Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Spotty]

My dad has Alzheimer's disease and I'm really struggling with his psychosis lately. My mum was away last night on a trip with her sister, back this evening and he's been very restless and delusional, largely because of her abscence.
Constantly emptying out the wardrobes and drawers. I barely managed to stop him putting piles of clothes into the garden waste bin. Asking what time we need to leave (doesnt understand this is his home of 30 years), that "they" (nobody real) aren't communicating and the guys and girls in the office (psychotic delusions) need him to load the products (his clothes) into his car (he doesnt have one anymore).
I just can't get through to him. I've been reduced to practically begging him to stop even though I know it wont help, and he just looks at me like im silly and laughs it off.
Last night I was cooking his dinner and saw him go out into the pouring rain with another pile of clothes in his arm and approach a parked car (thinking it was where he was meant to load up the "products").

I don't know if I'm meant to play along with his delusions? Say something like "the order has been cancelled and we don't need to ship the products"? Doing that just feels like its feeding into it and would reinforce it and only make it worse?

I live with him and most days aren't great, but today and last night has been the worst. And I know it will only get worse as time goes on. Mentally, I am drained, and I feel trapped with a delusional, psychotic old man that wears the face of my father, but has none of his personality.
I'm on universal credit so can't afford a therapist or whatever, which I would like, so I guess writing it here and screaming into the digital void is the only other thing I can do.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sou...cQFnoECA8QAQ&usg=AOvVaw2f22fZhds6XxgYJ3r7kWW5

Ive highlighted a link (above) to the Alzheimer's Society which you probably have accessed zezti. On looking at it the drop downs lead to what looks like a number of extremely useful information. Please take a look if you having already. By taking care of dad bud you are performing an important role which the Statutory Services would have to provide if you were not there for dad. Please please reach out for support. You deserve support and honestly, a son under stress, anxious and mentally unwell will / is struggling to provide him with with the support your dad deserves. You can only do so much. You MUST tell people you need support. Your health and happiness really matters. Please reach out Zezti if you haven't already. Take care fella and God bless.

 

[shackattack]

My dad has Alzheimer's disease and I'm really struggling with his psychosis lately. My mum was away last night on a trip with her sister, back this evening and he's been very restless and delusional, largely because of her abscence.
Constantly emptying out the wardrobes and drawers. I barely managed to stop him putting piles of clothes into the garden waste bin. Asking what time we need to leave (doesnt understand this is his home of 30 years), that "they" (nobody real) aren't communicating and the guys and girls in the office (psychotic delusions) need him to load the products (his clothes) into his car (he doesnt have one anymore).
I just can't get through to him. I've been reduced to practically begging him to stop even though I know it wont help, and he just looks at me like im silly and laughs it off.
Last night I was cooking his dinner and saw him go out into the pouring rain with another pile of clothes in his arm and approach a parked car (thinking it was where he was meant to load up the "products").

I don't know if I'm meant to play along with his delusions? Say something like "the order has been cancelled and we don't need to ship the products"? Doing that just feels like its feeding into it and would reinforce it and only make it worse?

I live with him and most days aren't great, but today and last night has been the worst. And I know it will only get worse as time goes on. Mentally, I am drained, and I feel trapped with a delusional, psychotic old man that wears the face of my father, but has none of his personality.
I'm on universal credit so can't afford a therapist or whatever, which I would like, so I guess writing it here and screaming into the digital void is the only other thing I can do.

Am certainly no expert but I'd say for the best for both of you it may help to go along with whatever he wants really. To challenge or divert him may cause even more confusion and increase frustration for yourself. It's a hard task for people who do it professionally and the strain it can put on families is unfathomable. He's your dad and you want to do your best and it's a role that few of us could ever do. Have you looked on the Alzheimers Society Web page? They offer a free support line - don't do it alone as it will impact on both of you.

