Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Brett Angell Delight]

I started using drugs at thirteen but I’ve been addicted to hard drugs for around seven or eight years. Mostly cocaine but I have dabbled with opiates. I’m 31 so it’s all I really know at this point. I didn’t mean to come across as suicidal, I have no imminent desire to end my life. But I can’t see myself ever breaking the habit, regardless of optimism or wishful thinking, so it’s a fairly bleak situation. What I really needed was just to be able to type these things out and be honest because day to day I have to lie incessantly to hide my addiction.

The two main reasons I love this thread are the posters who take time out to come and check on others and offer advice or even just an ear, and - although it’s never pleasant - seeing people come on here and get their burden(s) off their chest and into a post because I always think “there it is; they’ve made a great first step.” It is shocking and saddening to think of how many people never get that far.

You’re in here doing both of those things. You’re offering help and advice to others even while you’re going through your own stuff. You’ve also made a massive step in telling us what your problems are, and where your head is at in relation to reaching some kind of resolution.

The awareness you’ve shown about your own problems tells me that you’re closer to the right track than you’re ever likely to give yourself credit for.

I’ll tell you something else, that I’m sure you already know even if deep down: getting over something like this isn’t down to “optimism or wishful thinking”; it’s going to involve a number of awkward conversations, probably facing up to some crap stuff you’ve done, apologising to some people, going through some pretty spicy physical withdrawal symptoms and coming up with some kind of rough roadmap for your near future which stands the best chance of keeping you from falling back into those habits.

Like everyone on here I don’t know you from Adam, but I just have a funny feeling you’re going to do the graft and be fine. I sincerely hope I’m right. Keep us updated mate.

 

[Spotty]

I figure Im going to tell them on our appointment Wednesday. It was literally day 1.5 so maybe that contributed. Woke up today and didn't feel good but who knows what that's attributed to. My issue is that I want to do a partial hospitalization program but I have no idea how I would get there/participate if I am too sedated or whatnot. Not trying to jump off the Seroquel, just a worry I have as Im meant to meet with the intake people on Wednesday.

And I get the time frame is needed to start to feel the effects but it's just so devastating when one doesn't work then you have to start alllllll over again for another 3-5 weeks of feeling like [Poor language removed]. Psyche is a fragile thing, I don't know how many times I can deal with "ok, that didn't work, let's try THIS" and have to wait another 3-5 after.

Good post buddy and I fully appreciate the dilema your in. As you know, we are not dealing with an exact science. Try to take as much professional advice as you can. Your priority is staying safe and thinking " what have I got to do to maintain that ". If you want to DM me Riddick, please do I'm happy to help in any way I can. Take care.

 

[Spotty]

The two main reasons I love this thread are the posters who take time out to come and check on others and offer advice or even just an ear, and - although it’s never pleasant - seeing people come on here and get their burden(s) off their chest and into a post because I always think “there it is; they’ve made a great first step.” It is shocking and saddening to think of how many people never get that far.

You’re in here doing both of those things. You’re offering help and advice to others even while you’re going through your own stuff. You’ve also made a massive step in telling us what your problems are, and where your head is at in relation to reaching some kind of resolution.

The awareness you’ve shown about your own problems tells me that you’re closer to the right track than you’re ever likely to give yourself credit for.

I’ll tell you something else, that I’m sure you already know even if deep down: getting over something like this isn’t down to “optimism or wishful thinking”; it’s going to involve a number of awkward conversations, probably facing up to some crap stuff you’ve done, apologising to some people, going through some pretty spicy physical withdrawal symptoms and coming up with some kind of rough roadmap for your near future which stands the best chance of keeping you from falling back into those habits.

Like everyone on here I don’t know you from Adam, but I just have a funny feeling you’re going to do the graft and be fine. I sincerely hope I’m right. Keep us updated mate.

As ever Brett, well said fella.

