wgtwiddle
Player Valuation: £750k
Short term, meh. Might be a bit bumpy. I say meh as it seems he's shown you little respect.
Long term, you'll have done what's right by you.
Just my take.
Last edited:
Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues
- Thread starter Groucho
- Start date
Short term, meh. Might be a bit bumpy. I say meh as it seems he's shown you little respect.
Long term, you'll have done what's right by you.
Just my take.
He just said I've really hurt him and for that he doesn't want me as best man now, and that I shouldn't bother coming. Well yes... that is exactly what I was getting at.
It's just nonsense how selfish and daft he has acted towards me the past 6 or so months. Selfish for trying to guilt me into endorsing and going along with this. If he wants to marry someone he barely knows then he can, but expecting me to stand in front of a room of people bless it? And wear a non-traditonal outfit (for her sake) as well?
No. That's not asking loyalty from a friend, that's asking them to indulge your delusions and embarrass themselves along with you. I'm not doing this.
Rita_Poon
Player Valuation: £100m
The decision is out in the open now, you've faced the worst of it. Try and relax, all the stress of the decision is done, hauling yourself over the coals is only prolonging the mither. Remember, because the decision has been so painful, there can never be an 'I told you so' (this aint an accusation, only a path to stay on the right side of approaching the problem in good faith). Maybe it works out, maybe it doesn't, you've been honest and can look yourself in the eye.
You can still dispute not knowing her much, incorporate her in your speech. Being given the role of best man suggests to me that it would render your point of view as worthy of listening to. What would happen hypothetically, if in a short period of time his marriage fails and you disclose you never thought it was a good idea. He might say "you could have pipped up" as my best man. Surely the way you say it would be impactful. A sort of "you know I think the world of you but I've got something on my mind I need to disclose". Your still being supportive, aren't you. ? Your not refusing A friend is someone you can be hones.
Tony Hibbert's Wife
Player Valuation: £500k
My mate topped himself on Friday. Known him since we were 11, best mates from about the age of 15 then we grew apart in our late 20s. We were pretty inseparable for much of the time until life got in the way. He moved to Canada and then we barely saw each other. Last time was about 8 years ago and it was like old times but then we didn't speak subsequently. Nothing wrong, we just had our own lives in different countries.
Got an urgent call from his brother yesterday saying my mate taken his own life on Friday. Left behind his wife and three kids (none of whom I've met). Apparently he'd been going through some pretty dark times. He'd always had a a dark side and had always been a heavy drinker that brought out a reckless side of him. That was true for both of us.
43 years old.
I don't know his life for the past few years and he's clearly been suffering so much he's taken the only option he saw, which is terrible. I don't know his family in Canada. Funeral is in Canada so I'll not be going as I'll not get the time off work.
Don't want to make his extremely sad death about me but, unlike when elderly family members have died, I'm really feeling it. Although I'm not sure how to feel. Could've done more to be there for him, support him maybe? Probably wouldn't have made a difference. Nobody in my life now knew him let alone knew 'us' as best mates. Nobody to share old stories with, talk about what a great bloke he was. Just platitudes. "I'm sorry". "That's awful". Yeh, it is awful, he was a prince and it's too [Poor language removed] soon.
Anyway. Just need to share for anyone suffering, reach out to your mates if you've got the strength. They're the ones who know you at your best and at your worst and are still there. No matter how long it's been your mates are always going to support you.
Chz.
Got an urgent call from his brother yesterday saying my mate taken his own life on Friday. Left behind his wife and three kids (none of whom I've met). Apparently he'd been going through some pretty dark times. He'd always had a a dark side and had always been a heavy drinker that brought out a reckless side of him. That was true for both of us.
43 years old.
I don't know his life for the past few years and he's clearly been suffering so much he's taken the only option he saw, which is terrible. I don't know his family in Canada. Funeral is in Canada so I'll not be going as I'll not get the time off work.
Don't want to make his extremely sad death about me but, unlike when elderly family members have died, I'm really feeling it. Although I'm not sure how to feel. Could've done more to be there for him, support him maybe? Probably wouldn't have made a difference. Nobody in my life now knew him let alone knew 'us' as best mates. Nobody to share old stories with, talk about what a great bloke he was. Just platitudes. "I'm sorry". "That's awful". Yeh, it is awful, he was a prince and it's too [Poor language removed] soon.
Anyway. Just need to share for anyone suffering, reach out to your mates if you've got the strength. They're the ones who know you at your best and at your worst and are still there. No matter how long it's been your mates are always going to support you.
Chz.
PKwalnuts
Player Valuation: £15m
Awful that and another example of how no one gets closure when that happens. Poor family left behind to pick up the pieces with no chance of ever making sense of it. Feel for you, hits home what you said, even sharing something on here is worthwhile and you will have your memories regardless. Take care of you
Managed to remove all ads from this thread except the one that sticks to the bottom of the screen on mobile for guests (struggling to remove that one). Replaced with a Samaritans ad.
Aww I'm very sorry to hear this mate. By the sounds of it there's nothing you could have done, clearly he was going through dark times but if he doesn't reach out, and you live so far apart that you don't physically see or hear about him, how were you at all to know? Please don't beat yourself up.
All I think you can realistically do is send a message to his grieving family in Canada, explaining who you are and how close two of you once were? Perhaps hearing about these old times will give comfort to his loved ones, especially the ones who probably don't know much about his life before his move? It may help you mentally too to share these nice memories. Just knowing you're someone they can reach out too if they'd like too I'm sure will mean a lot. When they're ready, learning more about that their dad, husband, friend, and how he had such a good pal back in England, no doubt be that would be a great comfort to them.
Please post again if you're own grief becomes too much.
Last edited:
Bryan+
Player Valuation: £35m
I’m away at the moment. One of the most beautiful places I’ve ever visited in my life - California and feel as low as I’ve felt in a while. Doing this stuff alone was supposed to be a distraction- but all it’s done has amplify my loss.
I don’t think I’ll ever, ever get over what’s happened and I just have to concentrate on getting through each day.
I don’t think I’ll ever, ever get over what’s happened and I just have to concentrate on getting through each day.
coollino
Player Valuation: £80m
You don't really have to 'get over' everything, maybe just try to get it at a more manageable place. May be less pressure that way too
Welcome
Join Grand Old Team to get involved in the Everton discussion. Signing up is quick, easy, and completely free.
Shop