 

[Brett Angell Delight]

My dad has Alzheimer's disease and I'm really struggling with his psychosis lately. My mum was away last night on a trip with her sister, back this evening and he's been very restless and delusional, largely because of her abscence.
Constantly emptying out the wardrobes and drawers. I barely managed to stop him putting piles of clothes into the garden waste bin. Asking what time we need to leave (doesnt understand this is his home of 30 years), that "they" (nobody real) aren't communicating and the guys and girls in the office (psychotic delusions) need him to load the products (his clothes) into his car (he doesnt have one anymore).
I just can't get through to him. I've been reduced to practically begging him to stop even though I know it wont help, and he just looks at me like im silly and laughs it off.
Last night I was cooking his dinner and saw him go out into the pouring rain with another pile of clothes in his arm and approach a parked car (thinking it was where he was meant to load up the "products").

I don't know if I'm meant to play along with his delusions? Say something like "the order has been cancelled and we don't need to ship the products"? Doing that just feels like its feeding into it and would reinforce it and only make it worse?

I live with him and most days aren't great, but today and last night has been the worst. And I know it will only get worse as time goes on. Mentally, I am drained, and I feel trapped with a delusional, psychotic old man that wears the face of my father, but has none of his personality.
I'm on universal credit so can't afford a therapist or whatever, which I would like, so I guess writing it here and screaming into the digital void is the only other thing I can do.

I'm sorry mate, that's awful.

My wife's dad had it for the last few years of his life and the change was staggering to see.

I would say it is better to go along with his delusions as best as you're able to. I wouldn't be concerned about reinforcing it, etc, as it is unlikely to form as any sort of longer term memory anyway; all it serves to do is keep him relatively calm and happy in the moment.

All the best to you and your family.

 

[Gwladysover]

My dad has Alzheimer's disease and I'm really struggling with his psychosis lately. My mum was away last night on a trip with her sister, back this evening and he's been very restless and delusional, largely because of her abscence.
Constantly emptying out the wardrobes and drawers. I barely managed to stop him putting piles of clothes into the garden waste bin. Asking what time we need to leave (doesnt understand this is his home of 30 years), that "they" (nobody real) aren't communicating and the guys and girls in the office (psychotic delusions) need him to load the products (his clothes) into his car (he doesnt have one anymore).
I just can't get through to him. I've been reduced to practically begging him to stop even though I know it wont help, and he just looks at me like im silly and laughs it off.
Last night I was cooking his dinner and saw him go out into the pouring rain with another pile of clothes in his arm and approach a parked car (thinking it was where he was meant to load up the "products").

I don't know if I'm meant to play along with his delusions? Say something like "the order has been cancelled and we don't need to ship the products"? Doing that just feels like its feeding into it and would reinforce it and only make it worse?

I live with him and most days aren't great, but today and last night has been the worst. And I know it will only get worse as time goes on. Mentally, I am drained, and I feel trapped with a delusional, psychotic old man that wears the face of my father, but has none of his personality.
I'm on universal credit so can't afford a therapist or whatever, which I would like, so I guess writing it here and screaming into the digital void is the only other thing I can do.

My heart goes out to you it’s an awful situation for you and your family. Although I am far from an expert, speaking from experience I would say go along with the situation. A few years ago my husband and I became unofficial carers for our elderly neighbour as her family were either unable or unwilling to help her. She became increasingly confused and one day confided in me that she had been r*ped. I knew that this was impossible as we had the only key to her house and she was unable to admit visitors into her house herself . I tried to reason with her, suggesting that maybe she had seen a TV programme or had had a nightmare. I couldn’t bear the thought of her believing she had been the victim of such an awful experience. She became increasingly agitated and upset that I didn’t believe her, the fact that she was disbelieved upset her more than her belief that she had been attacked. I had no choice but to go along with her delusion. It faded from her memory over a few weeks, thank goodness. It still saddens me though to think of her so upset and having such awful thoughts. Sending best wishes,

 

[Bryan+]

The last three years, I’ve suffered immeasurable loss—something I always thought only happened to other people. Grief destroys everything around you: your health, both mental and physical. Over the last three or four months, I’ve started to feel like myself again, noticing the little, silly things that make me happy. I’m hopeful that I’m coming out the other side of this. I just hope it has strengthened me to enjoy the life I have, rather than mourning the one I lost.

