Cena
Player Valuation: £70m
“Limpar’s still running, feeds it towards Horne, Stuart’s available wide, should be played back, Stuart’s cross...AND AMOKACHI HEADS EVERTON INTO THE NINETEEN NINETY FIVE FA CUP FINAL...The substitute’s only been on about 10 minutes, it’s Everton 3 Spurs 1”
All week you’ve been thinking about it haven’t you? The ways in which we are going to beat Arsenal. You’ve been in work and in the few instances when the office floozy, the condescending boss or the fat fella with three kids haven’t been disturbing your working week, you’ve imagined Everton beating Arsenal at the Emirates and setting up a Wembley return.
Was it Lukaku slotting a last minute tap in or Barkley rattling a 30 yard screamer? Either way, it’s the quarter final of the FA Cup and there isn’t a blue worth his/her salt that hasn’t been wishing this week away. It’s a season defining game in many respects and our last chance of silverware for this season. Avoid defeat and we can dream about ending what would be a 19 year trophy drought.
Gonna be difficult though eh lads? The Arse, The Gunners, The ‘Gooners’ otherwise known as the ‘sort of tolerable’ club in North London. I honestly can’t remember the last time we beat these. Was in Johnson in the sleet at Goodison? Either way, we haven’t done these in a while. Records are there to be broken I suppose. I should at this point add my voice to the many, at their disgraceful ticket allocation awarded for the away end. Bellends you Arsenal / Islington / Bradley Walsh / Ray Parlour / Lethal Bizzle / The lad who was in Fever Pitch and Piers ‘Fat Head’ Morgan. If we get a replay, I hope we give you 50 tickets, you get served extra warm Chang and you have the worst view in the Lower Bullens. I’ll leave it there, everything that needs to be said about that issue, has already been commented on.
They are going through their usual last third of the season collapse. The Tuesday after us they go to Munich to try and salvage their Champions League dream. The rest of March for them consists of Tottenham, Chelsea, Swansea and Man City in their chase for Premier League glory. With that set of fixtures coming up, there is room for them to take their eye of the ball, so to speak. The FA Cup, will be third on their list of priorities and you would of thought that this will hopefully play into our hands.
Will they play a weakened side? Our former Spanish lovely, Arteta, may well be called up against his former club, but other than that it is hard to say. One player that won’t feature this weekend is probably the most overrated, soulless, nothing behind the eyes, crown prince of Islington, Jack Wilshere. The little Scrappy-Doo, faux hardman (the same hardman who cried at Kevin Mirallas’ water bottle) was put out of action by the Kopite tattoo victim Agger Do Do Do during the Internationals this week. I don’t know whether it is a good thing or not he is out, they are clearly a better side without him, but seeing his tears on National television was certainly worth it. Nice one Daniel.
‘Top Gooser of 2014’ Olivier Giroud will be a threat if he starts. He is devilishly good looking, it’s no wonder he got his end away with that tart. In front of goal though he has the ability to hurt us. They of course have a wealth of talent with the likes of Oxlade-Chamberlain, Mezut Ozil, Cazorla and Podolski. They are in the title race for a good reason but are they that wonderful that they are strong favourites to beat us?
Onto to the Mighty Blues. West Ham was a relief wasn’t it? We needed those points. Wouldn’t quite describe us as ‘Magical Everton’ but we still looked the better side. When a goal looked like it would never ever come ever again, in came Big Rom. He needed that too. He will come back into the starting XI looking to rattle the Arse’s defence. Baines looked back to his best and he has got anytime scorer written all over him.
I’m not sure I can predict who starts for us though. One refreshing thing about Martinez is other sides as well as us fans can’t predict the XI which will play; unlike previously when we ‘went with what we had’. Barkley has looked a little bit off recently, but do you know something lids, I’ve got a feeling about him for this game.
The way Adrian Heath scored against Southampton in 84’, at Highbury ironically. The way, in 66’, when Mike Trebilcock came from no-where to score two in the final. In 95’, Daniel Amokachi went into Everton folklore with two semi-final goals against Spurs. There always seems to be a moment, perhaps unexpected or maybe where a player lights up and it leads to something special. It could be Barkley’s moment this. The Wavertree-Wonder has been too quiet for too long and it’s about time he scored for us again.
It’s looking ever increasingly likely that Jags will miss this. Big blow? Yes. Worried? Nah lad. Stone Cold John Stones is up for the task. That lad makes Baresi look Sunday League at times. The way he dealt with Andy Carroll and the way he has been at the heart of defence when deployed there, he just looks flawless. Don’t be fazed if he starts because he certainly won’t be. Dizzy, Coleman and Baines make up the rest of the backline.
The Keeper is an interesting one. Cup Keeper Robles or The American Dream, Tim Howard? We’ve of course played Robles in every round so far, but do you drop your number one choice for a game like this? Gareth Barry will continue to have a fantastic jawline and spectacular hair in midfield alongside James McCarthy who will be running along Formby beach to warm up for Saturday’s game. He’d batter Mo Farah in the 10k that lad.
