Alan Whittle
Player Valuation: £60m
For those Blues making the trip to Fortress Selhurst on Saturday I offer the following in the spirit of football fellowship.
Who are deese again?
Crystal Palace FC. Not to be confused with Buckingham Palace or Caesar's Palace. An original club were formed some time in the 1860's from workers at the site of the original Crystal Palace, the wonder of the modern age at the 1851 Great Exhibition in Hyde Park. They were moderately successful and reached an FA Cup semi final in 1872. They fell out with the FA over the use of their ground for FA Cup finals and eventually folded, to be reformed by the current club in 1905.
Oh! dat lot that plays in Red and Blue.
That's it. Red and Blue. Formerly Claret and Sky Blue, and before that Black and White mainly, for a bit, but before that Claret and Sky Blue.
The Eagles though yeah?
Oh yes. The Eagles......and before that The Glaziers.
At Selhurst Park still?
Yes, still here. Likely to stay that way as well to the relief of the majority of Palace fans. Away fans are housed in the Arthur Waite Stand, names after the former Chairman who oversaw the rise from the old Division 4 in 1961to the old Division1 in 1969. An Evertonian I met once nicknamed it the Terry Waite Stand as he found conditions similar to those experienced as a captive of Palestinian terrorists held in an underground concrete bunker without human comforts. To be fair it's had a lick of paint since then. Formerly housed in the section adjacent to the more boisterous Palace fans you will now find yourselves adjacent to the family stand so please mind your language in front of young Tarquin and Jocasta.
Miles from anywhere though ain't it?
A survey carried out in 2012 found that the three most popular conspiracy theories in the world concerned the moon landings, Kennedy's assassination and the proximity of Selhurst Park in relation to public transport. There are three British Rail stations within a short walk of the ground. Between them and the ground are a number of watering holes which will welcome away fans;
..at bloody last lid, something useful
Wetherspoons opposite Thornton Heath station, Wetherspoons in South Norwood High Street and The Victory Club (£1 guest membership) just up from Norwood Junction station on the way to the ground.
Aside from the White Horse in Selhurst Road and The Clifton in Holmesdale Road, if you're not wearing colours and shouting like Bobby Grant straightening out their Damon then you'll be welcome almost anywhere.
You sure about the trains like?
According to network rail there are maintenance works between London Bridge and Norwood Junction so it's worth checking to see if it's a bus transfer or if it is ok from Victoria.
I hope the above is of some use. Everton, I'm pleased to say, are held in pretty high esteem as a football club of great tradition and decent fans. You will, of course, here the "Sign on Sign on" song at least once but take comfort that it will have been started by a spotty 14 year old who knows no better and thinks he's being originally hilarious.
For myself, I hate these games. I will sit next to my Evertonian son as I have done every time we have met since about 1994. Even in the unlikely event of a win (or even a corner!) my pleasure will be diluted by the agonies that my lad will go through, and of course vice versa. I cannot get used to having two fixtures a year where I do not want the Blue boys to come out on top.
To those of you coming, have a great trip and a good day out. For the ninety minutes of football.....well......give us a break eh?
Who are deese again?
Crystal Palace FC. Not to be confused with Buckingham Palace or Caesar's Palace. An original club were formed some time in the 1860's from workers at the site of the original Crystal Palace, the wonder of the modern age at the 1851 Great Exhibition in Hyde Park. They were moderately successful and reached an FA Cup semi final in 1872. They fell out with the FA over the use of their ground for FA Cup finals and eventually folded, to be reformed by the current club in 1905.
Oh! dat lot that plays in Red and Blue.
That's it. Red and Blue. Formerly Claret and Sky Blue, and before that Black and White mainly, for a bit, but before that Claret and Sky Blue.
The Eagles though yeah?
Oh yes. The Eagles......and before that The Glaziers.
At Selhurst Park still?
Yes, still here. Likely to stay that way as well to the relief of the majority of Palace fans. Away fans are housed in the Arthur Waite Stand, names after the former Chairman who oversaw the rise from the old Division 4 in 1961to the old Division1 in 1969. An Evertonian I met once nicknamed it the Terry Waite Stand as he found conditions similar to those experienced as a captive of Palestinian terrorists held in an underground concrete bunker without human comforts. To be fair it's had a lick of paint since then. Formerly housed in the section adjacent to the more boisterous Palace fans you will now find yourselves adjacent to the family stand so please mind your language in front of young Tarquin and Jocasta.
Miles from anywhere though ain't it?
A survey carried out in 2012 found that the three most popular conspiracy theories in the world concerned the moon landings, Kennedy's assassination and the proximity of Selhurst Park in relation to public transport. There are three British Rail stations within a short walk of the ground. Between them and the ground are a number of watering holes which will welcome away fans;
..at bloody last lid, something useful
Wetherspoons opposite Thornton Heath station, Wetherspoons in South Norwood High Street and The Victory Club (£1 guest membership) just up from Norwood Junction station on the way to the ground.
Aside from the White Horse in Selhurst Road and The Clifton in Holmesdale Road, if you're not wearing colours and shouting like Bobby Grant straightening out their Damon then you'll be welcome almost anywhere.
You sure about the trains like?
According to network rail there are maintenance works between London Bridge and Norwood Junction so it's worth checking to see if it's a bus transfer or if it is ok from Victoria.
I hope the above is of some use. Everton, I'm pleased to say, are held in pretty high esteem as a football club of great tradition and decent fans. You will, of course, here the "Sign on Sign on" song at least once but take comfort that it will have been started by a spotty 14 year old who knows no better and thinks he's being originally hilarious.
For myself, I hate these games. I will sit next to my Evertonian son as I have done every time we have met since about 1994. Even in the unlikely event of a win (or even a corner!) my pleasure will be diluted by the agonies that my lad will go through, and of course vice versa. I cannot get used to having two fixtures a year where I do not want the Blue boys to come out on top.
To those of you coming, have a great trip and a good day out. For the ninety minutes of football.....well......give us a break eh?
