Bedwetters Guide to Being An Evertonian During A Transfer Window

[Toffe3m4n]

I believe that rather than trying to ridicule every cautious, negative notion that other fans may have just because it differs from the opinion of the overly positive clique it would be much fairer to simply list the very small list of posters who actually do argue the majority of the above and do nothing but complain.

In all honesty, you've gotten that backwards.

 

[SerenityNigh]

You're not allowed to call them bed wetters mate as they get upset and complain to the mods.

I suggest we use 'mattress moisturisers' in future until that one becomes too upsetting and we think of another one.

But how do you separate the transfer onanists?

 

[chippy1722]

I believe that rather than trying to ridicule every cautious, negative notion that other fans may have just because it differs from the opinion of the overly positive clique it would be much fairer to simply list the very small list of posters who actually do argue the majority of the above and do nothing but complain.

There's not much normal football conversation to be found between the constantly negative drivel of a small few posters and the over the top portrayal of almost any contrary opinion as 'bedwetting' of which this OP is an example.


Fencesitters for life!

You'll find bedwetter tends to be a response for people who cannot debate and put forward or accept reasonable opinions. It's a forum but only for certain opinions.

 

[banno]

You'll find bedwetter tends to be a response to people who cannot debate and put forward or accept reasonable opinions. It's a forum but only for certain opinions.

Fixed

 

[chicoazul]

Scenario 1:
Everton sign a player for a fee over £10m
Response:
Complain that the player is over-priced and that Everton have been taken for a ride. Ask what the chuff Steve Walsh is employed for. Isn't he suppose to be finding us cheap gems?

Scenario 2:
Everton sign a player for a fee of under £10m
Response:
Complain that the player is not of the required quality to take Everton to the next level. Point out that Bournemouth have spend £20m on Nathan Ake. Shouldn't we be outspending them?

Scenario 3:
Everton's net spend is negative (the club have recouped more money from selling players than they have spent on new players)
Response:
Complain that "nothing has changed". Question Farhad Moshiri and state unequivocally that Bill Kenwright is still in charge of the club and that it's still "sell to buy".

Scenario 4:
Everton's net spend is positive (the club have spent more money on players than it has recouped from selling them)
Response:
(1) complain that the club has overspent on players who are not worth it.
(2) complain that the club has been taken for a ride and sold players for less than their value (even if they have been sold for world record fees).
(3) Failing (1) or (2), complain that the net spend still isn't high enough to close the gap to the top 4.

Scenario 5:
Everton complete several transfer deals quickly, allowing the manager to bed players in with a full pre-season.
Response:
Complain that, had we waited a bit longer, we might have signed the players for a cheaper price closer to the deadline. Also suggest that the players' willingness to join Everton so quickly is evidence that they are not of the required level to take the club forward.

Scenario 6:
Everton take their time in the transfer market, leaving several deals to drag on into August, whilst haggling over fees.
Response:
Complain that the club is a farce, that players should have been brought in in June so that they could bed in with a full pre-season.

Scenario 7:
Everton actually do a really good bit of business and sign a player for a reasonable fee who will definitely improve the team.
Response:
Accept nothing. Question whatever you can. Their fitness record. The standard of the team/league they came from. The colour of their hair. The fact that signing them means that one of the young lads won't get a go. The fact that you don't think much of their WAG. Do not, under any circumstances, give off any positive vibe. If all else fails, state clearly that the player is using us as a stepping stone and lament that they will leave next summer, probably for a knockdown fee. If necessary, plant the idea that a terrible release fee clause has been inserted into their contract.

Beautifully done.

Have you all read it? Look in the mirror you geordiekopite flids.

 

[chicoazul]

I believe that rather than trying to ridicule every cautious, negative notion that other fans may have just because it differs from the opinion of the overly positive clique it would be much fairer to simply list the very small list of posters who actually do argue the majority of the above and do nothing but complain.

There's not much normal football conversation to be found between the constantly negative drivel of a small few posters and the over the top portrayal of almost any contrary opinion as 'bedwetting' of which this OP is an example.


Fencesitters for life!

I concur strongly with the gentlemen of listing these said posters. Please proceed.

 

[RalphDring]

Brilliant!, can't fault any of the logic, Everton fans, a great bunch of lads!.

 

[Thomasc]

Beautifully done.

Have you all read it? Look in the mirror you geordiekopite flids.

lol

 

[jaycee]

All as bad as each other,FIFA experts,financial gurus,criers,happy clappers,it like a cross between soccer am and a geordie/rs love in

 

[Thomasc]

Scenario 7:
Everton actually do a really good bit of business and sign a player for a reasonable fee who will definitely improve the team.
Response:
Accept nothing. Question whatever you can. Their fitness record. The standard of the team/league they came from. The colour of their hair. The fact that signing them means that one of the young lads won't get a go. The fact that you don't think much of their WAG. Do not, under any circumstances, give off any positive vibe. If all else fails, state clearly that the player is using us as a stepping stone and lament that they will leave next summer, probably for a knockdown fee. If necessary, plant the idea that a terrible release fee clause has been inserted into their contract.

Scenario 7 made me chuckle.

You forgot the NEW gem from our resident angst brigade - step forward Mr Bedwetter, who is now apparently concerned about "Sell on fees"

 

[chicoazul]

Please tag in any Pampers posse to this thread when you see them in other threads.

Once in here we can help them address their issues and heal.

 

[bicycleheader]

@d4kyxx

To get the ball rolling

 

[chicoazul]

@d4kyxx

To get the ball rolling

Dee-four how do you answer to these charges?

 

[Toffe3m4n]

Dee-four how do you answer to these charges?

You'll have to excuse him lar, I hear he's struggling to remove his head from the oven.

 

[bicycleheader]

You'll have to excuse him lar, I hear he's struggling to remove his head from the oven.

The oven must be up his own arse where his head resides permanently