Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

There’s no helping me. I’ve worked in a job where 600 people a week can easily judge me and they haven’t (or they have but only to praise) and now I’ve realised the praise will never be enough.

A lower salary job, less pressure is my route to freedom, it wouldn’t afford me the monies I’m currently squandering on things that will kill me and come with different pressures.

We bought our current house based on my salary and are due to remortgage soon, so will have to get that sorted first. There’s not much good about life.
Percy, if you remortgage with the same bank/building society it can be done with no credit checks or provision of bank statements. Obviously you need to be able to afford it but this might give you scope to move to a less pressured job.
 
Been in my job for 4 years. Received fantastic reviews. I said in my interview that no wasn’t interested in compliments, I was interested in criticism, that was how I thought I could get better.

4 years ago I used to run, I ran 5k daily in sub 23mins. Today I couldn’t run 5k in an hour, I smoke 20 a day and drink to the point of blackout 3 times a week.

The truest word I ever spoke was that I wasn’t interested in compliments, I can’t grasp them, I only find the negatives. I can barely get a word out of my daughter anymore and my son is too young to know any different.

On the positive side I work 6 days a week to try and make sure the family is secure. But ultimately my determination for perfection at my workplace is now costing me, and will definitely cost me long term, if not sooner.

I've been a bit worried I'd word this wrongly, so I hope it doesn't come across in a bad way

Are you using work to hide away/distract yourself from other troubles? It's just that you say working 6 days is a positive but from all you have said on this, it would feel an extra day is a negative
 
Been in my job for 4 years. Received fantastic reviews. I said in my interview that no wasn’t interested in compliments, I was interested in criticism, that was how I thought I could get better.

4 years ago I used to run, I ran 5k daily in sub 23mins. Today I couldn’t run 5k in an hour, I smoke 20 a day and drink to the point of blackout 3 times a week.

The truest word I ever spoke was that I wasn’t interested in compliments, I can’t grasp them, I only find the negatives. I can barely get a word out of my daughter anymore and my son is too young to know any different.

On the positive side I work 6 days a week to try and make sure the family is secure. But ultimately my determination for perfection at my workplace is now costing me, and will definitely cost me long term, if not sooner.

Working too much can be a coping mechanism. You may not feel in control anywhere except work.

You have a definite self worth issue, i struggle with the same thing. Compliments mean nothing because i'm convinced i'm an awful person, so it feels more familiar to be criticised. It aligns with how i feel and the "confirmation" from someone else re-enforced the low opinion i have of myself.

Regardless of the reasons why, Booze and smoking won't help because that same person who ran the 5k's is still inside you and that's the real you. You don't have to go and hit the 5k's again but try and be kinder to yourself, slow down on the booze and start to enjoy a walk every day.

You're worth a lot more than you probably feel.
 
Been in my job for 4 years. Received fantastic reviews. I said in my interview that no wasn’t interested in compliments, I was interested in criticism, that was how I thought I could get better.

4 years ago I used to run, I ran 5k daily in sub 23mins. Today I couldn’t run 5k in an hour, I smoke 20 a day and drink to the point of blackout 3 times a week.

The truest word I ever spoke was that I wasn’t interested in compliments, I can’t grasp them, I only find the negatives. I can barely get a word out of my daughter anymore and my son is too young to know any different.

On the positive side I work 6 days a week to try and make sure the family is secure. But ultimately my determination for perfection at my workplace is now costing me, and will definitely cost me long term, if not sooner.
Percy one thing I learnt from divorce was I should have put more effort into my marriage.

My ex wife is well paid teacher and I'm a truck driver so between us we earned good money. But ultimately she got bored because I was working long hours away from home every week.

To cut a long story short I lost everything and I ended up in huge debt as well.

I've also tried and tried with my 20 year old daughter to have a good relationship but I've realised no matter what I do she isn't interested so I've not fallen out with her but I've backed off to virtually no communication.

I'm not happy about the situation because I was very close to her but she chose her mum and grand parents over me and I recognised that chasing her was going to make me ill or kill me if I didn't stop. Sometimes you have to put yourself first.

There's lots of people on here who will chat to you and help. Messy Mascots is also good for a catch up as well.
 

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