 

[Spotty]

About two weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night after eating a huge meal and felt dizzy, heavy breathing and as silly as it sounds felt like I was about to die. I couldn't explain to my wife what was wrong i just said we may need to call 999 but after ten minutes I calmed down and was fine. Since then I seem to have bouts of anxiety where every little twinge or my arm or chest sends me into a panic. I had heart burn yesterday so went to A&E and had the full mot done. Blood pressure, pulse, blood sugar and ECG. All totally fine but I still can't help feeling like something I wrong with me despite getting the all clear. I feel like I can feel my heart beating if that makes sense

Dr said if it continues we can try anxiety meds but reluctant incase I become dependant. Any experience with "panthanol" i think he said?

I'm in my 30s, not in the best shape but have started a healthier life style.

Blue I think you are anxious over something and what your describing is a panic attack. Any meds will relax you and ensure your heart is beating " rythmically ". Blue it's important to highlight / identify why your feeling anxious. As you know, your mental and physical health are intrinsically linked. You might not think it but you can start an excercise regime. I highly recommend swimming, listening to music, taking brisk walks etc. The above are evidentially very good for your mental health. Take your time and try to eat more healthily. You can do it and I'm sure you'll see the requisite improvement in your mental health. Take care buddy.

 

[COYBL25]

About two weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night after eating a huge meal and felt dizzy, heavy breathing and as silly as it sounds felt like I was about to die. I couldn't explain to my wife what was wrong i just said we may need to call 999 but after ten minutes I calmed down and was fine. Since then I seem to have bouts of anxiety where every little twinge or my arm or chest sends me into a panic. I had heart burn yesterday so went to A&E and had the full mot done. Blood pressure, pulse, blood sugar and ECG. All totally fine but I still can't help feeling like something I wrong with me despite getting the all clear. I feel like I can feel my heart beating if that makes sense

Dr said if it continues we can try anxiety meds but reluctant incase I become dependant. Any experience with "panthanol" i think he said?

I'm in my 30s, not in the best shape but have started a healthier life style.

Hi mate,

Fro what you`ve described there, your brain has become locked into a cycle of " being worried about being worried " - hence the anxiety attacks.

As @Spotty says, exercise in any form is a brilliant coping mechanism, even if it`s only taking the dog for a brisk walk.

Don`t worry about anti anxiety meds, as under normal circumstance, they`re only prescribed for short periods of time - normally 10/14 days.

They`re a tool for the short term, not the long term and contrary to urban myths, all they`ll do is make you feel normal, by taking the anxiety away.

 

[blueconverse]

Blue I think you are anxious over something and what your describing is a panic attack. Any meds will relax you and ensure your heart is beating " rythmically ". Blue it's important to highlight / identify why your feeling anxious. As you know, your mental and physical health are intrinsically linked. You might not think it but you can start an excercise regime. I highly recommend swimming, listening to music, taking brisk walks etc. The above are evidentially very good for your mental health. Take your time and try to eat more healthily. You can do it and I'm sure you'll see the requisite improvement in your mental health. Take care buddy.

Hi mate,

Fro what you`ve described there, your brain has become locked into a cycle of " being worried about being worried " - hence the anxiety attacks.

As @Spotty says, exercise in any form is a brilliant coping mechanism, even if it`s only taking the dog for a brisk walk.

Don`t worry about anti anxiety meds, as under normal circumstance, they`re only prescribed for short periods of time - normally 10/14 days.

They`re a tool for the short term, not the long term and contrary to urban myths, all they`ll do is make you feel normal, by taking the anxiety away.

Cheers fellas the replies are really appreciated. I am deffo going to set up a exercise plan and may give the meds a go to try get some control back

 

[COYBL25]

Cheers fellas the replies are really appreciated. I am deffo going to set up a exercise plan and may give the meds a go to try get some control back

I believe some GP`s are able to provide membership to gyms now, as part of a government initiative ?