So there it is. Potentially 90 minutes away from Wembley here lads. 90mins away from minibuses/coaches/cars down the M6 with Everton flags. Be confident, be up for it and be ready to have a good Saturday night because we can do this. With a little bit of luck too, you can tell yer Ma to get that champagne on ice.
Up the Toffees.
All week you’ve been thinking about it haven’t you? The ways in which we are going to beat Arsenal. You’ve been in work and in the few instances when the office floozy, the condescending boss or the fat fella with three kids haven’t been disturbing your working week, you’ve imagined Everton beating Arsenal at the Emirates and setting up a Wembley return.
Was it Lukaku slotting a last minute tap in or Barkley rattling a 30 yard screamer? Either way, it’s the quarter final of the FA Cup and there isn’t a blue worth his/her salt that hasn’t been wishing this week away. It’s a season defining game in many respects and our last chance of silverware for this season. Avoid defeat and we can dream about ending what would be a 19 year trophy drought.
Gonna be difficult though eh lads? The Arse, The Gunners, The ‘Gooners’ otherwise known as the ‘sort of tolerable’ club in North London. I honestly can’t remember the last time we beat these. Was in Johnson in the sleet at Goodison? Either way, we haven’t done these in a while. Records are there to be broken I suppose. I should at this point add my voice to the many, at their disgraceful ticket allocation awarded for the away end. Bellends you Arsenal / Islington / Bradley Walsh / Ray Parlour / Lethal Bizzle / The lad who was in Fever Pitch and Piers ‘Fat Head’ Morgan. If we get a replay, I hope we give you 50 tickets, you get served extra warm Chang and you have the worst view in the Lower Bullens. I’ll leave it there, everything that needs to be said about that issue, has already been commented on.
They are going through their usual last third of the season collapse. The Tuesday after us they go to Munich to try and salvage their Champions League dream. The rest of March for them consists of Tottenham, Chelsea, Swansea and Man City in their chase for Premier League glory. With that set of fixtures coming up, there is room for them to take their eye of the ball, so to speak. The FA Cup, will be third on their list of priorities and you would of thought that this will hopefully play into our hands.
Will they play a weakened side? Our former Spanish lovely, Arteta, may well be called up against his former club, but other than that it is hard to say. One player that won’t feature this weekend is probably the most overrated, soulless, nothing behind the eyes, crown prince of Islington, Jack Wilshere. The little Scrappy-Doo, faux hardman (the same hardman who cried at Kevin Mirallas’ water bottle) was put out of action by the Kopite tattoo victim Agger Do Do Do during the Internationals this week. I don’t know whether it is a good thing or not he is out, they are clearly a better side without him, but seeing his tears on National television was certainly worth it. Nice one Daniel.
‘Top Gooser of 2014’ Olivier Giroud will be a threat if he starts. He is devilishly good looking, it’s no wonder he got his end away with that tart. In front of goal though he has the ability to hurt us. They of course have a wealth of talent with the likes of Oxlade-Chamberlain, Mezut Ozil, Cazorla and Podolski. They are in the title race for a good reason but are they that wonderful that they are strong favourites to beat us?
Onto to the Mighty Blues. West Ham was a relief wasn’t it? We needed those points. Wouldn’t quite describe us as ‘Magical Everton’ but we still looked the better side. When a goal looked like it would never ever come ever again, in came Big Rom. He needed that too. He will come back into the starting XI looking to rattle the Arse’s defence. Baines looked back to his best and he has got anytime scorer written all over him.
I’m not sure I can predict who starts for us though. One refreshing thing about Martinez is other sides as well as us fans can’t predict the XI which will play; unlike previously when we ‘went with what we had’. Barkley has looked a little bit off recently, but do you know something lids, I’ve got a feeling about him for this game.
The way Adrian Heath scored against Southampton in 84’, at Highbury ironically. The way, in 66’, when Mike Trebilcock came from no-where to score two in the final. In 95’, Daniel Amokachi went into Everton folklore with two semi-final goals against Spurs. There always seems to be a moment, perhaps unexpected or maybe where a player lights up and it leads to something special. It could be Barkley’s moment this. The Wavertree-Wonder has been too quiet for too long and it’s about time he scored for us again.
It’s looking ever increasingly likely that Jags will miss this. Big blow? Yes. Worried? Nah lad. Stone Cold John Stones is up for the task. That lad makes Baresi look Sunday League at times. The way he dealt with Andy Carroll and the way he has been at the heart of defence when deployed there, he just looks flawless. Don’t be fazed if he starts because he certainly won’t be. Dizzy, Coleman and Baines make up the rest of the backline.
The Keeper is an interesting one. Cup Keeper Robles or The American Dream, Tim Howard? We’ve of course played Robles in every round so far, but do you drop your number one choice for a game like this? Gareth Barry will continue to have a fantastic jawline and spectacular hair in midfield alongside James McCarthy who will be running along Formby beach to warm up for Saturday’s game. He’d batter Mo Farah in the 10k that lad.
So there it is. Potentially 90 minutes away from Wembley here lads. 90mins away from minibuses/coaches/cars down the M6 with Everton flags. Be confident, be up for it and be ready to have a good Saturday night because we can do this. With a little bit of luck too, you can tell yer Ma to get that champagne on ice.
Up the Toffees.
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