paper round wages.He'll take great pride in his LFC lampshade that lights up his box room only to reveal the brown skidmarks on the sheets of his single bunk bed.
To summarise, he'll be a whopper of gigantic proportions, so spare a thought for the less fortunate amongst us, as life hasn't been fair to him.