Maybe something worth looking into

 

[larbert toffee]

Single................... means nothing to what other above posters are going and living through. Just a bit numb at the moment.

Sorry to hear that mate, make sure you look after yourself and come back on here for a chat f you.feel the need, yes you're usually upbeat but we all find ourself rocked at some point but you will get to a better place even if you can't see it at the moment.

 

[the golden visionary]

I feel like I need to post this.

It's 3 years ago that I finally quit all drugs and heavy drinking and smoking.

I was on antidepressants, I was addicted to pain killers, I drank heavily nightly, mostly whisky, I smoked weed/ciggies every day. I couldn't function without that cocktail.

I weaned myself off the antidepressants and painkillers over 6 months at the same time and the weed over a month. The last day was in September 2018 when I decided to stop everything. The following week was the worst of my life, which is saying something. Turkeyin is hard even when your weaning. But I stuck with it. Found the drinking easiest to quit.

I still have days where I get down, get ridiculous levels of anxiety etc but I don't go back there and I know can come back to a level mindset. I've read/listened to alot of books that have helped me, and still do.

I gave up all social media until I felt I was ready to go back on and found that this site is the only one I actually wanted to use.

Since then my life has gone on an upward spiral. I couldn't hold down a job, now I've been promoted 3 times in 2 years, I only drink when I'm out, I've never touched weed since. I only take pain killers when absolutely necessary.

Basically, it'll never go away, but I can control it, doing this has cost me relationships and friendshipbrand I'll never be able to repair them, but that's the cost and I know that even know 3 years on them people still see me as that version. It'll never change. Only I can change, and accept outcomes.

I posted about my job the other day, felt myself slipping, once I had posted I found that the release of getting it out there, anywhere, meant I could get past it, find a resolution, and control the outcome. Work is OK again.

That's all, just a little pat on the back from me to me.

Anyone going through anything, it's OK to give yourself credit, we put ourselves down enough..

 

[Earwigjoe]

I feel like I need to post this.

It's 3 years ago that I finally quit all drugs and heavy drinking and smoking.

I was on antidepressants, I was addicted to pain killers, I drank heavily nightly, mostly whisky, I smoked weed/ciggies every day. I couldn't function without that cocktail.

I weaned myself off the antidepressants and painkillers over 6 months at the same time and the weed over a month. The last day was in September 2018 when I decided to stop everything. The following week was the worst of my life, which is saying something. Turkeyin is hard even when your weaning. But I stuck with it. Found the drinking easiest to quit.

I still have days where I get down, get ridiculous levels of anxiety etc but I don't go back there and I know can come back to a level mindset. I've read/listened to alot of books that have helped me, and still do.

I gave up all social media until I felt I was ready to go back on and found that this site is the only one I actually wanted to use.

Since then my life has gone on an upward spiral. I couldn't hold down a job, now I've been promoted 3 times in 2 years, I only drink when I'm out, I've never touched weed since. I only take pain killers when absolutely necessary.

Basically, it'll never go away, but I can control it, doing this has cost me relationships and friendshipbrand I'll never be able to repair them, but that's the cost and I know that even know 3 years on them people still see me as that version. It'll never change. Only I can change, and accept outcomes.

I posted about my job the other day, felt myself slipping, once I had posted I found that the release of getting it out there, anywhere, meant I could get past it, find a resolution, and control the outcome. Work is OK again.

That's all, just a little pat on the back from me to me.

Anyone going through anything, it's OK to give yourself credit, we put ourselves down enough..

All power to you mate thats fantastic. Well done, hopefully others can be inspired by your story. Top man.

 

[Spotty]

Please click / follow this link. It's REALLY useful. I have extolled the virtues of excercise and the benefits it can provide therapeutically for those who are experiencing mental health problems.

COYB prompted me to take a look at this further and get more details, so please credit COYB for prompting me to put up a link.
Well done COYB fella. The importance of being / getting more mobile cannot be underestimated so please everyone take a look people.