 

[Daveysgingerlovechild]

My dad has Alzheimer's disease and I'm really struggling with his psychosis lately. My mum was away last night on a trip with her sister, back this evening and he's been very restless and delusional, largely because of her abscence.
Constantly emptying out the wardrobes and drawers. I barely managed to stop him putting piles of clothes into the garden waste bin. Asking what time we need to leave (doesnt understand this is his home of 30 years), that "they" (nobody real) aren't communicating and the guys and girls in the office (psychotic delusions) need him to load the products (his clothes) into his car (he doesnt have one anymore).
I just can't get through to him. I've been reduced to practically begging him to stop even though I know it wont help, and he just looks at me like im silly and laughs it off.
Last night I was cooking his dinner and saw him go out into the pouring rain with another pile of clothes in his arm and approach a parked car (thinking it was where he was meant to load up the "products").

I don't know if I'm meant to play along with his delusions? Say something like "the order has been cancelled and we don't need to ship the products"? Doing that just feels like its feeding into it and would reinforce it and only make it worse?

I live with him and most days aren't great, but today and last night has been the worst. And I know it will only get worse as time goes on. Mentally, I am drained, and I feel trapped with a delusional, psychotic old man that wears the face of my father, but has none of his personality.
I'm on universal credit so can't afford a therapist or whatever, which I would like, so I guess writing it here and screaming into the digital void is the only other thing I can do.

Caring is incredibly hard work. Do you have any practical support to lessen the load? I.e. respite care so that you can get a break?

In the first instance I'd talk to your GP as there are support services local to each area for your mental wellbeing. Some charities can offer afternoon or morning respite care. I used one so my mom could get a bit of extra time to do what she wanted when my Dad was unwell.

Best of luck, be kind to yourself, it's not an easy place to be in.

 

[Daveysgingerlovechild]

If I may, following discussions about "antidepressants", I'd like to give my views in the hope it clarifies ja number of things. Firstly there are loads of anti depressants specifically formulated to help with depression. I say "specifically" because there are lots of anti psychotics, probably all , that will help with mood, not just though processes. So loads of medications to help.

Your Dr or psychiatrist will prescribe you medication dependent on a number of factors. The side effect profile for example. If a medication is known to make you more drowsy, they'll unlikely prescribe it to someone who is already complaining of feeling tired all the time. Also believe it or not there are a number of anti depressants that side effects include "increased probability of suicide". Your BMI, history, family history and lifestyle will also be factors at to which medication you are prescribed. A good practitioner will look at your life "holistically", a fancy word for looking at everything that is going on in your life.

I will close with a note of caution but I'd like to implant a thought for you to think about. When a patients of mine is fist prescribed an anti depressants, I'm always a little anxious and here's why. I've often had patients say "Terry, I don't even have the motivation to kill myself. I'm just at rock bottom". Here's my worry and it may be just me being overly concerned, but I always worry that their prescribed medication sees my patients improve and their mood lifted just enough they find that "motivation and get up and go" to carry out their "plans". It's just a worth of mind.

Please don't stop your medication suddenly, but keep taking them and visit your GP for a consultation. It may be dose issues or you may require a change, but there is ALWAYS help out there. Take care all, I hope this has been offered some help.

My experience of antidepressants so far has been an eye opener. Really up and down the first two weeks, with some pretty nasty lows. I do feel more on even keel now. Having said that, I am away doing little so have to be careful of confounder and associaton/causation. But, i do think one needs to stick with them.

 

[Jamo Martinez]

My dad has Alzheimer's disease and I'm really struggling with his psychosis lately. My mum was away last night on a trip with her sister, back this evening and he's been very restless and delusional, largely because of her abscence.
Constantly emptying out the wardrobes and drawers. I barely managed to stop him putting piles of clothes into the garden waste bin. Asking what time we need to leave (doesnt understand this is his home of 30 years), that "they" (nobody real) aren't communicating and the guys and girls in the office (psychotic delusions) need him to load the products (his clothes) into his car (he doesnt have one anymore).
I just can't get through to him. I've been reduced to practically begging him to stop even though I know it wont help, and he just looks at me like im silly and laughs it off.
Last night I was cooking his dinner and saw him go out into the pouring rain with another pile of clothes in his arm and approach a parked car (thinking it was where he was meant to load up the "products").

I don't know if I'm meant to play along with his delusions? Say something like "the order has been cancelled and we don't need to ship the products"? Doing that just feels like its feeding into it and would reinforce it and only make it worse?

