Search results for query: *

I reckon it was real jism too. Corrrr. ?

That's very arousing, especially to the arl fella sitting at the back with the cushion over his Chinos.

Twister was suggested in ours yesterday by my 93 year old Auntie Vera. We know from sitting opposite her that she doesn't wear any bloomers and her downstairs mouth isn't that attractive even after we've got through tons of ale. Her husband is just about still with us and the theory is he...

'Bash the bishop' - This originates from when the Bishop Of Cum Hardy was battered by a gaggle of altar boys after he was caught blimping up their cassocks when they were bending over to pick up hymn books that had been lashed on the floor. They duffed him up in the vestry and stuffed loads of...

What were you playing? Hide the Sausage?

Some think that plank Michael McIntyre is a comedy genius but the Marx Brothers, Laurel and Hardy and the Three Stooges (or Three Stoogies as some say ?) always brighten up my mood.

Regular comes into our local with his missus most weekends. He's s 80 odd, his missus is about 20 stone and the spit of Bella Emberg. Always leaves before 10 saying 'Off home now boys, might give this one a treat later but she'll have to fart to give me a clue where to stick it.' Raucous laugh...

A Yuletide Log originates from Celtic Brits adopting a tradition of burning a log to bring good luck. It now of course refers to the steaming two foot long turd your Uncle Wilf leaves in your downstairs bog after dining on your fine food and ale on Boxing Day. Merry Christmas :confused:

'The dog' s bollocks ' - A male dog licks it's own bollocks a lot because of the pleasure he derives from it, hence,' the dog's bollocks ' means something you think is just ace. Something your ma might have said about me when I porked her in the doorway at the side of the Odeon when your da...

From October to March mine is thimblecock ?

Off out for my Christmas bevvy with the old crew, suited up and ready to break some hearts. Not seen some of them for ten years or so. Watch out Tess Riley's, lock up your nans, the boys are back in town.

He also sang his hit "Sixty Eyes" to that monster from Venus in one episode. ?

No, deffo right mate. I know my music stuff. ?

How has this baldy, short arsed tit got a nice bird. I've got hair and most likely a bigger todger than him (not counting the Winter months admittedly). Yet if I was on the karaoke in Coopers serenading her with the Doctor Who classic "Oh I'm In Love With A Beaurrriful Woman And It's Hard", as...

`As happy as Larry` - this originated from Larry Grayson when he was sitting in his flat and felt a big draught on his neck causing him discomfort. He`d twisted his ankle the day before doing the Lambada with Pop It In Pete the postman so he couldn`t get out of his chair. Luckily enough his...

`The Third Degree` - When Prince Charles was asked by Andy at the 1975 Royal Variety Performance which one out of his favourite girl group gave him the best stonk on, he did indeed reply `the third one along` but the saying originated before that. The Freemasons had certain processes they had to...