Exercise for depression

Find out the benefits of exercise for depression, including how to get exercise on prescription.

www.nhs.uk

 

[Spotty]

All power to you mate thats fantastic. Well done, hopefully others can be inspired by your story. Top man.

Excellent post earwig, well said.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

I feel like I need to post this.

It's 3 years ago that I finally quit all drugs and heavy drinking and smoking.

I was on antidepressants, I was addicted to pain killers, I drank heavily nightly, mostly whisky, I smoked weed/ciggies every day. I couldn't function without that cocktail.

I weaned myself off the antidepressants and painkillers over 6 months at the same time and the weed over a month. The last day was in September 2018 when I decided to stop everything. The following week was the worst of my life, which is saying something. Turkeyin is hard even when your weaning. But I stuck with it. Found the drinking easiest to quit.

I still have days where I get down, get ridiculous levels of anxiety etc but I don't go back there and I know can come back to a level mindset. I've read/listened to alot of books that have helped me, and still do.

I gave up all social media until I felt I was ready to go back on and found that this site is the only one I actually wanted to use.

Since then my life has gone on an upward spiral. I couldn't hold down a job, now I've been promoted 3 times in 2 years, I only drink when I'm out, I've never touched weed since. I only take pain killers when absolutely necessary.

Basically, it'll never go away, but I can control it, doing this has cost me relationships and friendshipbrand I'll never be able to repair them, but that's the cost and I know that even know 3 years on them people still see me as that version. It'll never change. Only I can change, and accept outcomes.

I posted about my job the other day, felt myself slipping, once I had posted I found that the release of getting it out there, anywhere, meant I could get past it, find a resolution, and control the outcome. Work is OK again.

That's all, just a little pat on the back from me to me.

Anyone going through anything, it's OK to give yourself credit, we put ourselves down enough..

Fantastic. I think the pat on the back is much deserved. I love positive stories like yours when they are posted on here.

 

[Spotty]

What a kind gesture. God bless you my mate.

Drugs and alcohol have controlled my life for the entirety of my adult existence. In the not too distant future I’m going to have to decide between dying due to substance abuse or ending things before it reaches the sort of place I don’t want to experience.

There's a place you'll get to Blue, sometime in the future, where you'll not have a penny to your name, " friends " have been lost and found, and you'll be worn out physically and mentally. But, and here's the thing, you'll be the happiest you've been for a long time. Why? Because you'll have inner peace having a cup of coffee and thinking " I never thought I'd make it, but I have ". You will be drug free, clean and be so so contented.

You have a dual diagnosis , a mental illness alongside an addiction. I can only imagine the turmoil your going through mentally and physically, but with support, and love fro those close to you, you CAN find that piece of mind your looking for. Of course there's a massive wall you have to climb - your addiction - but once your over it your path will be clear. To me it seems so simple, sort out your addiction, and the rest will fall into place. I know so simple isn't it Spotty, I hear you ask! It's not simple though and it's going to be the hardest thing you've ever done but with focus, professional help and grit and determination, I'm sure you can reach your goal. No more having to lie, to live in the shadows and no more worries. You'll be substance free, have a clear conscience and the whole world at your feet. THAT my friend will be your biggest high ever. You don't understand yet, but you have a row to play, to be that inspiration to others in similar circumstances. To say to them " I was there, I know what your experiencing and you can come through it ".

I wish you all the best in the journey towards contentment fella, but I'm sure you can do it. Take care and I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing you well in your journey of recovery. Good luck.

 

[Spotty]

BBl

Drugs and alcohol have controlled my life for the entirety of my adult existence. In the not too distant future I’m goito have to decide between dying due to substance abuse or ending things before it reaches the sort of place I don’t want to experience.

Blue, here's a link that may be of some use. If you've read it or aware of it already, I apologise in advance. Take care.

Drug addiction: getting help

If you have a problem with drugs, there's a wide range of services that can help.

www.nhs.uk