I live with him and most days aren't great, but today and last night has been the worst. And I know it will only get worse as time goes on. Mentally, I am drained, and I feel trapped with a delusional, psychotic old man that wears the face of my father, but has none of his personality.
I'm on universal credit so can't afford a therapist or whatever, which I would like, so I guess writing it here and screaming into the digital void is the only other thing I can do.

I can't imagine what it must be like to go through that mate.

Hope you can get the support you need. I have zero experience in this awful condition but plenty of good posters on here can probably point you in the direction you need.

 

[shackattack]

Mental health especially in men can often be seen as a weakness and stops many from seeking help. Never underestimate the importance of opening up to others , being kind - especially to yourself. Forums like this are just as essential as the other topics discussed, so many good people on here and Evertonians to boot. Whatever your struggles there is help and never feel your less of a person for asking

 

[dachshund]

Want to say thank you to you all.

Though on the surface my life's better than it's ever been, a lot of change and new challenges have brought up old trauma and been really struggling to hold it all together.

Reading all the messages in the thread and in general interacting with all the good folks on this forum helps me loads to find some solace and sanity.

Bless you all!

 

[Bazlar]

If I may, following discussions about "antidepressants", I'd like to give my views in the hope it clarifies ja number of things. Firstly there are loads of anti depressants specifically formulated to help with depression. I say "specifically" because there are lots of anti psychotics, probably all , that will help with mood, not just though processes. So loads of medications to help.

Your Dr or psychiatrist will prescribe you medication dependent on a number of factors. The side effect profile for example. If a medication is known to make you more drowsy, they'll unlikely prescribe it to someone who is already complaining of feeling tired all the time. Also believe it or not there are a number of anti depressants that side effects include "increased probability of suicide". Your BMI, history, family history and lifestyle will also be factors at to which medication you are prescribed. A good practitioner will look at your life "holistically", a fancy word for looking at everything that is going on in your life.

I will close with a note of caution but I'd like to implant a thought for you to think about. When a patients of mine is fist prescribed an anti depressants, I'm always a little anxious and here's why. I've often had patients say "Terry, I don't even have the motivation to kill myself. I'm just at rock bottom". Here's my worry and it may be just me being overly concerned, but I always worry that their prescribed medication sees my patients improve and their mood lifted just enough they find that "motivation and get up and go" to carry out their "plans". It's just a worth of mind.

Please don't stop your medication suddenly, but keep taking them and visit your GP for a consultation. It may be dose issues or you may require a change, but there is ALWAYS help out there. Take care all, I hope this has been offered some help.

Posts like this is what makes GOT so unique. People from all walks of life trying to help others that they don't even know. Some things are more important than footy but it's brilliant to see the long arm of fellow Evertonians and a few others are always there to help if they can. Just reach out if you need them. I'm sure they'll be there

 

[MrPerfectNot]

Just letting off steam - dealing with aged Mother (89) with need for hip revision after a 3rd dislocation & some dementia along for the ride, we limp along to doing the right thing surgically for her. I feel so terrible for her - my sister / her daughter passed away earlier this year and my mother is locked in memories about her while we twiddle thumbs for issues at the margin.....

It's been a proper ride the last few weeks. Responses and messages from this thread have been supportive and welcome.

My mother passed away last week and we'll have services this upcoming weekend. During her hospitalization, she just wasn't able to recover enough in terms of both physical and mental health. After making a decision to pursue comfort care, her remaining time was much more comfortable. For that we are grateful.

So, off you go, Lynnell Rae, you were a terrific parent and sibling, a fierce warrior for what was right and a grand master at any instrument containing 88 keys.

Thanks to all on this thread. And after experiencing the loss of a sister and a parent this spring, I'll be joining a grief therapy group for a bit. Time for some self care.

 

[matty1878]

dunno what thread to put this in

but i’ve had a massive flood n in my home

had to move out like just go

unbelievable

 

[COYBL25]

dunno what thread to put this in

but i’ve had a massive flood n in my home

had to move out like just go

unbelievable

Are the insurance putting you up somewhere Matty ?

 

[matty1878]

Are the insurance putting you up somewhere Matty ?

( council property mate )

i’m staying with my at a family members waiting on someone ringing me with a emergency acomm ( were and what etc )

thanx mate