2023/24 Amadou Onana

[GoldenToffee]

Then dont sell. Its that simple.

Premier League:
Hi, is that Everton?

Everton:
Yes, Colin Chong speaking.

Premier League:
As you know you received two points deductions this season and have a further case pending. From what we can see you're very likely to receive a further points deduction if you don't balance the books by the end of June.

Everton:
Yes, we're working very hard on that.

Premier League:
What are your main assets at the moment?

Everton:
Well, we have Onana, Pickford and Branthwaite, basically. Nobody else is worth a carrot.

Premier League:
It looks like all of the top 7 sides won't be in the market for a goalkeeper, and you're set to lose a decent chunk of any sale for Onana. We'd suggest you sell Branthwaite.

Everton:
Yes, absolutely, we're actively trying to sell him for £120m pounds.

Premier League:
Hold on, the world record for a central defender is around £80m. You're seriously trying to tell us you're pricing him at 50% more than that?

Everton:
Yes, he's very good.

Premier League:
We'd suggest a more sensible approach if you want to comply with the financial rules.

*August arrives*

Everton:
So we had no takers at £120m but we'd did sell him for £55m.

Premier League:
We did try to warn you about pricing him out of the market. His sale will obviously not count for the previous financial year, and as you've just gone and bought Andre Ayew for £35m, you're almost certainly getting a further 6 point deduction this season.

Everton:
Oh shucks we thought it would all work out OK.

 

[Zatara]

Premier League:
Hi, is that Everton?

Everton:
Yes, Colin Chong speaking.

Premier League:
As you know you received two points deductions this season and have a further case pending. From what we can see you're very likely to receive a further points deduction if you don't balance the books by the end of June.

Everton:
Yes, we're working very hard on that.

Premier League:
What are your main assets at the moment?

Everton:
Well, we have Onana, Pickford and Branthwaite, basically. Nobody else is worth a carrot.

Premier League:
It looks like all of the top 7 sides won't be in the market for a goalkeeper, and you're set to lose a decent chunk of any sale for Onana. We'd suggest you sell Branthwaite.

Everton:
Yes, absolutely, we're actively trying to sell him for £120m pounds.

Premier League:
Hold on, the world record for a central defender is around £80m. You're seriously trying to tell us you're pricing him at 50% more than that?

Everton:
Yes, he's very good.

Premier League:
We'd suggest a more sensible approach if you want to comply with the financial rules.

*August arrives*

Everton:
So we had no takers at £120m but we'd did sell him for £55m.

Premier League:
We did try to warn you about pricing him out of the market. His sale will obviously not count for the previous financial year, and as you've just gone and bought Andre Ayew for £35m, you're almost certainly getting a further 6 point deduction this season.

Everton:
Oh shucks we thought it would all work out OK.

Amusing but theres one key factor youre omitting.

Forest purposely broke the rules and were rewarded compared with us who sold Richarlison early.

 

[Cameron Manning]

Then dont sell. Its that simple.

It’s a pity you were not buying him Zat you would pay £100M and we’d all be bleedin’ happy.
“Wow” I’ve even put your reply in for you!

 

[Zatara]

It’s a pity you were not buying him Zat you would pay £100M and we’d all be bleedin’ happy.
“Wow” I’ve even put your reply in for you!

Would you be happy with £100mil ?

Or would you prefer to watch him for us ?

 

[Goat]

Would you be happy with £100mil ?

Or would you prefer to watch him for us ?

I would pay 100m not to watch him half arse his way across a football pitch.

 

[Zatara]

I would pay 100m not to watch him half arse his way across a football pitch.

Theres a joke in there somewhere...

 

[Goat]

Theres a joke in there somewhere...

Yeah, his name is Onana.

As I've said, might grow into a good player under a decent manager in a good team.

But for us he is weapons grade rubbish and I can not wait till he's sold.

 

[Zatara]

Yeah, his name is Onana.

As I've said, might grow into a good player under a decent manager in a good team.

But for us he is weapons grade rubbish and I can not wait till he's sold.

"Grow into a good player"

Watch him for Belgium where they use him correctly and pass the ball.

 

[Goat]

"Grow into a good player"

Watch him for Belgium where they use him correctly and pass the ball.

He was sent off in his last game for Belgium, which was in October.

 

[Cameron Manning]

Would you be happy with £100mil ?

Or would you prefer to watch him for us ?

I’ll give you three guesses, no cancel that one guess should be plenty!

 

[Blueclouds]

Hope he not picked to start today.

 

[maccavennie]

Hope he not picked to start today.

He wasn't picked and he wasn't missed at all.

I hope that bloody hurt him and he's chomping at the bit in training to get back in the side.

Dyche actually called it right by dropping Garner and Onana. They both deserved it (many did tbf after Monday and have in spells this season) but it was a brave call to drop them both and worked.

 

[Mrbluenose]

Goes to the Euros. Whilst away gives an interview saying he wants out. Refuses to return to the club, assuming he's not sold by June 30th.

 

[knowing your history]

He wasn't picked and he wasn't missed at all.

I hope that bloody hurt him and he's chomping at the bit in training to get back in the side.

Dyche actually called it right by dropping Garner and Onana. They both deserved it (many did tbf after Monday and have in spells this season) but it was a brave call to drop them both and worked.

Was a risk but had my backing as both were very poor on Monday and constantly lost 50/50s which couldn't be afforded in this one.

I get the feeling Onana is mentally checking out now given he seemed to declare himself unfit for Burnley aswell.

A few good games for Belgium and he'll have enough interest so I really don't see him being here next season. Whether him alone leaving solves all of the FFP issues for 24/25 I don't know but of the two Branthwaite is far more critical to next season's survival, surely that's clear by now?

 

[SJB]

Sell the chump.